Monday, December 19, 2005
I know. I know. "What is the point of this random chatter?" you wonder. Well this past Monday I had a pre-arranged appointment to see my Gastroenterologist for a procedure called a sigmoidoscopy. For those unwilling, or too lazy to click the provided link, it's when they stick a camera up your arse to view the lower end of your bowel (the sigmoid). Plain and simple as that. End of story.
Not a pleasant experience.
Even further unpleasant, when done at 8:15 am on a cold Monday morning, sans caffeine, coffee or food.
I arrive at the hospital and get to the designated room, and am assigned a gurney, gown and a washroom. I am sharing the room with 2 other patients, whom both share a rather unpleasant look on their faces.
They too must hate Monday mornings.
The nurses and technicians, I must say were phenomenal and very friendly. Maybe a bit too friendly. Patricia (Pat) introduces herself to me and tells me she needs to perform 2 enemas on me, the whole time with a smile across her sweet face. My Monday is not looking any brighter and I tell her I am not looking forward to having this procedure done. She assures me that it won't be too painful, just a bit uncomfortable, and proceeds to open a casual dialogue with me:
Pat: So dear, do you go by Alex, or Alexander?
Me: Um, Alex will be fine, thanks.
Pat: Dear, I need you to lie on your side with your bum bum facing me.
Sound of a box opening.
Me: Hmm....I thought I had the worse part of this procedure.
Latex glove slaps on.
Pat (laughing): And will you be celebrating the Holdays at all this year Alex?
Sound of bottle being shaken.
Me: Um, yeah. With family on the 24th, 25th. Friends the other days.
Sound of Surgical lube squishing.
Pat: Oh that's nice. And does your mum make the traditional dinner?
Feeling a cold breeze on my "bum bum" as she lifts my gown.
Me: No, the boys usually do all the cooking.
Pat: Oh that is what I like to hear! What wonderful boys you must be...Ok, Alex, here goes.
I can't really explain what the feeling is like. A rush of cold air or ice cubes being shoved up your arse is the closest I can get to it. After all the preparation work, and a few runs to the loo, I am pushed on my gurney into the examination room. While in the examination room, my doctor and her assistant pulled out the nefarious looking endoscope and proceeded to turn me towards the monitor so that I could watch my own sigmoidoscopy examination. This experience was even worse than the enema, and I was watching the whole damned thing on a monitor. The process includes filling you up with air and water so that you bloat up and feel like your having menstrual or gas cramps.
Again, NOT a pleasant feeling.
Seeing your innards was quite the experience, and if someone ever calls me a shit disturber, I'll have more than a few words to say.
P.S. Apparently, I am fine and have a "beautiful sigmoid". Her words not mine. All I could think was, I hope she doesn't use pick up lines....ever.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Hi Ryan, Just wanted to say I had a really great time the other night, and if Brad asks, go ahead and tell him. I'd rather him know than find out from other sources. I am really looking forward to picking up from where we left off wink wink. Paula
Me: Hi Paula, I am glad you had a great time and would like to pick up where we left off. What a sweet girl you are to message me. You obviously are a load of fun, but unfortunately you have the wrong number and I am not Ryan. He must have been hot though for you to send this message, but you ought to know you messaged the wrong fella.
Paula: Oh my god. I am so sorry. Who is this?
Me: Someone who gets that you had an AWESOME time, but who unfortunately is not Ryan, and who also happens to be as Queer as a three dollar bill. Though from your message, Ryan sounds like a very good catch. Good boys are hard to come by, so I wish you luck. Message when you want babes! ;P
Paula: LOL Yes, Ryan is really hot and cute. I will let you know what happens. Any tips? Thanks!
Me: Good on ya Paula! Have fun and enjoy the boy. But always remember it takes a good woman to make a real man. LOL
Paula: Really? I suppose you would know, or at least are a Master/mistress at it?
Me: You're a smart girl Paula. lol Have a great night and good luck!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
- People who spit and throw cigarette butts on the floor.
- Know it all kids.
- People who interrupt.
- Weak coffee
- Uncharitable types.
- Malicious gossip.
- Pimples (on me)
- Coughing (me)
- People who are not themselves and who always have a facade or fakeness about them.
- People who don't Poop and scoop (Their dogs pooping. Them scooping).
- Rude sales people or service industry staff.
- Customers, who are rude to sales people or service industry staff.
- Running out of toilet paper.
- People who pee on the seat and floor
- Not washing hands after going to the loo
- Overly defensive people, or people who always have to appear to be the "Right One"
- People who do not pick up the phone, return calls or emails.
- Not admitting you were wrong and carrying on from there.
- Constant complainers.
- People who complain when they create their own drama.
- Feeding pigeons.
- Weak vodka drinks (I'm rather heavy handed and generous with my portions)
- Steak that is anything more done than Medium rare.
Ok, Ok...some of these aren't so much as Pet Peeves, as piss-me-off-royally or just general kvetching, which you may have noticed was one of my pet peeves. Which of course leads me to the final Pet Peeve:
- People who take themselves too seriously and can't laugh at themselves.
Monday, December 12, 2005
2. True. We were very odd kids.
3. True. I thought they were candy adn that my parents were trying to hide them on me.
4. True. It was weird at first, but I didn't care. They were hot.
5. False. My parents thought I was retarded after I was born, but just realised I was an idiot and a poor student. The grades after C are correct though.
6.True. This was a dream that I thought was real until my mid-late 20's. I should make the clarification, that my grandmother sleeping in my parents bed was also part of the dream, but I didn't know it at the time, until I figured that would not be possible and was too weird.
Thursday, December 8, 2005
Well, after having read Tornwordo and Dickeybird's "Spot The Lie" game, I thought I would steal the idea for myself, as I thought it rather cool and interesting. Listen, I never said I was all that original and I've never had a problem telling people their ideas were great.
So here goes. Spot the Lie. You have the weekend to figure it out.
1. When I was a young lad, one of my many hamsters escaped it's cage and ended up chewing a hole into my parents couch, whereupon it got stuck and began to cry for help. I was doing my homework, so stuck the pencil behind my ear and proceeded to cut into the couch to get her out. Just as I was about to free her, the door bell rang, so I ran downstairs to open the door, upon which the pencil fell out of its holding place, bounced off the floor (eraser end) and embedded the lead tip into my foot. I opened the door to 2 girlfriends of mine who just stood in shock as I hopped about on my left foot and bled from my right foot and explained that my pet was stuck in a couch.
2. When we were kids, our home was the central gathering place since we had a park out front and a Pool out back. One summer morning we noticed the Consumers Gas technician coming in and out of our backyard to do some work. It was a hot day, so in the afternoon, we decided to go for a swim. We noticed the technicians truck still out front, and went to the backyard only to to find him floating in the pool tangled in hose with his head bobbing on the top. We freaked and began screaming, but upon closer inspection found out it was a raccoon who got caught in the automatic pool vacuum and hose, which we thought was his body.
