Thursday, November 3, 2005

Parental Phone Calls: Part trois - Freedom 65

Both my parents are now 66 and retired about 5 years ago and the wonderful thing about my parents being retired is that they finally get the chance to relax and travel the world and do the things they always wanted to do. The bad part is that they get bored when they are in the city, calling several times a day to ask how I am or what I am doing. If my father calls to talk about my mother, my mother will then call me back to talk about my father, and vice versa.

I've written about these "unique conversations before here and here

My parents left for a 3 month trip to China in September and will also extend their travels to Australia and New Zealand. When they go on trips I rarely hear from them. Sort of like, Out of sight, out of mind. They just forget were here, but if we kids fail to call them, we hear no end of it. So I finally hear from them on Sunday.

ring ring
Me: Hello?
Dad (crackling in background): Hello?? It's Dad.
Me: HeyDad! How are you? How are things going?
Dad: I don't have much time. My card is running out so you have my number on your call display?
Me: Uh, yeah. So how are things?
Dad: So you have the number right? Don't lose it, ok?
Me: I have it, don't worry. So how are you and mum.
Dad: Good. Here.... (silence)
Me: Hello?......Heelloooooo?
Mum: Hello?
Me: Mum? oh, hi.
Mum: Hi! How's my doggie?
Me: She's fine (ahem) and so am I.
Mum: Oh, for goodness sakes! Your father always tells me to tell you something while I am trying to talk to you! Dad's tellling me something. Hold on.
Me: Mum, this is long distance and expensi....(dial tone)
Hang up

After 20 minutes I realise that "My card is running out so you have my number on your call display?" was actually my Dad's way of telling me to call him back.

Ring Ring

Mum: Hello?
Me: Hi Mum. We got cut off, so I wanted to call you back.
Mum: Good good. Have you seen your brother and his wife? They were both sick when they left us in Shanghai. You tell them to listen to what mother says and to visit that Chinese doctor. You know, I was coughing for so many months and then I went to see the Chinese doctor and then I was fine! Can you believe that? Isn't it great! But now I am here and it is very dusty in the apartment and we couldn't get a maid to help us clean and cook. Imagine that! Here in China, unable to find someone. So now I have to clean.
Me: Well, I will be sure to tell them to see your doctor. How's the family? How are the Great Aunties and Grandfather?
Mum: They all have full blown dementia. Poor things, they have all gone down hill in the last year.
Me: Oh, that's so sad.
Mum: By the way, check the Agenda Dad sent you. He keeps interrupting our chat to tell me to remind you that we're leaving Friday for Sydney. Which reminds me, how is my computer? Can I use it in Sydney?
Me: Umm, I have your new computer but haven't hooked it up at your place yet.
Mum: Did you get a new flat screen for me like you said you would for my birthday?
Me: Ah, not yet, but soon.
Mum: So I can't use my address book?
Me: Your address book? what do you mean?
Mum: How do I get on the Internet and send emails if you haven't put my computer stuff in the new one?
Me: You can't access your PC from Sydney, mum. You will use the PC or Internet service local to you in Sydney.
Mum: But, how do I know the email addresses of everyone I need to send to?
Me: Just go into your online address book like I showed you with your Yahoo account.
Mum: I don't understand. How can I do that if my computer is not set up properly.
Me: Mum, this is a very expensive call. Don't you think we should be talking about other things?
Mum: Ok. I guess I should let you go then. Give Kalyx my sweet puppy a hug and tell your silly brother to see the doctor.
Me: Ok. Bye. Love you and have fun.
Mum: Bye.

I love them like crazy, but imagine getting this type of call 3 times a week or more when they live in the city. Happy trip Mum and Dad! Enjoy your vacation, because I am.
:)

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Computer? I can't imagine my mother ever grasping that concept, ever, at all, not even the the tiniest bit.

Your parents crack me up. Enjoy your break!

EssentialStephen said...

Oh that so reminds me of my dad. He calls all the time for computer help. But even more so, he calls at least once a day just to say something random because he has tons of time on his hands...doesn't understand I might be busy, like commenting on blogs at work - he he he

epicurist said...

bugg - My mum and dad are actually pretty good at the computer, but they have a hard time grasping certain things.

alan - LOL, I had a similar discussion/argument with my father about email money transfers. He kept (and still) thinks that the money will go to his email and not his bank. (sigh)

Essential Stephen - Are you sure were all not sharing the same parents? LOL Gotta love them though.

Anonymous said...

My mother is nearly completely deaf in both ears. Telephone conversations are full-on shouting matches. The neighbours onced asked me if everything was alright.

The Raven said...

*LOL* parents and computers. Right now I work with computers and I detest it so bad that everyone has pretty much stopped asking me stuff (thank god, sort of like having a friend who is a doctor, they don't want to hear about your dad's hemmroids when you're out eating). My mom will call me up and say things sort of like your mom, like "Well if we get a new pc, how do I email people?" I try to explain how address books work, but she gets confused. Another one is "How do I get stuff from the old pc to the new one?" and I say to copy the data files, NOT the program files to CD, and that we have to reinstall the actual programs.

