Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Busy week, so here is a photo update

Hi All,

I have been and will be terribly busy this week. If I do any blogging or commenting it will be at night or during the weekend. Since I don't have much time this week, I thought I'd share some new photos of my newly completed paintings, my new fish tank composition and of Kalyx (my dog). Hope you are all well and Happy Week to you all!

My 2 new paintings, with my new fish tank in front, on my new "old" 60's style credenza

My new fish tank

Kalyx sleeping like a baby

Kalyx sleeping on my bed and new sweater. She always does this, and has gotten into the habit of enjoying a well made bed.

Luckily she is cute. But getting the hair off my new sweater was a bit of a task.

The 2 Teddy's I bought Rib Breaker (Brown one smells like Chocolate which I gave him when he was sick).

Rib Breaker down with the Flu being comforted by Remi (the bear I gave him at Christmas)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Deciphering my fathers' message.

I just rang my father to tell him I had transferred some cash in to his account and this was our conversation:

(Phone ringing)
Dad: Yes.
Me: Whaa..? Hello?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Dad?
Dad: Yes.
Me: What are you doing? Why are you answering the phone like that?
Dad: Like what?
Me: What do you mean "Like What?" You just answered the phone by saying "Yes" instead of "Hello". Is this your new thing?
Dad: Yes.
Me: Dad, that's getting tiresome and annoying. Why are you doing that?
Dad: Because I don't know who you are.
Me: What do you mean you don't know who I am?
Dad (kissing teeth): Ay-ya, I don't know who you are when you call me and the phone is ringing. No caller I.D..
Me: Dad, you are progressively making less sense. Do I need to send a doctor over to check your head?
Dad: No. I am good. I just don't know who is calling.
Me (shaking head with frustration): So get caller I.D. I have no idea where you are going with this.
Dad: Ay- ya, I just don't like when people call and don't say anything.
Me: Dad, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about now. How can someone say something to you, when you haven't said "hello" first to initiate the call? You have totally lost me.
Dad: People call all the time and don't say anything. I hate it. So now I say "Yes."
Me (shaking head in frustration): Are you getting crank callers?
Dad: No, I just don't know who they are and they don't say anything.
Me: Wha...? Forget it. So this is not a joke? Your being serious?
Dad: Yes.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Rolling and Rollicking in Bed

I realise that in having written 2 blogs (consecutively) about stories involving Mary Jane, that I am beginning to sound a bit like Harold from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. I'm honestly not quite that far yet. But since I'm now on the topic, I had mind as well share another story that occurred last night prior to bed.

I had gone to take my shower as per my nightly beauty ritual. Trust me, I look not only scary and freakish without hairspray, gel and contacts, but I am also the epitomy of a geeky looking F.O.B (Fresh Of the Boater) when I don't doll myself up to go out. One day, if I feel brave enough I will post a picture of the Before and After for you all to laugh at.

Anyhow, upon my return to the bedroom, Rib Breaker already had a rolled dessert for us to share. Our darling pooch, Kalyx was grunting at us as we giggled at her brazeness for taking it upon herself to jump into my bed. She is 14 years old, going on 15, and in her golden years she is realising that we are much more forgiving when it comes to breaking of the rules. As we smoked and watched Tele, we soon got into a tickling match with Rib Breaker being the Tickled, and I the Tickler. Rib Breaker doubly laughed and screamed for me to stop, but I was persistent, indicating that I was doing him a favour by releasing endorphins and making him happy. It wasn't long before both of us were laughing hysterically, which required a moments respite. Goofing off and acting like children takes a lot of energy and we were both out of breath.

A few minutes later I found myself trying to remember our topic of conversation just 5 minutes prior. If any of you fellow bloggers know anything about rolled desserts, you will also be familiar with sudden forgetfulness, or derailed thoughts. This is an anatomy of our conversation:

RB (looking at me quizzically): What are you doing?
Me (deep in thought): Umm, trying to remember something. What were we talking about a moment ago?
RB: When?
Me: Just a few minutes ago. We were laughing about something really hard a few minutes ago.
RB: Where?
Me: Duh! Here, obviously!
RB: I dunno. How long ago?
Me: Geez, I'm so fucked. I can't even remember what we were laughing about 5 minutes ago.
RB: Oh, you were tickling me!
Me (irritated) : No No... Just before that.
RB (giggling) : Oh, I don't remember anything before that!