3. I once ate Flinstones multivitaamins like candy and got diahrrea for over a week.
4. I once had sex with twin brothers who liked it that way.
5. My parents told me that I was mentally retarded when I was a kid going through school, so as to boost my ego because I was not a very bright student, and often got letters after C as a mark.
6. I had a dream when I was a kid that there was a ghost in my room who was a mime. It had white gloves and a top hat and wand, and that was all you could see. In fear, I sneaked past the ghost and ran to my parents room where my grandmother was sleeping between my parents. I believed this was true until only a few years ago.
So the next time you think or hear someone gripe about not having any money to purchase the latest iPod, dress shirt or Flat screen LCD, give them a little perspective. We all need it every once in a while and in no way is it meant to be a guilt trip or condescending. We all work hard and have our own gripes and issues, but remembering our place relative to others is a sure way to make us understand what gratitude and giving is all about.
Holiday Tip: If your having a Christmas or "Holiday" party this year, might I suggest asking your guests to bring non perishable foods or money to donate to the Daily Food Bank (or some local charity in your area) rather than accepting gifts and tacky Christmas stuff? It's a small gesture that will be greatly appreciated.
A few additional Facts:
How much money the average person relying upon food banks has to spend each day?
Number of people relying on food programs each month in the GTA in 2005?
Number of children in the GTA who live in families that rely on food banks each month?
% of people relying upon food banks who have homes?
Name 5 simple pleasures that you like most, then pick 5 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.
1. Walking or hiking in a pristine forest or conservation park. It is that feeling of being completely enveloped in Mother Nature, and that overwhelming feeling of purity, peace and solitude.
2. Hosting a party with all my friends and seeing them smile, laugh and enjoy themselves.
3. Kissing Rib Breaker in the morning while he is still asleep and seeing goosebumps pop up all over his skin.
4. Watching a thunderstorm and the ensuing rain. It's invigorating and intoxicating.
5. Waking up everyday and knowing that life is a big mystery and that I have another day to get a crack at it.
Who do I tag?
Greg the Surly
Splenda in the Grass
Sorry, but blame it on Sister...she wrote the rules :)
Friday, December 2, 2005
We packed the car and headed North and made good time. We reached North Bay just after noon, so David decided he would take me to the Mall. We walked about and got some hiking shoes for him. The people were friendly and more approachable than us Torontonians. I looked around at the people and noticed how they seemed more casual and relaxed than us big city folk. It wasn't an observation that was meant to be condescending, but I was rather pleased that it wasn't a big bustling city. I thought about all this and how I was possibly stereotyping people living in the country as simpletons or backwards. I caught myself, and realised how backwards I was for thinking that.
We decided to make our way to his Mums place, located on the outskirts of North Bay in the Powassan Municipality, a small town bordered by lots of farming and country homes. The area was also heavily settled by Mennonites living in the traditional sense. Buggies and carriages would pass by frequently and I was amazed by the dichotomy and clash of societies living side by side.
We drove through the country, fields and farm homes dotting the hilly landscape and I soon realised David had no idea where he was going. When I asked him what street they lived on, he shrugged his shoulders and said it was a "bluish home with trees around it". My look of disdain made him laugh even harder, and I couldn't help laugh at the blog worthiness of the story. Shortly thereafter, David surprisingly found the bungalow and when we got out we were greeted by David's mum's boyfriend. To say he was a big man, was an understatement. When we shook hands I noticed my hands were almost completely engulfed in his. Over the week, as I got to know him, I found out that he was a jack of all trades, a Northern Canadian forester, lumberjack, steel miller, etc. In otherwords, he was a tough man, but with a big heart and a very friendly and sarcastic disposition. When David's mum arrived, the 2 hugged for a long time and I was introduced to her. I liked her immediately. She had this carefree, relaxed and very sarcastic humour, which I found comforting and I eased into it, like a pair of warm slippers.
Over the next 3 days, we went shopping, ate and chatted and spoke about family, friends, and life in North Bay, and life in Toronto. I got the feeling she liked me and I told her that we would make a concerted effort to see her more often, or have her come down to Toronto to stay with us.
Tuesday, was spent shopping with David's mum, as it was her birthday and David sweetly bought her several gifts. Their bond is quite noticeable and on the Tuesday night, it became blindingly obvious how much they both missed each other. It was late in the evening, and I was looking at one of his mum's cat paraphenalia - everything this woman owns has some cat theme to it - it boggles the mind, but is quite endearing. I turned to comment on the cat lamp, when I saw him beginning to sob. I went to him, and held him in my arms. We didn't say much, but I felt his pain at being separated by his loved ones, and lightly cooed to him that we would see her more often. He is such a quiet man, but he has such a deep emotional well, which makes me love him like nothing else. He made me realise at that very instant how much more I need to appreciate and love my family and friends who surround and support me. I love how he does that to me without even knowing it.
On Wednesday, we took a hike on the Candadore Trails situated on a large hilly and mountainous conservation park just behind David's old college. As we began to walk, snow began to fall and the trees and trails were quickly blanketed in fresh snow. It seemed in our minds as though the forest had never been walked and there was a certain satisfaction in leaving the first footprints. I can't tell you how romantic it was (see below and Flickr ). Our intention, was to find a water fall, but David got us lost deep in the brush, off trail, deep in snow and in streams. I was cold and wet, but despite it all, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The only drawback was that we were going to visit his Grandmum right after. When I greeted grandma, I was soaking wet, covered in dirt and pine needles. I was mortified, as I took off my socks and wandered about her home with dirty, wrinkly feet, but she shushed me and told me not to worry about it. I should have known she would be fine, since she was the one asking if we would get married the night before on a phone call.
Thursday, we were woken early to David's mum singing Happy Birthday to me. It was a sweet gesture as were the card and the Scratch tickets she gave me (all of which won by the way). We dropped his mum off to work, took a few pictures then returned to Toronto early to clean and pack up some of Davids apartment belongings. It was a good trip and I was happy to see this other side of David. He is such a complex man, and I love finding these tiny scattered pieces of him. Everytime I think I know him, I am gobsmacked at how much more I have to learn.
Thursday, December 1, 2005
Click on the ribbons to find my previous thoughts on HIV and AIDS:
RB and I are on our way back from North Bay. The trip was quite lovely and his family very friendly. I was going to audio blog again, but listened to my last entry which was completely incomprehensible. I sounded like the Teacher from Charlie Brown. Will post a blog and pictures soon. Still kinda tired as I was woken at 6:30am by his mum as she sang Happy birthday to me. Gave me a cute little card as well.
