Monday, October 17, 2005

Not just the Season is changing...

Sorry boys and girls, but I've been pretty busy of late. The weather has changed and one can feel the cool, crisp nip in the air. Gone are the summer days of shorts and T-shirts - you can now find me in a warm sweater, strolling the leaf covered streets of Toronto, likely coughing and sneezing. Yes, last week I came down with the dreaded flu and a nasty cough and cold, which had me whimpering like a little nelly school boy. That fine phlegm has finally begun to clear it's way through my nasal cavaties. Your'e welcome for the visual.

Life otherwise has been moving along with some added momentum. Rib Breaker and I have been communicating a lot over the last few weeks, sharing what it is that we want in our lives and relationship. There was a patch a month ago that made our relationship a bit stressful and uncertain. It had arisen from RB's general malaise and lack of communication. I had a long chat with him when it was happening and said some very brutally honest things, that essentially revolved around him taking responsibility for his life. I essentially told him that "there is a point in your life where you have to buck up and take life by it's balls. Be a Man and stop running away from your issues and problems and face them head on. Trust yourself and have faith that you can do whatever you set your mind to. I believe in you and your potential, now you need to as well. Just do it. Don't complain about it, because you won't get any sympathy from me if you don't at least put a foot forward and try." I also told him that I was looking for an equal in a relationship, someone who could support me emotionally, mentally and financially as much as I would of them.

It all hit him pretty hard and he left to ruminate about it, and came back a new person. The change has been phenomenal and with this renewed sense of self, he and I are now talking about the big "M" word....

Moving In.

Please people, I'm crazy, but not that crazy. So, no. Not Marriage. I am far too rational and cautious to jump into anything without first dissecting everything and having a discussion about it. RB is not a man of many words and can find this a bit challenging to say the least. He is, however, an intelligent man and has made the mental calculation and sees, or at least has seen the benefits of communication in our relationship...

More SEX

Yes, it sounds crude, but RB is a simple man who equates much of his happiness to the satiation of 2 things his Mojo, and his stomach. I get my happiness from (amongst many other things) knowing what is happening in life and having the ability to communicate about things. So, I am conditioning him with positive reinforcement. With good communication and good relations he gets more booty. simple. done. finis.

RB has already in essence been living with me for nearly a year, whilst holding his own flat on the East end. If all works well, and we don't chicken out, he will give up his place and move his cute little ass into my place. Lots to discuss still, and a lot of change is happening. It's all a bit scary, but at the same time refreshing and exhilarating. I have never been in a relationship past 6-8 months, nor have I ever shared so much of my time and life with someone, so this is rather an interesting stage in my life.

Change is good...it's what I keep telling myself.

23 comments:

congeewoo said...

congratulations!!! i hope he's a good roomie, it's nice to have someone to come home. good for you!

CoffeeDog said...

wow that's great! good for you to stand up and draw the line for communication

myke said...

good for you. sounds most positive. gives me hope for the future.

St. Dickeybird said...

Good for you! If you never take risks like moving in together, you'll never know the happiness of seeing it work out.
As for the 'more sex', we need more detail. With lots of adjectives.

Jase said...

Danger Will Robinson!

Okay, I'm just teasing. :) I've also never seen an episode of 'Lost in Space', and the movie sucked as I recall.

Congrats! What a momentus occasion! I can't wait to hear *those* stories. ;)

Btw, I really thought you were crazy enough to mean the other 'M'.

EssentialStephen said...

Good for you. Glad you guys are making progress. The moving in situation is almost identical to how Andy and I progressed. He pretty much lived at my place and then we finally made the plunge - and it has been great. One word of advice though, make sure that he is moving in and allowed half the decisions about things like decorating, etc. It is only fair and makes the new place both of yours and not him living in YOUR place. I made that very explicit with Andy and he appreciated it and felt right at home because of it. Now of course, we have moved to the next step where we really get OUR place and bought something new together.

epicurist said...

spoony - It is very nice to have someone to come home to, thanks!

