I have been in a foul mood for the last 4 days, and admittedly, those around me are getting the brunt of it. This is the reason why I have been avoiding everyone - not wanting to be nasty or say something inappropriate. This mood is an aberration from my usual upbeat self, but I think I have been beating myself over the head with it, believing I should be the usual chipper, funny self that I am. I suppose everyone is entitled to a few "off" or "bitch" days. Many of you have taught me that it is okay to do this. It's only human.
All of this I suppose is a direct result of recent medical results regarding my back and leg. It's been an ongoing thing for more than a decade, and the frustration is growing. In my late teens and early 20's I complained to my doctors that I was experiencing a lot of back pains and they simply shrugged it off as over-activity or due to sports. No tests were done, and I was too young to know the difference. The pain increased over the years and by 24, I was in so much pain that my Family physician finally decided to do some tests. They diagnosed me with a disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis, a disorder that causes fusing of the joints in the vertebrae.
Anyhow, I was put on a variety of drugs (Votaren, Ibuprofen, Vioxx, Bextra) to compensate for the pain, and was told that I would be crippled by my 40's or 50's. Then, a new family doctor came along who had the same disease himself, and he sent me to a new rheumatologist, who said I didn't have it, but diagnosed me with the general malaise of fibromyalgia, which my Family doctor disagreed with. On top of all this, 2 1/2 years ago, I got severe sciatica in my right leg, which left me relying on the use of crutches or a cane for 6 months or more. The sciatica hasn't gone and it is aggravating the hell out of me. All of the anti-inflammatory drugs (vioxx, bextra), which I was put on, have now been pulled off the shelves as they cause heart disease, strokes, etc.
The problem here is that I have had no consistency with the medical experts. The only consistent thing, has been the pain, which is with me on a daily basis. I am beginning to lose faith and confidence in the Medical field. A 10 or 15 minute appointment with my Specialist is NOT a sufficient amount of time to gauge my situation and to develop an educated and empirical diagnosis.
I have an appointment today with my Specialist whom I plan on discussing my issues with. I want answers and options that I can take to resolve this. I want to be my chipper, mobile, happy self, without the need for drugs. I want to get back to enjoying life and living. I hate not knowing, and I hate being grumpy.
Breathe in, breathe out. (ahhhhhhh)
The meditation and the blogging sure do help, so thanks for listening.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I am Normal?
You Are 60% Normal (Really Normal) |
 Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so! |
Billy is no longer an Idol
Billy Idol Concert
Devil's Playground Tour
Koolhaus in Toronto
8pm
Alright, not to be bitchy, but the concert kinda sucked.
I went with J to the concert and the first thing we noticed was the large crowd surrounding the building. The second thing I noticed was that most of the crowd was trying to reclaim their 80's youth-hood via lycra pants, lame (and lame) shirts and big hair. I swear I was one of the younger people there (not that I care, really). Amongst the crowd, I saw a number of families (mum, dad with their 2 tweens and 7 year old). I know this was an All Ages Concert, but I guess Mum and Dad couldn't afford the babysitter for the night, so they thought 50 bucks a pop for each kid would be a better choice. Ummm...WRONG.
So, I'm standing in line with these Ajax cougars in front of me, Mum and Dad with kids a little behind me and I'm feeling like I should be at a Saturday morning concert starring not Billy Idol, but Elmo on Sesame Street Live. Right behind me, Dude, with his girlfriend ran to the front to see if he could bribe himself in front of the line, cause his GF was wearing only a tight mini leather skirt and halter top. He came back complaining that bribes have gone up over the years and they would take no less than 75 bucks each. So they stayed behind me and froze till they got to the front.
J and I get in and b-line for the bar. A few good drinks should make the crowd a little more pretty and less annoying. The crowd is pretty diverse I suppose (Ican't trash that), but I can't get over the crowds of groupies running to the front of the stage. J and I situate ourselves about half-way back with a couple in their 40's who we strike up conversation with. Quite nice and very funny. we kept making fun of the 2 drunk, obnoxious girls and their Urine smelling boyfriend who pushed their way in front of us. None-to-pleased about that.
