I went for my regular 3 month cleaning today. My dental hygienist, Paul, seriously cracks me up. He seems to have this uncanny ability to continue his conversation where he previously left off. In fact, so do all of his assistants. I find that a little disturbing.
I’ll sit in the chair and the 2 will start asking me about things that I know have happened to me, but have forgotten that I shared with them. Lets just say, I have the worse memory you can imagine, and leave it at that. I could meet you, and talk to you for 2 hours, and one hour later, I’ll forget your name.
One week later I’ll forget what we talked about.
Two weeks later, I will have forgotten how we met.
Two months later, I will have forgotten any association I have to you.
Anyhow, I realise that during my cleaning appointments, I have a tendency to babble on about my life – things that seem normal and natural to me, but when taken out of my world are bizarre. It seems these “bizarre” and “funny’ stories are the only reasons why these people remember me. It’s not my charming good looks or my fabulous teeth, it’s my weird-ass anecdotes about my family and friends or my experiences that they associate to me.
“Oh hey, it’s Alex. The I.T guy whose parents show up at his home unannounced waiting for him to return so that they wave to him from his twelfth floor condo unit, so that he knows that they are there.” No need to call, just show up and wave!
It really is a feat, how they get all this information out of me. I find it odd that they can consistently talk and ask questions while they have all these objects, tools and hands in my mouth.
What’s even more odd, is I answer them.
I'm glad I can entertain them so much as my gums bleed.
25 comments:
How Funny. I especially like the part about the parents. It still boggles me how dentists understand what you say when you reply.
i went to the dentist after *gasp* 7 years, and the hygenist was asking me stuff from then. it's freaky. possibly part of their training.
At least your stories are the reason people remember you.
I'm "that guy with the cool shoes."
LOL! I just saw my dentist the other day and he had a lovely drill in my mouth and wanted me to talk about my vacation plans for the midwest. I can't believe he understood all the gurgles!
greg - The parent part is 100% true. sad I realise. And I also have no idea how they understand. Years of practice, I guess.
mainja - 7 years??
dickey - I suppose, but I get introduced to everyone this way, even when I bump into them at a restaurant or bar after work. It's crazy I tell you!
catshark - I think Mainja has the right idea. It must be in their training.
That happens to me when I randomly go back to my pediatrician. The nurse just looks at me and recalls everything about me, my life, and my family.
It makes me wonder if they implanted some sort of tracking device under my skin when I wasn't looking.
You are much friendlier than I am--when I am having a service performed on me (ie. haircuts, dentist, spa days...), I want to be lost in my own world thinking or reading about whatever, uninterrupted!!
Maybe you're at the same dentist I am--they do the exact same thing to me--they'll ask me how my classes are going, how my degree went, if I'm moved home yet...I swear they write these details in your file when you leave...
Ack. I have to go do my (oft postponed) cleaning on the 15th or so. *cries* I am flossing like a mad woman lately. You DO have the funniest stories. It's like my coworkers at my last job, they never asked me about the boring stuff, just wanted to know what was going in my wierd bi poly life because they could live vicariously through me. Also I had to explain to them how to use tampons (they were very sheltered).
Just don't tell your hygienist's anything TOO scandalous while they have the especially pointy things in your mouth :D
I have the very same "forgetting" disease. I've had people come up to me and talk to me like they know me (er, cuz they do) and I have zero recollection of ever having met them.
Maybe there's a quirky dentist's blog somewhere where we could answer some of these mysteries...
Think they're making notes after you leave, so they can study before your next visit? :)
Talking at the dentist can be a challenge. Last time I went my regualr girl was out that day, I was lost...no one to talk to.
i'm so behind on commenting ...
hey, speaking of a good teeth cleaning.. i love it. i feel so refreshed after a dental visit. of course, i some would say i have a mild obsession with good oral hygiene but would that be so bad??
So, should I begin this comment by re-introducing myself in case you've forgotten who I am?
It just occurred to me ... my mom is a dentist and we have always had a difficult time communicating. Maybe I could have resolved some of our issues if I'd just spent more time in her chair with cotton wadding and a rubber dam in my mouth?
Jase - ummm, you still go see your pediatrician?
Sister - I suppose I don't mind since they are all amusing and quite the characters.
Pheebs - I gotta agree about themassage and spa treatments though. Anything that is supposed to be relaxing and refreshing should be chat free.
Daelyn - You had to explain how to use tampons to your colleagues? These were women? Even I know how to use a tampon...ughh, i wish I hadn't just said that.
ethan - wham bam thank you ma'am!
tornwordo - I am looking for these unique dentist blogs...can't find them, so I guess the mystery lingers.
jess - I sometimes wonder. It's a little unnerving.
coffee - just think, a whole new audience to test your act with. :)
myke - No, oral hygeine is nt bad. I wish more people would have the same obsession.
EM - :) I know who you are, no need for re-intros. That scenario doesn't sound particularly pleasant.
These were women, yes.
No wonder they remember you - sexy and funny. You even have nice teeth. Yes, I bet you're a dentist's dream.
It's gotta be the lung-bucket-fulls of laughing gas you keep inhaling. Silly boy loves the gas, I don't blame you. Pass knotty the mask will ya?
k
hmm... I think Epi forgot he has a blog.
My dentist remember me because I am the one that keeps getting up due to anxiety. Last time I was in (Oh about 5 years ago) they gave me the gas for a filling because I was a "threat to my own safety & theirs" *LOL*
hehe
If it was ME having that conversation at the dentist, I think it would sound something like:
"O heh, iss Awex. De I.T guy whos pawent ssshow uh at hiss hoe unannouwsed waiting fo hih to weturn sho dat day way to hih froh hish twefh fhloh condo unit, sho dat he knoes dat day ahh dair."
daeyln - please don't tell me you had to show them as well! lol
snooze - more like goofy, nerdy and weird. ;-p
knotty - You know I loves me some gas!
surly greg - I haven't forgotten Tea Queen, just was busy blowing and coughing my brains out...back now.
Raven - good god, you know valium and vicodin can help with that. hee hee
CTS - I seem to get that a lot...I wonder why?
Dantallion - hmmm, I think we need to enlist you in Juste pour rire!
That's such a funny story. I've had the same dentist since I started rinsing with flouride. Yick! It's great to see him, though I still feel like a loser, since I still get cavities now and again. Don't those go away with zits? hehe
ah yes... the dental confessional. those nosy bastards get my darkest secrets out of me... how do they do that!?
How funny! I remember my brother who used to answer the dentist's questions with enthusiasm despite his bleeding gum. That was yesterday when we visited our best family dentist Hattiesburg M.S. area service provider.
The friendly dentist Hattiesburg practitioner is really entertained in his stories. I laughed with them, too while waiting. Thanks for the interesting post, Alex! It's really entertaining.
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