I think I was a hit!
Anyhow, we are driving along Hwy 11, and I am wirelessly connected to send a quick hello. I am still alive.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
I've been under the weather with a terrible cough/cold/flu since Monday and just came back to work today. Still feel a little ripe but can't avoid the work or emails accumulating on my blackberry. I will likely not post until another weeks time as I am heading North on Monday to North Bay to visit RB's mother.
Not sure what to think, but I am trying to prepare myself. In my ignorance, I asked RB if there were any Asians there other than the token restaurant owner, but he doesn't know. I will be out of my element and in a cold place, so wish me luck. You'll more than likely get an AudioBlog Post from me, so until then, be well and take care my friends!
Friday, November 18, 2005
I've tried many different therapies, but it was only when I met Rib Breaker that I began to understand how intricate the body worked and how your mood and disposition could easily be affected by what was happening to it. RB, being a Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) would often tell me to do certain things to promote better health and strength. RB has been instrumental in teaching me more about the body and we both went to look at the amazing exhibition at the Ontario Science Centre called Body Works as part of this continued education. It was an eye opener and I would highly recommend the trip to go see it.
Well, the cynic finally has nothing to complain about, and that in itself is an acccomplishment. In fact, after seeing this Osteopath, I have energy and a sense of well being. He manipulated my muscles, joints and re-aligned my body and I feel great. The procedure was unique and I didn't expect to hear my body crack and pop as much as it did, but despite the shock of it, I am glad I went. It has been a while since my body has told me that it feels good. Today it is telling me I am great.
So, thank you Doc for this and I hope to see where this will go.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
No thanks to Myke, I have been tagged to dish out more crap about me. Baaaah, "Wok the heck", it's a rainy day and I have nothing better to do anyways. Two Names You Go By --
1. Alex (friends and family call me this)
2. Sasha (long ago I was called this by Jewish bubbe's in my neighbourhood)
Two Parts of Your Heritage --
1. Shanghainese (people from Shanghai, China)
2. Hakka Indian(Chinese people from India)
Two Things That Scare You --
1. Blatant ignorance
2. The inability of some to think for themselves.
Two of Your Everyday Essentials --
1. Coffee from Starbucks
2. Clean pair of tightie whities
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now --
1. Black underwear (couldn't find said clean Tightie whities, and Black is not my preferred colour choice).
2. Vintage T-shirt for the movie Superchick.
Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment) --
1. Franz Ferdinand
2. Simple Plan (My happy cute boy band group for the moment).
Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love) --
1. To be taken care of, as much as I like to take care of others.
2. Somebody to talk to about my dreams, fears, worries and desires.
Two Truths --
1. A single word can deliver a life altering message. In my case it was "HIV+". You can either wallow in self pity, anger and regret, or fight the battle, look forward with head high and be strong. I chose the latter.
2. I have generally always been optimistic and happy.
Two Physical Things that Appeal to You --
1. A person, who when they smile, it shows in their eyes.
2. The look and feel of a man's obliques and that fleshy bit called the love handle (moderate).
Two of Your Favorite Hobbies --
1. Painting and drawing
Two Things You Want Really Badly --
1. To travel the world and "live" life.
2. To swim with dolphins
Two Places You Want to go on Vacation --
1. New Zealand
Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die --
1. Travel and see the world
2. Make a difference somehow...To become the man I believe I can and will be.
Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Guy --
1. I like the outdoors and getting dirty.
2. I hate shopping (despise)
Two Things You Normally Wouldn't Admit --
1. I can become emotionally cold to protect myself from hurt.
2. I had a crush (still do) on Julia Roberts.
Two Things You Are Thinking About Now --
1. Why this questionairre has taken me almost 90 minutes to complete.
2. That Christmas Carol "Let it Snow"
Two Stores You Shop At --
1. Grocery stores
2. Art supply store (Curry's)
Two people I haven't talked to in a while --
1. Catherine (lost touch, no fault of hers)
2. My parents (they are in New Zealand)
Two bloggers who may now dislike you for passing this on to them --
1. Earth Mother: The Goddess Hopeful
2. Greg the Surly
Bonus (sorry, Myke added this and I feel like pissing more people off today so I decided not to remove it) of 2 more bloggers who may now be ticked off at me --
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I was with my old high school buddies, driving home at night around 2 am. We had been relaxing at Life Over Easy's (LOE) home in North York, and it was past 2 am when we decided to leave. It had been a rather long night, but Life Over Easy had kindly offered to drive us. The 4 of us piled in the car, with our school bags and notebooks in tow.
We chatted and listened to The Cure as we drove North along Yonge Street. It wasn't particularly busy on the streets, and we made good time. As we closed in on my neghbourhood, we noticed a police cruiser stopped at the red light going West bound on Elgin Mills Road. As we passed the cruiser, it suddenly veered into the North bound lane on Yonge street, following us. We slowed down thinking the cruiser was on a call and about to pass us, but there were no sirens or signals for us to pull over, save the fact that the cruiser was now tailgating us with the highbeams on. Just as LOE signalled to turn right into my neighbourhood, the cruiser lights came on and we were signalled to pull over. We waited about 3-5 minutes before 2 cops came out of the cruiser to approach, one to the drivers side, the other to the rear of the passenger side. It did not go unnoticed that both were armed, with their hands on their holsters.
The officer tapped on the drivers window, his flashlight in our eyes, and LOE rolled his window down. This is how the conversation went.
Officer: Drivers license and registration.
LOE: Uh, Yes officer. Here (passes to officer)
Officer (looking around in the car): Where you boys coming from at this time of night?
LOE: From my house. We were studying, and I'm driving my friends home.
Officer: Is that right? And where would your home be?
LOE: xxx xxxx in North York.
Officer: Have any of you been drinking?
LOE: No sir. We don't drink.
Officer: And who are you driving home?
LOE: Umm, well, him first (pointing at me, behind driver).
Officer (looking at me and tapping my window): Lets see what's in the bags. Let's have a closer look in your bag.
Me (opening my bag): Yes sir. They are just text books.
Officer: Let's see your identification or drivers license.
Me: Yes sir. Here.
Officer: Right. Stay here.
The officer stepped away to his cruiser and we waited for about 15 minutes for him to return. While we waited another cruiser pulled up and 2 additional cops came out and stood around LOE's vehicle. We were nervously concerned as we had no idea what this was all about. It felt odd and rather uncomfortable.
Officer (to LOE): Here's your registration and license.
LOE: Thank you
Officer (to me): So where did you say you were coming from?
Me: LOE's home in North York.
Officer: and what is his address?
Me: xxx xxxx address.
Officer: And where are you going? What is your address?
