Monday, October 31, 2005

Beware the Rat Monster Man...thing...

I laughed my ass off, and if you need to relieve some tension, Click on the picture.



Just hearing about it makes me angry and frustrated. I can't even imagine what the people there are feeling. It's high time that both the Aboriginal Nations (Indian Affairs) and the Federal and Provincial governments get off their asses and do something about the failure and problems on Native Reserves. You wonder why suicide, alcoholism and general malaise is so rife on reserves and it comes down to a few things (in my mind).

No where to go
Nothing to do
No training
No jobs
No economic viable industry
No morale
No support (from government and society)
No sense of accomplishment
Loss of pride
Loss of culture

When you are placed on a piece of land with nothing to help facilitate growth, industry or economic stability, what do you expect the people to do? An old friend of mine who is from the Mohawk Nation told me once that the First Nations people feel as though they are a forgotten people, with more stereotypes against them than any other Race or cultural group. We had an interesting debate about that and I am torn and on the fence. I can remember being unemployed for 3 months, looking for a job in Toronto and feeling like crap, but I had the opportunity to go to many employers and also have a solid educational background. Imagine when you have nothing. And then you get people making dumb ass comments that Natives are drunks and druggies and lazy.

I've been busy and have lots to say but have been too busy so will try to catch up later. Hope everyone is well, and have a Happy Hall'o'ween!

Funny Picture - Naughty Halloween Costume

Thursday, October 27, 2005

What's been up with me: short version

I know, I know. I've been a bad neighbour in the Blogdom Kingdom. So to catch up, here are some things going on with me:
  1. I am getting my piano tuned right now. RB went and called a Tuner company 2 weeks ago, because he heard me yammering about how the piano was so out of tune that when I played a piece, it sounded like a different song. Song-yee (the tuner man) started to laugh at how badly out of tune it was. He did a few scales and played a bit, and I realise I need to go take lessons again.
  2. RB started to move a few things into the place, and we have made some decisions to get rid of unnecessary clutter. On my way out to get coffee I dropped of a few old blankets (washed) and left them by a man sleeping at College/Yonge. I am sure he can use them.
  3. I still have my cough/cold from 2 weeks ago, so have been absent and rather remiss with my postings.
  4. I have been watching Weeds from Showcase (US). It is on Wednesday's at 10pm. I seriously recommend this show...and I don't EVER like many shows.
  5. Don't ever eat at Red Lobster. It's disgusting and really salty and oily. I felt like I was eating a bag of salt soaked in butter.
  6. Lots of new ideas for personal artistic development, which I hope to actually start in the next week or so. I never thought I would get back into Canvas or sketch work, but it seems I am developing a new desire to do so. I stopped doing anything for about 8 years because I had no passion or artistic creativity, and I always said I would never do any work that didn't involve some passion in it. Just seems rather disingenuous to do so.
  7. The Company has just purchased a large piece of Real Estate in butt-fuck no where and everyone is concerned that we are being moved there. It currently takes a 15 minute wlk for me to get to work. This new location would have me travelling over 1 hour plus, via Public Transportation.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Ad nauseam

Not everything is as it seems on this World Wide Web. Nobody is as they appear to be. Some people seem to have a need to make themselves out to be something greater or bigger than they are, when in fact I am sure they would be just fine if they were themselves. I can understand the occassional embellishment of a story or an authors poetic license, but this is just unmistakably wrong.

I, and many of you fellow readers had befriended "Joel" from Priori Ad Lib, who we read on a regular basis. His words flowed with poetic warmth, and he touched us with his incredible insight into the world around him as he suffered through a recurrence of his Leukemia. I won't drag on about the details, but Joel is in effect no more. In fact "Joel" never was. It seems that he was a figment of someone's imagination and that nearly all the poetry and writings from his site were plagiarised.

Sadly, this was brought to my attention by a very kind soul who had gone to visit "Joel" at the Vancouver General Hospital, which "Joel" had invited him to do. Upon his arrival, he was astonished to find out that "Joel" never existed nor was anyone of his description ever an in or out-patient. Why someone would invite a fellow blogger to meet a fictional individual is beyond me. Did they not see that the final outcome would not be good? It took quite a bit of sleuthing, but it seems even the name and people and stories he seemed to captivate us with, were taken from other people's lives and blogs. Early on in our blogdom relationship, I had a brush of doubt when reading one of apriori adlib's posts, but that may simply be my ego or pride kicking in that I should have known earlier. Though it did surprise myself and others that despite all his "accidents" and cancer that he was formidably upbeat and strong.

I feel a resounding pang of sadness and anger that someone would go to such lengths to manipulate our humanistic need for empathy and sympathy. So many of us could relate to Joel, whether it was a friend, family member or ourselves that had cancer or some disease that affected our lives. I have been ruminating about the purpose of the Blog, and can think of a few:
  • maybe he did exist and was being remembered by a family or friend who couldn't let go.
  • maybe this was a test, like those reality shows, to see what the human capacity was to feel empathy, care and love.
  • maybe it was a lonely individual who needed attention, and did whatever they could at the expense of others to get some semblance of attention.
  • maybe the person was simply a pathological liar.
Funny enough, when you look at the definition of A priori ad lib(itum) this is what you get:

A priori means "'From the former' — presupposed, the reverse of a posteriori. Used in mathematics, philosophy and logic to denote something that is known or postulated before a proof has been carried out." (wikepedia)

ad libitum means "'According to one's pleasure' — Latin ad, according to + libitum, past participle of libre, to please. Often used to indicate the liberty to "improvise", "just ramble on"; especially in music, theatrical scripts, etc..." (wikepedia).