I can take that in stride, but at work, I have gotten so snappy when I ask a user what model PC they have and they say "Syn Master" uh, no. Try again. Or they say when I ask them to send their PC for repair: "So I just send the hard drive?" Yeah, sure go ahead and take the cover off, unscrew it and mail it to me!! And the one that has haunted me today regarding a user getting a loaner machine and needs to access her stuff in her server folder "I need my email, and my Excel" *SCREAM* EXCEL RUNS LOCALLY ON YOUR COMPUTER!! You want ACCESS to your FILES, I don't give a rip what program they are written in!!! *LOL* I am just a little annoyed with people today as I see I have to sit here another HOUR!!!;)

St. Dickeybird said...

Dear God! I can't imagine talking tech with my parents.
Shock, horror, then back to shock.
In other words, I sympathize.
:)

Pheebs said...

hahahaha!!! I love the posts where you re-cap the phone calls with your parents. My aunt is of the same sort as your parents--she works, but somehow still finds lots of time to be bored. This means many, many random calls on my cell phone...from Hong Kong.

Snooze said...

I love the fact that your mum asked about Kalyx first. That's too funny. But now listen you bad, ungrateful son... you should keep a stack of phone cards on hand so that you can call your parents and not worry about price, and I hope you wrote out detailed instructions and emailed them to your mother about how to access her webmail address book. Sheesh! She did go through labour for you, you know. ;-)

Greg the Surly said...

I too have tried explaining such things to my folks, they never seem to remember what I tell them anyway, so, I find it easier to just play along with thier imaginations. In all its misunderstood glory.

epicurist said...

mikevil - You poor thing, my grandfather is almost completely deaf and there is a long odd story surrounding that one, which I will save for my next installment. thanks for reminding me! :)

Raven - Oh my...I'm in I.T as well, and did the whole Support Customer Service stuff for a while as well. Thank god, I don't deal with customers anymore. Though you too have reminded me of some of the crazy questions I got during my time. That too shall be another installment.

Dickey - Hee hee, thanks. It does however provide plenty of wonderful Blog worthy ammo.

Pheebs - You should do what I do, just nod your head and say "uh huh, yeah" every few seconds, while watching tv.

A Lesbian in Los Angeles - Welcome ALILA! I've realised over time to just go with the flow and not get frustrated because the situations are always more than a bit comedic. Perfect to blog about.

Snooze - I am a bad son. Imagine your child writing about your parents technological naivete. My mum heard I wrote about her hairspray moment:
http://epicurist.blogspot.com/2005/08/memories-of-my-mother.html
and surprisingly was quite amused.

Greg - I thought YOU were the misunderstood glory!

Lee said...

Madness. Utter madness.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha I love your parents. They are a hoot. I kind of feel guilty though because when I call my parents I sometimes do ask about their (our family) puppy Hitoni before I ask about them.

It's so cool that your mother even knows what a flat screen is! My mom was okay with computers when we got our first one in 1987. It was an XT and ran Dos 1.0. She DETESTS and has some severe emotional responses to computers nowadays and just calls me up to look stuff up online for her now. Sometimes when she's here I even have to click through the web pages for her. But I do have a laptop so it's not quite so intuitive as a mouse.

The Catshark said...

LOL! Parents and computers! My dad just got DSL last week and was completely dumbfounded! As soon as the package arrived he was on the phone with me begging me to come over. He told me that his phoneline was cutting out and after he got of the phone with me he was going to call the phone company to report a disturbance on his phone line. I told him to wait until I got there before he made the complaint.

After I hooked everything up the correct way my folks were in awe at how much faster DSL was from AOL! But I still get the regular calls of how are we supposed to connect with the internet now? Or I can't get inside my email. My dads last question to me was how can he create the free web page that came with the DSL package. That will be my next long term project. Web site design for my parents! Gotta love em!

epicurist said...

Lee - vicodin and qualudes...vicodin and qualudes. Need I say more?

daelyn - Well, the pets are always first on our minds aren't they? I would do the same. Sadly, I was the one who suggested the LCD screen. She saw mine and wanted to know how I got my TV to work on my PC. That was a fun explanation.

Catshark - that is too funny! Have fun s'plainin' the web page concept. I feel for you.

Katerina Papadopoulos said...

ROFLMFAO!

I have old country parents who still can't even set up their own answering machine...nuff said.

entertaining eh?...LOL

our folks may come from 2 different countries, but are exactly the same in some ways....thanks for making me smile!

Jess said...

Yeah, parents can be interesting, to say the least.

My Mom used to call me every day, and we saw her all the time, since we lived pretty close to her.

Some days, when she was worried about something, she could call four or five times in one evening, to the point that I'd pretty much tell her to knock it off. Now, I was very, very close to my parents, and I had a wonderful relationship with them, but even someone you love with all your heart can get to be a pest.

Now, having lost her, I just wish I could hear her voice again. I don't feel guilty or anything--I just miss her. So, even if they make you roll your eyes sometimes, cherish them all the same. Life and the passage of time can be cruel, so enjoy every nutty moment while you can!

epicurist said...

Kat - hee hee...that is pretty funny as well, but you're quite right about all parents being somewhat similar.

Jess - I absolutely agree. As much as my parents can be "annoying", I still love them and enjoy the laughs they give me. They always remind me that they won't be around for much longer and that I should pay more special attention to them. Despite their ability to bestow guilt trips (a la Jewish style), they are probably right. Thanks for those words to live by Jess.

EarthMother said...

My God, I laughed while reading your post. It sounded in some ways like conversations I've had with my mom and dad.
I keep hoping that I won't torture my children in similar fashion one day. What is it with parents who feel compelled to call and check up on their kids so frequently? My MIL will call sometimes to make sure I've put out the garbage.