Me: Ummm, the same as the one on the Drivers license at xx Woodstone Ave, just down this street on the left.
Officer: Uh huh. And what's your name?
Me: Umm, Alexander
Officer: Do you go by any other names?
I look around at my friends who offer "Al" as an answer.
Officer: No, do you go by any other names?
Me: umm, such as what?
Officer: Why don't you tell me.
Me: Sir, I have no idea. Ireally don't go by any other names.
Officer: You mean you don't ever go by Kun Phuc Yi?
Me (hearing "Kentucky" as in Fried Chicken): uh, I'm sorry what?
Officer (more loudly): Kun Phuc Yi! Kuuun Phuuuc Yiii. Do you go by that name?!
Me: Um, no. That sounds like a Vietnamese name and I'm not Vietnamese.
Officer: uh...hmmm. Well, according to our check you match the decription of Mr. Kun Phuc Yi.
Me: Well sir, I'm sorry, but that really is not me. I don't know what to tell you. Umm, out of curiosity, may I ask what this is all about and why we were pulled over?
Officer: well, uh, we are following a lead with a description of a ... similar car with Asians in the car matching your descriptions, who are ... uhh ... trafficking stolen weapons.
Me: You could see us in the dark to know? Well, wouldn't you like to look in the trunk then as well?
The cops finally let us go, with a parting comment that we "boys, be sure to get home quick". I'm sure there was more said, but we didn't want to stick around.
Friday, November 11, 2005
IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
A heartfelt thanks to those Veterans and the highest respect to those who lost their lives. We would not be here today without your sacrifices.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
My foot in China
Friday, November 4, 2005
My grandfather, whom I have written about previously was one of those men I always was wary of. His mannerisms and personality were dependent upon the company he kept, and I found him to be insincere and rather disingenious. I know those are harsh words, but just because you are blood, doesn't mean you have to love someone. My grandfather was a man with 2 different personalities clearly separated by the public and the private image, and this made me very uncomfortable.
Out in public he was a kind and serene, well-respected and well-known Evangelical Reverend who hob knobbed with the likes of Billy Graham and other Christian fundamentalists. At home, it was a completely different story. His temper, impatient and demanding nature were volatile to say the least and I was often the brunt of it. The fact that he was also incredibly hard of hearing meant he would end up screaming at you, no matter what the situation. In addition to these lovable traits, he also drank several pots of coffee a day, with heaping spoonfuls of sugar (4 Tbsps to be exact) in each cup. In otherwords, he was continuously wired and would often wake me with a start at 2-3am on a school night, to tell me to fix his VCR or turn on the television. With lights glaring in my eyes, he would start to spit and drool all over me as he tried to speak without his dentures.
No dentures + 2 pots of coffee + sugar + deafness + impatience = Downright Crazy
God, those dentures still give me the heebie jeebies.
The nightmares also stem from his nightly routine of using my toothbrush to scrub his dentures and then wiping them on my towel and placing them in my cup in the washroom. Why he did this I have no idea. I simply began to hide all my stuff in my own room. If he needed to brush his dentures now, he could use the toilet brush for all I cared. You can't imagine what it was like, finding bits of meat and food on my towel and tooth brush.
I think the most "memorable" experience was the afternoon I returned home with 3 of my best friends in tow. These were all old highschool buddies whom I still keep in touch with to this day. Life Over Easy had driven us to my place and we had planned on chilling out and listening to music. As I entered the foyer with my friends, I could hear that my grandfather was home. His bedroom TV was blaring and there was a very loud and disturbing sound echoing through the foyer.
nggggghhhhhh, uh huuuh, oh yeah! Oh Yeah! Baby! Oh god! Oh GOD! Oh GOD! OH GOOOODDDDD!!!!!
Oh God indeed! The dirty bugger was watching porn again. I grabbed my bewildered friends and pushed them into the Family Room and turned on the radio to drown out the echoes of several females in the throes of orgasmic release. I ran upstairs and began knocking on his door.
I knocked harder.
I had no choice but to open the door and do something about the situation. What I witnessed, I would never force even upon my worst enemy. It was as though I had seen that video tape in The Ring and my life changed forever. I remember telling my mum & dad and ratting the old man out that evening, and forcing them to deal with the situation. In Chinese culture, a son (grandson) always puts family first and will be the filial dutiful son even when they don't want to be. Respect comes before anything, and with my grandfather I was losing it. He preached about the decrepid state of morality in society and spoke against all sorts of so-called "immoral" acts, and on the side he was watching Debbie Does Dallas.
It was at this very instant that I began to see the hypocrisy in peoples' lives and the way that the world really revolved. Growing up as a teen is difficult as it is. Adding all the complexities of being gay, with a low self esteem and general confusion fueled my anger that religion could have such a strong grip on dictating what morals should be put out there, when they were often the perpetrators of such heinous and dishonest crimes like paedophaelia and ministries for profit (prophet?) like Benny Hinn (not to be confused with Benny Hill).
Whether this was misdirected teenage angst or not, I am thankful to my grandfather even if the actual lesson were not his intention or a direct result of him having taught me.
Thursday, November 3, 2005
I've written about these "unique conversations before here and here
My parents left for a 3 month trip to China in September and will also extend their travels to Australia and New Zealand. When they go on trips I rarely hear from them. Sort of like, Out of sight, out of mind. They just forget were here, but if we kids fail to call them, we hear no end of it. So I finally hear from them on Sunday.
Dad (crackling in background): Hello?? It's Dad.
Me: HeyDad! How are you? How are things going?
Dad: I don't have much time. My card is running out so you have my number on your call display?
Me: Uh, yeah. So how are things?
Dad: So you have the number right? Don't lose it, ok?
Me: I have it, don't worry. So how are you and mum.
Dad: Good. Here.... (silence)
Me: Mum? oh, hi.
Mum: Hi! How's my doggie?
Me: She's fine (ahem) and so am I.
Mum: Oh, for goodness sakes! Your father always tells me to tell you something while I am trying to talk to you! Dad's tellling me something. Hold on.
Me: Mum, this is long distance and expensi....(dial tone)
After 20 minutes I realise that "My card is running out so you have my number on your call display?" was actually my Dad's way of telling me to call him back.
Me: Hi Mum. We got cut off, so I wanted to call you back.
Mum: Good good. Have you seen your brother and his wife? They were both sick when they left us in Shanghai. You tell them to listen to what mother says and to visit that Chinese doctor. You know, I was coughing for so many months and then I went to see the Chinese doctor and then I was fine! Can you believe that? Isn't it great! But now I am here and it is very dusty in the apartment and we couldn't get a maid to help us clean and cook. Imagine that! Here in China, unable to find someone. So now I have to clean.
Me: Well, I will be sure to tell them to see your doctor. How's the family? How are the Great Aunties and Grandfather?