Put the 2 together and you get "to postulate and improvise from the Former" (or something close to it. I am not a Latin major, so humour me). After that definition I am more apt to believe that this was an experiment to see how far a lie could go before it was unwound. An attempt to carry out a project to see if people would blindly trust or actually look for empirical data to back up the postulated theory.

In anycase, the site is now defunct and removed, but a fellow blogger who was so incensed by what "Joel" had done, has now posted A priori Adlibs last few blog posts here.

Karma can kinda be a bitch that way.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Not just the Season is changing...

Sorry boys and girls, but I've been pretty busy of late. The weather has changed and one can feel the cool, crisp nip in the air. Gone are the summer days of shorts and T-shirts - you can now find me in a warm sweater, strolling the leaf covered streets of Toronto, likely coughing and sneezing. Yes, last week I came down with the dreaded flu and a nasty cough and cold, which had me whimpering like a little nelly school boy. That fine phlegm has finally begun to clear it's way through my nasal cavaties. Your'e welcome for the visual.

Life otherwise has been moving along with some added momentum. Rib Breaker and I have been communicating a lot over the last few weeks, sharing what it is that we want in our lives and relationship. There was a patch a month ago that made our relationship a bit stressful and uncertain. It had arisen from RB's general malaise and lack of communication. I had a long chat with him when it was happening and said some very brutally honest things, that essentially revolved around him taking responsibility for his life. I essentially told him that "there is a point in your life where you have to buck up and take life by it's balls. Be a Man and stop running away from your issues and problems and face them head on. Trust yourself and have faith that you can do whatever you set your mind to. I believe in you and your potential, now you need to as well. Just do it. Don't complain about it, because you won't get any sympathy from me if you don't at least put a foot forward and try." I also told him that I was looking for an equal in a relationship, someone who could support me emotionally, mentally and financially as much as I would of them.

It all hit him pretty hard and he left to ruminate about it, and came back a new person. The change has been phenomenal and with this renewed sense of self, he and I are now talking about the big "M" word....

Moving In.

Please people, I'm crazy, but not that crazy. So, no. Not Marriage. I am far too rational and cautious to jump into anything without first dissecting everything and having a discussion about it. RB is not a man of many words and can find this a bit challenging to say the least. He is, however, an intelligent man and has made the mental calculation and sees, or at least has seen the benefits of communication in our relationship...

More SEX

Yes, it sounds crude, but RB is a simple man who equates much of his happiness to the satiation of 2 things his Mojo, and his stomach. I get my happiness from (amongst many other things) knowing what is happening in life and having the ability to communicate about things. So, I am conditioning him with positive reinforcement. With good communication and good relations he gets more booty. simple. done. finis.

RB has already in essence been living with me for nearly a year, whilst holding his own flat on the East end. If all works well, and we don't chicken out, he will give up his place and move his cute little ass into my place. Lots to discuss still, and a lot of change is happening. It's all a bit scary, but at the same time refreshing and exhilarating. I have never been in a relationship past 6-8 months, nor have I ever shared so much of my time and life with someone, so this is rather an interesting stage in my life.

Change is's what I keep telling myself.

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Dentist Stories

I went for my regular 3 month cleaning today. My dental hygienist, Paul, seriously cracks me up. He seems to have this uncanny ability to continue his conversation where he previously left off. In fact, so do all of his assistants. I find that a little disturbing.

I’ll sit in the chair and the 2 will start asking me about things that I know have happened to me, but have forgotten that I shared with them. Lets just say, I have the worse memory you can imagine, and leave it at that. I could meet you, and talk to you for 2 hours, and one hour later, I’ll forget your name.
One week later I’ll forget what we talked about.
Two weeks later, I will have forgotten how we met.
Two months later, I will have forgotten any association I have to you.

Anyhow, I realise that during my cleaning appointments, I have a tendency to babble on about my life – things that seem normal and natural to me, but when taken out of my world are bizarre. It seems these “bizarre” and “funny’ stories are the only reasons why these people remember me. It’s not my charming good looks or my fabulous teeth, it’s my weird-ass anecdotes about my family and friends or my experiences that they associate to me.

“Oh hey, it’s Alex. The I.T guy whose parents show up at his home unannounced waiting for him to return so that they wave to him from his twelfth floor condo unit, so that he knows that they are there.” No need to call, just show up and wave!

It really is a feat, how they get all this information out of me. I find it odd that they can consistently talk and ask questions while they have all these objects, tools and hands in my mouth.
What’s even more odd, is I answer them.
I'm glad I can entertain them so much as my gums bleed.