CoffeeDog - Thanks! It was a big stipulation for me, for things to move forward. Now he won't shutup! ;-p

Russ - hmmm, good idea!

myke - ::grin:: If there was hope for tragic me, then there is hope for everyone. Trust me on that one! lol

Dickey - That is so true isn't it? As fore more sex details...I think I will save Russ and my other straight friends from the horrors of my licentious lifestyle. ::grin::

Jase - I am sure there will be plenty of stories..lol

And thanks, crazy is as crazy does.

Essential - You're absolutely correct! I have told RB to do what he wishes so long as he keeps things tidy, but he tends to leave that stuff for me to do, as he doen't particularly care. His flat at the moment looks like a Frat boys dorm room that houses 6 drunken college students.

Greg the Surly said...

Epi: Nothing more peaceful than living in Sin. Congratz. Amazing how much nicer things can be with a bot of communication eh? (hehe, I sound canadian) jk

epicurist said...

You're not Canadian? Get out of my blogdom! lol! j/k. You can stay, so long as you stay witty and scathingly funny, which of course you are.

Anonymous said...

Well its "aboot" [I just had to one-up Greg the Surly] time you both took the next step! epers, if it feels right go with it. You're still being cautious and I adore you for it. We are so similar! And that whole positive-reinforcement concept... fooking brilliant!

Anonymous said...

congratulations! it is so exciting. not to sound too much like a mom or anything but be mindful that he will want to make it feel like his place too instead of just your place that he moved into. that can cause a little upheaval. best wishes!

epicurist said...

Bees - I can be as cautious as a tight rope walker, and then I shock myself by roller skating through a China shop singing at the top odf my lungs. ;p

Bugg - Agreed. Essential Stephen gave me the same sage advice, adn I am happy so long as he keeps the place tidy and clean. ;)

Christopher said...

Being single aint always that bad...

dantallion said...

After that, I feel the overwhelming urge to go out and buy some Nikes.

It all sounds pretty good to me, Epi. Good on you. Both.

Snooze said...

[breaks out the champagne] Here's to you both!

Anonymous said...

Heh. Love how you're so clear about that carrot ;-) But I think you'll do fine. And congrats on this big move!

Jess said...

Change is good and so is having someone special to share your days. I'm happy for you that things seem to be going well.

mainja said...

i have nothing to add to the comments about the post, everyone's said it already.

but i have a comment about the comments.

do you know anyone who says aboot not about?

The Raven said...

Moving in....to me, that is as scary as Marriage!;) I am glad things are going well for you two. I have a roommate, and it is PERFECT because there is someone there when I want to talk, and I do a lot of that, yet we have our own space since we are just friends/roommates. I have an issue of getting sick of guys very fast. I mean it's like running hot and cold...one day they are just the shit, the next day I don't want them in my site!

epicurist said...

Sister - I was wearing a turtle neck the other day...scary huh?

Christopher - I completely agree. I loved being single and this is quite new to me.

Dantallion - Nike's? To run away or after someone? And thanks.

Snooze - I might need something stronger than that. LOL

Daelyn - the Carrot? Is that code talk?

Jess - It's a big change for me, and RB has already moved a few things in. Now we just go with the flow.

mainja - I don't, unless they are from the Interior BC, or on television parodying us.

Raven - Trust me, I agree. I can be the same way, but thankfully we get along very well.

The Catshark said...

Woo hoo! Congrads! Im at the point in my life where I just got over a relationship. Not bad nor good the whole thing was just one of those lessons in life. The guy did happen to get jealous though after we parted our ways. The good thing about the whole ordeal is we were able to repair a friendship that has been around for 14 years.

But I truly hopes this works out well for you! :)

Pheebs said...

I, too, am in the same place--I'm not not necessarily the longest relationship ever but it has been the most successful so far. The prospect of moving in together has also presented itself, unlike all the other guys before him too and it terrifies me too--but I guess that's how you know what you have now is right, at least in the moment. If it's scary but you haven't run for the hills yet, it's a good-scary...

epicurist said...

Catshark - I guess everything is a life experience and lesson and that's how both RB and I are treating it. Never know if anything is forever, but were sticking to each other like a rat on glue...and see what happens.
:)

Pheebs - Amen sistuh! It's all new to me and totally crazy, but fun and exciting. Good luck with your man as well!