Mum: They all have full blown dementia. Poor things, they have all gone down hill in the last year.
Me: Oh, that's so sad.
Mum: By the way, check the Agenda Dad sent you. He keeps interrupting our chat to tell me to remind you that we're leaving Friday for Sydney. Which reminds me, how is my computer? Can I use it in Sydney?
Me: Umm, I have your new computer but haven't hooked it up at your place yet.
Mum: Did you get a new flat screen for me like you said you would for my birthday?
Me: Ah, not yet, but soon.
Mum: So I can't use my address book?
Me: Your address book? what do you mean?
Mum: How do I get on the Internet and send emails if you haven't put my computer stuff in the new one?
Me: You can't access your PC from Sydney, mum. You will use the PC or Internet service local to you in Sydney.
Mum: But, how do I know the email addresses of everyone I need to send to?
Me: Just go into your online address book like I showed you with your Yahoo account.
Mum: I don't understand. How can I do that if my computer is not set up properly.
Me: Mum, this is a very expensive call. Don't you think we should be talking about other things?
Mum: Ok. I guess I should let you go then. Give Kalyx my sweet puppy a hug and tell your silly brother to see the doctor.
Me: Ok. Bye. Love you and have fun.
I love them like crazy, but imagine getting this type of call 3 times a week or more when they live in the city. Happy trip Mum and Dad! Enjoy your vacation, because I am.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Just hearing about it makes me angry and frustrated. I can't even imagine what the people there are feeling. It's high time that both the Aboriginal Nations (Indian Affairs) and the Federal and Provincial governments get off their asses and do something about the failure and problems on Native Reserves. You wonder why suicide, alcoholism and general malaise is so rife on reserves and it comes down to a few things (in my mind).
No where to go
Nothing to do
No economic viable industry
No support (from government and society)
No sense of accomplishment
Loss of pride
Loss of culture
When you are placed on a piece of land with nothing to help facilitate growth, industry or economic stability, what do you expect the people to do? An old friend of mine who is from the Mohawk Nation told me once that the First Nations people feel as though they are a forgotten people, with more stereotypes against them than any other Race or cultural group. We had an interesting debate about that and I am torn and on the fence. I can remember being unemployed for 3 months, looking for a job in Toronto and feeling like crap, but I had the opportunity to go to many employers and also have a solid educational background. Imagine when you have nothing. And then you get people making dumb ass comments that Natives are drunks and druggies and lazy.
I've been busy and have lots to say but have been too busy so will try to catch up later. Hope everyone is well, and have a Happy Hall'o'ween!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
- I am getting my piano tuned right now. RB went and called a Tuner company 2 weeks ago, because he heard me yammering about how the piano was so out of tune that when I played a piece, it sounded like a different song. Song-yee (the tuner man) started to laugh at how badly out of tune it was. He did a few scales and played a bit, and I realise I need to go take lessons again.
- RB started to move a few things into the place, and we have made some decisions to get rid of unnecessary clutter. On my way out to get coffee I dropped of a few old blankets (washed) and left them by a man sleeping at College/Yonge. I am sure he can use them.
- I still have my cough/cold from 2 weeks ago, so have been absent and rather remiss with my postings.
- I have been watching Weeds from Showcase (US). It is on Wednesday's at 10pm. I seriously recommend this show...and I don't EVER like many shows.
- Don't ever eat at Red Lobster. It's disgusting and really salty and oily. I felt like I was eating a bag of salt soaked in butter.
- Lots of new ideas for personal artistic development, which I hope to actually start in the next week or so. I never thought I would get back into Canvas or sketch work, but it seems I am developing a new desire to do so. I stopped doing anything for about 8 years because I had no passion or artistic creativity, and I always said I would never do any work that didn't involve some passion in it. Just seems rather disingenuous to do so.
- The Company has just purchased a large piece of Real Estate in butt-fuck no where and everyone is concerned that we are being moved there. It currently takes a 15 minute wlk for me to get to work. This new location would have me travelling over 1 hour plus, via Public Transportation.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
I, and many of you fellow readers had befriended "Joel" from Priori Ad Lib, who we read on a regular basis. His words flowed with poetic warmth, and he touched us with his incredible insight into the world around him as he suffered through a recurrence of his Leukemia. I won't drag on about the details, but Joel is in effect no more. In fact "Joel" never was. It seems that he was a figment of someone's imagination and that nearly all the poetry and writings from his site were plagiarised.
Sadly, this was brought to my attention by a very kind soul who had gone to visit "Joel" at the Vancouver General Hospital, which "Joel" had invited him to do. Upon his arrival, he was astonished to find out that "Joel" never existed nor was anyone of his description ever an in or out-patient. Why someone would invite a fellow blogger to meet a fictional individual is beyond me. Did they not see that the final outcome would not be good? It took quite a bit of sleuthing, but it seems even the name and people and stories he seemed to captivate us with, were taken from other people's lives and blogs. Early on in our blogdom relationship, I had a brush of doubt when reading one of apriori adlib's posts, but that may simply be my ego or pride kicking in that I should have known earlier. Though it did surprise myself and others that despite all his "accidents" and cancer that he was formidably upbeat and strong.
I feel a resounding pang of sadness and anger that someone would go to such lengths to manipulate our humanistic need for empathy and sympathy. So many of us could relate to Joel, whether it was a friend, family member or ourselves that had cancer or some disease that affected our lives. I have been ruminating about the purpose of the Blog, and can think of a few:
- maybe he did exist and was being remembered by a family or friend who couldn't let go.
- maybe this was a test, like those reality shows, to see what the human capacity was to feel empathy, care and love.
- maybe it was a lonely individual who needed attention, and did whatever they could at the expense of others to get some semblance of attention.
- maybe the person was simply a pathological liar.
A priori means "'From the former' — presupposed, the reverse of a posteriori. Used in mathematics, philosophy and logic to denote something that is known or postulated before a proof has been carried out." (wikepedia)
ad libitum means "'According to one's pleasure' — Latin ad, according to + libitum, past participle of libre, to please. Often used to indicate the liberty to "improvise", "just ramble on"; especially in music, theatrical scripts, etc..." (wikepedia).
Put the 2 together and you get "to postulate and improvise from the Former" (or something close to it. I am not a Latin major, so humour me). After that definition I am more apt to believe that this was an experiment to see how far a lie could go before it was unwound. An attempt to carry out a project to see if people would blindly trust or actually look for empirical data to back up the postulated theory.
In anycase, the site is now defunct and removed, but a fellow blogger who was so incensed by what "Joel" had done, has now posted A priori Adlibs last few blog posts here.