(giggling and laughter ensues)

Thirty minutes later, we were ready for bed and were lying cuddled in each others arms. I admit I've never been much of a cuddler as I get very hot, very quickly and tend to move around a lot finding my exact positinon of comfort, but RB loves to cuddle, and that's good enough for me. Ten minutes into our cuddling, my mind had begun to wander and I again was wondering what it was that we were laughing about, when it finally hit me that the dog had been throwing us "Tude" for getting on the bed and taking up her precious space. This of course, sent me into convulsive giggling which apparently became contagious for RB. Sadly, it took both of us close to 20 mnutes to stop.

We can be such idiots at times, but I will tell you one thing, I'd rather be an idiot than boring and dour. Laughter truly is the best medicine and both RB and I approach our relationship in a rather childish and humourous way. It works well for us and I try not to take myself too seriously. Happiness and laughter seem to go hand-in-hand and I definitely love seeing him smile.

Saturday, February 18, 2006


seems like i was not safe. finally caught up. uggh. sick. too tired to post. can't eat drnk think or type. stomach flu bites.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Cutesey Pukey Valentines

Being the shit disturber sort that I am, I decided to switch things around and up, on this whole Valentines business. So on Monday, I went and purchased a dozen yellow oceanic roses for Rib Breaker and took him out for a nice dinner. We both agreed that it was far better than going out on February 14, watching couples eat in crowded restaurants. It's really not my type of thing, nor is it his. Besides, in all the rush, I was rather paranoid that the restaraunt chefs would be in such a tizzy that the food would be half cooked and we'd get food poisoning.

So, in our casual style, we stayed in on Heart day and Rib Breaker decided he wanted to order pizza and watch Tele. After eating, Rib Breaker rolled a dessert for us which we promptly smoked. It had been a long arduous day and I wanted to wash away all memory of it, so I decided to jump in the shower. A few minutes later, as I was washing my hair, I heard Rib Breaker come in the washroom talking loudly. Peering through my suds, this was the following conversation:

RB (Talking on cellular speakerphone): ...Hey, it's me! I'm talking on the phone, but not sure if you can hear me cause I got this thing on Speakerphone. It's so cool. I just found it, but don't know how to turn it off.
Me: What? Are you talking to me?
RB (looking at me and grinning): ...And Epicurist and I were just wondering what you were up to this weekend and were thinking of going to....
Me (washing shampoo out): Who the Hell are you talking to? I'm taking a shower you know?

Of course I recieved no answer. Rib Breaker had already exited the bathroom, but reappeared an instant later and comes up to the shower door and peers in grinning at me.

Me: Huh? What's up? Who were you talking to?
RB (opening shower door a bit): Oh, it was Scott.
Me: And?
RB (opening door wider and slowly getting into shower): Oh, I just wanted to call and say hi and I found the Speaker phone thing on the cell, which is really cool, but I'm not sure I did it right. You didn't tell me you could do that!
Me: I guess I forgot about the feature. Anyhow, so what is he up to?
RB: Oh, I was asking him if he wanted to go that Hotel club thingie that you mentioned last time. What's the place called?
Me: Umm, the Gladstone?
RB: Yeah! That's it. I was asking him if he wanted to do that sometime.
Me: Ok. And what did he say?
RB: Oh, I dunno yet. It was his voicemail, so I was leaving a message.
Me: And you had to come into the bathroom while I was showering to tell him that?
RB (grinning sheepishly): Oh, I guess I was kinda telling you too.
Me (stopping and looking at RB oddly): Ok....ummm. What are you doing?
RB: What?
Me: Well, you're just standing there at the end of the tub. Did you come in here to take a shower or just to tell me about the speakerphone and phonecall?
RB (looking around sheepishly and laughing): Oh...umm...just to talk to you.
Me: Sometimes, you are just too damned cute. Do you know that?

Honestly, it's these small quirky things that he does that makes me love him even more. Unfortunately, the cuteness wore off at 2am when Rib Breaker started to get violently ill, throwing up and running to the porcelain throne. We're not clear if it's food poisoning or the Stomach flu, but the poor boy had his head in the toilet most of the evening with me by his side. It wasn't the Valentines Day I had planned, and I'm tired from lack of sleep, so I am taking my leave now. Gotta go home to rub my boys tummy.