Karma can kinda be a bitch that way.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Life otherwise has been moving along with some added momentum. Rib Breaker and I have been communicating a lot over the last few weeks, sharing what it is that we want in our lives and relationship. There was a patch a month ago that made our relationship a bit stressful and uncertain. It had arisen from RB's general malaise and lack of communication. I had a long chat with him when it was happening and said some very brutally honest things, that essentially revolved around him taking responsibility for his life. I essentially told him that "there is a point in your life where you have to buck up and take life by it's balls. Be a Man and stop running away from your issues and problems and face them head on. Trust yourself and have faith that you can do whatever you set your mind to. I believe in you and your potential, now you need to as well. Just do it. Don't complain about it, because you won't get any sympathy from me if you don't at least put a foot forward and try." I also told him that I was looking for an equal in a relationship, someone who could support me emotionally, mentally and financially as much as I would of them.
It all hit him pretty hard and he left to ruminate about it, and came back a new person. The change has been phenomenal and with this renewed sense of self, he and I are now talking about the big "M" word....
Please people, I'm crazy, but not that crazy. So, no. Not Marriage. I am far too rational and cautious to jump into anything without first dissecting everything and having a discussion about it. RB is not a man of many words and can find this a bit challenging to say the least. He is, however, an intelligent man and has made the mental calculation and sees, or at least has seen the benefits of communication in our relationship...
Yes, it sounds crude, but RB is a simple man who equates much of his happiness to the satiation of 2 things his Mojo, and his stomach. I get my happiness from (amongst many other things) knowing what is happening in life and having the ability to communicate about things. So, I am conditioning him with positive reinforcement. With good communication and good relations he gets more booty. simple. done. finis.
RB has already in essence been living with me for nearly a year, whilst holding his own flat on the East end. If all works well, and we don't chicken out, he will give up his place and move his cute little ass into my place. Lots to discuss still, and a lot of change is happening. It's all a bit scary, but at the same time refreshing and exhilarating. I have never been in a relationship past 6-8 months, nor have I ever shared so much of my time and life with someone, so this is rather an interesting stage in my life.
Change is good...it's what I keep telling myself.
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
I’ll sit in the chair and the 2 will start asking me about things that I know have happened to me, but have forgotten that I shared with them. Lets just say, I have the worse memory you can imagine, and leave it at that. I could meet you, and talk to you for 2 hours, and one hour later, I’ll forget your name.
One week later I’ll forget what we talked about.
Two weeks later, I will have forgotten how we met.
Two months later, I will have forgotten any association I have to you.
Anyhow, I realise that during my cleaning appointments, I have a tendency to babble on about my life – things that seem normal and natural to me, but when taken out of my world are bizarre. It seems these “bizarre” and “funny’ stories are the only reasons why these people remember me. It’s not my charming good looks or my fabulous teeth, it’s my weird-ass anecdotes about my family and friends or my experiences that they associate to me.
“Oh hey, it’s Alex. The I.T guy whose parents show up at his home unannounced waiting for him to return so that they wave to him from his twelfth floor condo unit, so that he knows that they are there.” No need to call, just show up and wave!
It really is a feat, how they get all this information out of me. I find it odd that they can consistently talk and ask questions while they have all these objects, tools and hands in my mouth.
What’s even more odd, is I answer them.
I'm glad I can entertain them so much as my gums bleed.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
As a side note, did anyone read Bush's response to the anti-war efforts back on August 30, 2005? In another news photo-op moment, Bush tried to reason and dupe the public again, by claiming that US troops were needed to continue fighting in
''We will defeat the terrorists," Bush said. ''We will build a freeYeah, ok. Is it me, or is he still spouting the same old crap?
that will fight terrorists instead of giving them aid and sanctuary." Iraq
"We can all pitch in," Mr. Bush said. "People just need to recognize that the storms have caused disruption," he added, and that if Americans are able to avoid going "on a trip that's not essential, that would be helpful."
Mr. Bush promised to dip further into the government's petroleum reserve, if necessary, and to continue relaxing environmental and transportation rules in an effort to get more gasoline flowing.
On Capitol Hill, senior Republicans called for new legislation that they said would lower energy costs by increasing supply and expanding oil refining capacity over the long run.
Even though Hurricane Rita caused much less damage to the oil industry than feared, the two recent hurricanes have disrupted production in the Gulf of Mexico enough to ensure that Americans are facing a winter of sharply higher energy costs. The price of natural gas, which most families use to heat their homes, has climbed even more than the price of gasoline recently.
Households are on pace to spend an average of $4,500 on energy this year, up about $500 from last year and $900 more than in 2003, according to Global Insight, a research firm.
Mr. Bush's comments, while similar to remarks he made shortly after the disruption from Hurricane Katrina pushed gasoline prices sharply higher, were particularly notable because the administration has long emphasized new production over conservation. It has also opted not to impose higher mileage standards on automakers.
In 2001, Vice President Dick Cheney said, "Conservation may be a sign of personal virtue, but it cannot be the basis of a sound energy policy." Also that year, Ari Fleischer, then Mr. Bush's press secretary, responded to a question about reducing American energy consumption by saying "that's a big no."
"The president believes that it's an American way of life," Mr. Fleischer said.
Mr. Bush, speaking yesterday after he was briefed at the Energy Department, did not use the dour tone or cardigan-wearing imagery that proved politically deadly for Jimmy Carter during the oil crisis of the 1970's. Nor did Mr. Bush propose new policies to encourage conservation. But he was more explicit than in the past that Americans should cut back.
Oil companies spent much of yesterday assessing the damage from Hurricane Rita, which seemed to spare many oil and gas facilities. Still, the gulf's entire oil output and about four-fifths of its natural gas production remained shut yesterday, less than a month after Katrina left the industry stretched thin.
The Gulf of Mexico produces about 7 percent of the oil consumed in the United States and provides 16 percent of the nation's natural gas.
About half of the 16 refineries that were forced to shut by Hurricane Rita have said they plan to restart production soon. But delays in refining pushed the average price of gasoline up again for the first time since Labor Day, to $2.80 a gallon for regular gasoline, according to AAA.
Crude oil prices also rose yesterday on the New York Mercantile Exchange, closing up 2.5 percent, to $65.82 a barrel. Natural gas futures rose 12 cents, to $12.44 a thousand cubic feet.
"We've been in a chronic situation here where supplies have not really caught up with demand," said Dave Costello, an analyst at the Energy Information Administration.
In response to higher energy costs, households are likely to spend less on restaurant meals, clothing and other items. That would slow economic growth in coming months, but economists predicted that other forces - like a continuing housing boom and rising corporate investments in factories and equipment - would keep the economy growing.
"I don't think we're talking about a recession or a near recession," said Joshua Shapiro, the chief United States economist at MFR, a research company in New York. "I think we're talking about growth that is slower than people expected."
Households are now spending about $550 billion a year on energy, up by about $150 billion since the start of last year, according to Global Insight. Over the course of an entire year, the increase would be equal to almost 2 percent of overall consumer spending.
Energy costs are likely to be a particular burden on low- and middle-income households, whose income growth has barely matched inflation over the last few years. Wealthier households have done better, government data show, and have helped keep economic growth healthy with spending on second homes, new vehicles and the like.
Although more forecasters, including Federal Reserve officials, remain optimistic, some say that the spike in energy costs could lead to something of a tipping point for consumers. Families have already begun saving less money in response to higher energy costs, and they might eventually decide to rethink other parts of their budget.
"The best leading indicator of consumer spending is real average hourly earnings," which have been hurt by higher energy costs, said Joseph H. Ellis, a former Goldman Sachs partner and the author of a forthcoming book on the business cycle. "I think we're heading into a very difficult 2006."
In Washington, two House committees are expected to consider proposals this week that have been blocked in the past by environmental objections. Beyond making it easier to build new refineries, one proposal would allow states to opt out of Congressional bans on coastal oil drilling, and another would allow drilling for oil and gas in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, which has been controversial for years.
"Families who are paying more than $3 for a gallon of gasoline cannot afford to watch Congress block more clean U.S. energy production while they suffer," said Representative Richard Pombo, Republican of California and chairman of the Resources Committee.
The oil and gas industry supported the moves. John B. Walker, chairman of the Independent Petroleum Association of American, said areas now off limits offshore and in Alaska "could supply our nation with more than 100 years of natural gas - and save U.S. consumers upward of $500 billion."
Environmental groups said drilling advocates were trying to take advantage of anxiety from the storms and rising gasoline prices to push proposals that did not survive in the recently passed energy bill.
"It is kind of sad," said Kevin Curtis, legislative director at the National Environmental Trust. "There is nothing here that helps the consumer at the gas pump short term."
While attention has been focused on gasoline prices, the spike in natural gas prices has the potential to pose a bigger economic threat.
Households that use natural gas will pay an average $1,130 to heat their homes this winter, an increase of almost $400, according to federal government estimates. The price of natural gas in futures markets has more than doubled since 2000 and is six times what it was throughout the 1990's.
Monday, September 26, 2005
2. Were you named after anyone? One of the Trudeau kids. My brother is named after one of the other Trudeau kids.
3. Do you wish on stars? Nope, but I sure do like to look at them.
4. When did you last cry? A couple of weeks ago.
5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, at times
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Prosciutto
7. What are your pet peeves? Rude people, who don't say "Thank you". People who don't hold the door open for the next person. People who are tardy. People who are drama queens. People who don't smile. Nosiness. Bossiness. Arrogance.
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Captain and Tenille
9. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No.
10. Do you think you're strong? Yes I believe so: physically, spiritually and mentally. It's a learning and growing process.
11. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? I'm lactose intolerant, so I steer clear of the stuff. But would choose vanilla or chocolate.
12. Shoe Size? 10 1/2
13. Red or pink? Red
14. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I can be a bit too aggressive at times.
15. Who do you miss most? Daily? My grandmother and an old friend I lost touch with.
16. Do you want everyone who reads this to comment and post on their blog? Comment, sure if they wish. Post is up to them.
17. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans, and black striped dress shirt.
18. What are you listening to right now? Les Nubiennes
19. Last thing you ate? Swiss Chalet Regular cut ribs and quarter chicken with fries.
20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue
21. What is the weather like right now? Rained all morning. Now it is slightly humid and sunny with clouds.
22. Last person you talked to on the phone? An officer at the Police station, reporting my lost wallet and protection of identity.
23. The first thing you notice about a person? Smile and eyes. I can see if they are kind and genuine this way.
24. What are 5 things that attract you to a partner? Self-confidence (not arrogance), masculinity, kindness, sincerity, humour.
25. Favorite Drink? vodka and anything.
26. What amazes you? Nature, and how small we are in the grand scheme of all things. Oh, and love.
27. Hair Color? Black - getting a few greys now.
29. Do you wear contacts? Yes.
30. Favorite Food? A really nice home cooked meal.
31. Last book you read? In the middle of several books: Dan Browns' Angels & Demons, David Sedaris' Dress Your Family in Courduroy and Denim, Pearl Buck' The Good Earth.
32. Favourite Day of The Year? The first day of Spring when the sun is shining and one can feel the warmth and smell the earth and see the tulips and spring flowers.
33. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy Endings
34. Summer or Winter? Summer for sure
35. Hugs OR Kisses? Depends who... hugs rock but kissing with someone special can't be beat.
36. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Chips or fruit.
37. Salty or sweet tooth? Salty for sure.
38. Where were you born? Taipei, Taiwan (yes, I'm made in Tawian)
39. Living Arrangements? Me and my dog and Rib Breaker who practically lives with me now.
40. What's your favorite book? Anything by David Sedaris, Raymond E. Feist, Kurt Vonnegut.
41. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Don't use mousepads.
42. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Discovery Health Channel: The true story of a 675LB woman, the 1 Tonne man, and the two headed baby...I know, I need a life.
43. Favorite Smells? The forest earth, the smell of a man just out of the shower, Rain, lavender, freshly laundered clothing.
44. Favorite Sounds? Laughter and friends voices
45. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Rolling Stones
46. What's the furthest you've been from home? China
47. Do you have a special talent? Is this a trick question...Ummm, I'd say the ability to see both sides to a point or argument.
48. What is your ring tone? What it should be, a phone ringing
49. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
50. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? somewhere warm, where the ocean meets beaches, waterfalls and mountains.
51. Where would you like to retire to? See number 50.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
What with all these recent
natural environmental events disasters Acts of God happening in the U.S, I got to wondering where the forgiving Christian God had gone with his miracles? Had he forsaken all the good, God-fearing, Bible reading Americans, like he did Christ on Golgotha? Why would he do something like this? Was he washing all the sinners from the land like he did during the Great Flood, or does he simply no longer hear the prayers of His people?
"The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him to His heart. So The Lord said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the ground, man and beast and creeping things and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them." (Genesis 6:5-7 RSV)In the Bible it states that, "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. (Nahum 1:7)" It also claims "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. (Psalms 145: 18-19)".
So I guess those who pray to God and go to Church will receive this "refuge" as he will hear their cries and save them. Pat Robertson claimed that his prayers to God helped prevent both Hurricane Gloria (1985) and Hurricane Felix (1995) from striking Hampton Roads, Virginia, the headquarters of Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN). The Virginian-Pilot who quoted him, further noted that "Robertson also believes that various natural disasters are signs of God's will and that the world will suffer more of them before the arrival of 'the end of the age.'" Halleleujia! That's quite the feat there Patty-boy. As Roma Downey says, "God loves you!"