P.S. I am really busy at work right now so just want all you beautiful souls to know that I haven't forsaken or forgotten you. I hope to catch up on reading posts over the week or weekend. Cheers!

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Baking, Toking & Technology

marijuana browniesLast night after dinner, Rib Breaker and I decided to smoke a joint, relax and make some "brownies". The tele was on, and I was watching American Idol, as Rib Breaker did all the work in the kitchen. To be honest, I'm not much of a baker, so I leave that to him. I just take advantage of the wholesome delicious goods that he bakes.

As he was puttering about the kitchen he was also tinkering with his new/old phone. A good friend of Rib Breakers just got a new Motorola Razr phone, so he decided to give Rib Breaker his old Motorloa V555. The cell phone, is still quite new and has all the new fandangled toys on it like a camera and multimedia stuff. Rib Breaker being the technical neophyte that he is, has been playing with it and trying to figure it out. Not to add injury to insult, but whenever I give him a technical toy to play with he reminds me of my dog Kalyx, trying to figure out how to get a cookie out of a jar. It just isn't natural for him, but he gets great enjoyment out of it, and always boasts gleefully once he's figured out the connundrum. Anyhow, Rib Breaker decided to make a call to my friend who he was sharing the brownies with and needed the phone number. This was the conversation that followed:

Me: It's 555-1234
RB (after some fumbling): Um, ok. But I want to add him to my phonebook, so wait one sec.
Me: Uh huh.
RB (with raised eyebrow): Ok, I'm in the phonebook. It says Name.
Me: Yeah? So, put in his name.
RB (keying in name, while mocking my sarcasm): "Yeah..so put in his name.." nah naah naaah naaah.
ME: Well, you ask stupid questions, you get a stupid response. Did you put his name in?
RB (smiling and giggling at phone): Oh cool, this phone will suggest names and words for you.
Me (rolling eyes): Um, yeah, really cool. You might want to know he spells his name with a G and not a J.
RB: Crap. I gotta erase and change it.
Me: Are you done yet? You've already taken 5 minutes just to enter his first name.
RB: Shuddup! It's asking for his last name.
Me: It's spelled Xxxxxxx.
RB (Keying in name): Ok. Done. It's asking me to record a Voice Name. What's that?
Me: You record his name in your voice. It's a feature on the phone, where you just say the name and it will call the person, but I never really use it. It'll take you forever to set it up, I bet.
RB: Oh Cool. Should I use his full name?
Me: Whatever tickles your fancy Rib Breaker.
RB (into phone): "George"*
RB (into phone): "Yes"
RB (into phone): "Yes!"
RB (into phone): "No!"
RB (pouting): It's not recording it properly.
Me: Turn the TV off and try it again. Maybe it's the background noise.
RB (puts tele on mute and speaks into phone loudly): "Geooorrgge"
RB (into phone): "YES"
RB (into phone): "YES!!"
RB (into phone): "NO!"
RB: It's still not working!
Me: Will you just say the name normally? You don't have to stress every letter and syllable unless you plan on saying his name like that ALL the time.
RB (into phone): "GEORGE!"
RB (into phone): "YES!"
RB (into phone): "YES!!!"
RB (into phone): "For Fucksake, NOOOOO!"
RB (into phone): "GEORGE"
RB (into phone): "YES!!"
RB (into phone): "YES!!"
RB (into phone): "Fuck, finally, YES!!"
pot brownies
I tried to keep a straight face but it was just way too funny. I honestly need to record these events on camera, so that I can do the moment justice.

* Identities have been protected.

The brownies by the way are delicious.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

The Taste of Love

Last night, as we were preparing for bed, Rib Breaker decided to pump up his chest and declare that he was now stronger than me. He's been working out, and apparently has this lofty idea that it has made a difference. This escalated and led to a childish wrestling match where I won (as per usual), but in retaliation Rib Breaker decided to bite me. Since, I was on top of him, I threw the blanket off of him and bit him on his arse...little did I know that he had left a fragrant surprise under the covers for me, which clung to my face and taste buds.

We laughed hysterically, but trust me my blogger friends, revenge will be even sweeter tonight!