Of course in typical Pat Robertson double-talk, back on May 01, 2005, when George Stephanopolous was interviewing Pat Robertson for ABC, he asked why a God "so involved in our daily life" would allow a tsunami to kill hundreds of thousands of people, Robertson than replied that "I don't think He reverses the laws of nature."
Hmmm, so which is it? Does God listen to us or not? Does God swerve hurricanes and earthquakes and natural disasters away from the praying peeps or not?
And, what does this mean for all those who were hit, or who did die? What does this Biblically represent when hurricanes, tropical storms and tornadoes are hitting all over the States - Either God really hates Dubya and is ignoring Roberstons' prayers, or Roberston simply isn't praying hard enough for the people of the world. Or, maybe it was Sunday, you know, the day that God takes a rest from all his work. Come on people, everyone gets tired. You really oughta give the big man a break once in a while - what with your constant prayers, whining and kvetching. He must get tired of it all and need at least 1 days rest, don't you think?
Of course, when the disaster does hit, it is blamed on the Gays, abortionists, feminists, non-Christians, heathens, but never on Bush, nuclear weapons, war, greed, false prophets or Benny Hinn. The hypocrisy just astounds me. I wonder if just maybe, and I know this is a big stretch of the imagination. But, what if - and this is a big IF - Hurricanes were actually just a natural occurrence where warm water, moist air and equatorial winds converge? Do you think God looks at his Microsoft Outlook Calendar, and says every July-to-October that there are more sinners this time of the year, so "lets wreak some havoc?"
But, I realise that can't be true, because Creationists and Intelligent Design proponents have empirical evidence in the Bible that these things are truly acts of gods mercy. You know, I may be a bit blonde at times, but I'm not an idiot. I have spoken and listened to many preachers and theologians speaking about the mercy of God - that God is not at the mercy of us, but that we are at the mercy of God.
Ummm, yeah, I think I'll pass on that thanks. All this simply tells me is that if we do not follow the will of God than we will be punished. I have enough things going on in my own life, that I don't need some unseen entity hovering around me granting and bestowing me mercy when He thinks I've prayed enough.
That's called vicious teasing or better yet, bullying.
Reminds me of when I was 9 years old. There was a bully in my elementary school, who would punch me and make fun of me, and beat me up on my way home. He would put me in a headlock and tell me to say I was a "cock sucker" or something like that and then steal something from me. If I agreed and said or did what he wanted, then I would be spared his wrath. I see no difference, other than that my bully in school was real and tangible and not a figment of my imagination. I know the difference, thanks.
Oh, and as for the bully? I realised that his idle threats could be matched and beaten by a well placed kick to his gonads. He too pleaded to God and Jesus Christ that afternoon, but I guess God was busy with other more important things.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Fox News and CNN on Canada
Your Pet Beaver?
Canadian breast exam
Don't spend your life
Prison Life Insurance
2004 Voting Machine
Tune it Out
Reach: A Musical Lecture
Wife on Phone
New cell phone
real life vs. Internet
News report from Iraq
Monday, September 19, 2005
Why am I bringing this up?
Well, this morning as I was on my way to work crossing College Park, I noticed a handsome young man in casual business attire having trouble walking. He had his work bag clenched in his fist and was shaking uncontrollably, head cocked back. In fact, from experience he was either having a seizure or he had cerebral palsy. There were a number of people walking by him giving him funny looks, so I ran over to him to ask if he was ok. He muttered something uncomprehensible and it became obvious to me that he wasn't. I grabbed him and picked him up, before he fell to the ground and carried him over to the grass. His seizure lasted about 45 - 60 seconds and he was frothing and losing control of his limbs and motor skills, so I turned him to his side to prevent choking (tongue slipping back etc).
I called 911 immediately after I had him lying head in lap and they said they would be there in a few minutes. As I was holding him in my lap, cleaning his face, a big burly fellow came up who I immediately became suspicious of. He called out in a loud voice "What the fucks wrong with him?" I told him he had a seizure and that he was fine and that the ambulance was coming. The fellow then began to interrogate me and the guy and then kicked the guy in the knee, saying that he was an EMS technician. I told the guy "to step the fuck away from us, before I get up and I kick you in the head." He continued to try to kick him and I had to jump up to push him away telling him "If you don't step away from us I WILL beat your fucking ass to the ground." He was obviously mentally unstable and had a wild look in his eyes. Funny, how first no one wants to help, then you get the "wrong" types of people trying to interfere. It's fucked up, I tell you. Thankfully the EMS team arrived and they began treatment on the fellow, whilst keeping the burly guy at bay.
They asked me a series of questions about what had happened and I told them he didn't hit the floor or get a concussion and that his eyes seemed dilated. It seems he was diabetic and his blood sugar was very low at 1.4. Your standard sugar level for most people should be between 4.0-6.0. Too low or too high could send you into shock if you are a diabetic (My mother is Type 2 diabetic).
I suppose this was all in a days work, but here is my question. Why do people stand around watching? What is with this culture of Bystander Apathy? What if he was having a heart attack, or started to choke on vomit, or fell back and hit his head on the cement? It's not brain science. If you see someone remotely looking like they are having trouble DO SOMETHING! I studied Psycholgy in University, and I realise that Bystander Apathy is a psychological phenomenon that happens when there are others present, but it pisses the fucking shit out of me when people decide to shift their social responsibility to assist others. We are human beings and compassion is something that should be shown at all times. If this had happened to me, I know I would want someone to assist. It wasn't like this fellow was dressed shabbily, or smelled of alcohol. Even if he was, who cares? We have a duty to help every person when we are faced with a situation to help.
Anyhow, I am glad he is ok, and was happy to note the one other fellow who came to hold the fellows head up as I went to push off the burly guy. There is hope I suppose. I am just fiercely angry at those people who walked by and ignored him, or gave him a dirty look.
Note to self: Go take a St. Johns Ambulatory First Aid course.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Me: Oh, hey dad. How are you?
Dad: Yeah. Ok, good. What do you want?
Me: Umm, I was calling to say hi...
Dad: Oh, ok. Hi.
Me: Uh, is Mom around? I wanted to give her an update on Kalyx.
Dad: No, mum's not here. She went out. Why? You better hurry up, cause I'm taking a shit.
Me: What? Well, why are you picking up the phone?
Dad: I thought it was mum.
Me: You take the phone with you into the bathroom?
Dad: No, I run out to get it.
Me: Oh gross Dad. OK, go. I am hanging up. Tell her to call me later.
There are very few things that disgust me, but imagining my father pinching a loaf and running into the living room, hunched over with his underwear at his feet is one that does.