The concert begins, and I have to admit, I haven't heard much from his new album. It's okay, I guess. His rendition of Mony, Mony was good, but rather long. He also did a rendition of Hot In The City, but upp'ed the Cheese factor to Poutine curds, when he changed the lyrics to Hot in Toronto. Original guitarist Stevens took centre stage a number of times, and I admit I enjoyed his performance more than Idols antics. The theatrics and hip pumping of the 46 year old Idol, were just a bit...umm distracting. I went with some skepticism, and was happy that he lived up to the Cheese factor. The fact that Idol hasn't changed, or aged for that matter (thanks to the knife and Botox), kinda made the whole experience nostalgic in a rather fucked up surreal way. His characteristic Ego, sneer and stripping of shirt was interesting to still see, but kinda out-dated. I was rather surprised by the number of bras and panties that flew on stage, which he promptly signed, or used to wipe up his sweat and gonads, then threw back. I can just imagine those groupies going into their Corporate office jobs this morning, pulling in all the secretaries and other girls to get a whiff of the man's juices.
Uggh, I take it back, I'd rather not picture it.
All-in-all, a rather dissappointing concert. Though I did have fun poking fun. Would have been better if I saw Dickeybird and hung out with him, but we didn't see each other. Missed him at the Scissor Sisters Concert as well. Anyhow, I'll be reading his blog shortly to see what he thought. I'll be presumptuous here, but I think we may fall on some similar views.
Oh, and here's a Tip: Drunk big girls with big hair should not jump up and down, nor should they keep throwing their hair back, a la head banging. I spent the night icing my flattened feet and getting the taste of cheap herbal essence shampoo and hairspray out of my mouth.
Devil's Playground Tour
Koolhaus in Toronto
8pm
Alright, not to be bitchy, but the concert kinda sucked.
I went with J to the concert and the first thing we noticed was the large crowd surrounding the building. The second thing I noticed was that most of the crowd was trying to reclaim their 80's youth-hood via lycra pants, lame (and lame) shirts and big hair. I swear I was one of the younger people there (not that I care, really). Amongst the crowd, I saw a number of families (mum, dad with their 2 tweens and 7 year old). I know this was an All Ages Concert, but I guess Mum and Dad couldn't afford the babysitter for the night, so they thought 50 bucks a pop for each kid would be a better choice. Ummm...WRONG.
So, I'm standing in line with these Ajax cougars in front of me, Mum and Dad with kids a little behind me and I'm feeling like I should be at a Saturday morning concert starring not Billy Idol, but Elmo on Sesame Street Live. Right behind me, Dude, with his girlfriend ran to the front to see if he could bribe himself in front of the line, cause his GF was wearing only a tight mini leather skirt and halter top. He came back complaining that bribes have gone up over the years and they would take no less than 75 bucks each. So they stayed behind me and froze till they got to the front.
J and I get in and b-line for the bar. A few good drinks should make the crowd a little more pretty and less annoying. The crowd is pretty diverse I suppose (Ican't trash that), but I can't get over the crowds of groupies running to the front of the stage. J and I situate ourselves about half-way back with a couple in their 40's who we strike up conversation with. Quite nice and very funny. we kept making fun of the 2 drunk, obnoxious girls and their Urine smelling boyfriend who pushed their way in front of us. None-to-pleased about that.
The concert begins, and I have to admit, I haven't heard much from his new album. It's okay, I guess. His rendition of Mony, Mony was good, but rather long. He also did a rendition of Hot In The City, but upp'ed the Cheese factor to Poutine curds, when he changed the lyrics to Hot in Toronto. Original guitarist Stevens took centre stage a number of times, and I admit I enjoyed his performance more than Idols antics. The theatrics and hip pumping of the 46 year old Idol, were just a bit...umm distracting. I went with some skepticism, and was happy that he lived up to the Cheese factor. The fact that Idol hasn't changed, or aged for that matter (thanks to the knife and Botox), kinda made the whole experience nostalgic in a rather fucked up surreal way. His characteristic Ego, sneer and stripping of shirt was interesting to still see, but kinda out-dated. I was rather surprised by the number of bras and panties that flew on stage, which he promptly signed, or used to wipe up his sweat and gonads, then threw back. I can just imagine those groupies going into their Corporate office jobs this morning, pulling in all the secretaries and other girls to get a whiff of the man's juices.
Uggh, I take it back, I'd rather not picture it.
All-in-all, a rather dissappointing concert. Though I did have fun poking fun. Would have been better if I saw Dickeybird and hung out with him, but we didn't see each other. Missed him at the Scissor Sisters Concert as well. Anyhow, I'll be reading his blog shortly to see what he thought. I'll be presumptuous here, but I think we may fall on some similar views.
Oh, and here's a Tip: Drunk big girls with big hair should not jump up and down, nor should they keep throwing their hair back, a la head banging. I spent the night icing my flattened feet and getting the taste of cheap herbal essence shampoo and hairspray out of my mouth.
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
Global Personality Test Results - Idea Stolen from St.Dickeybird
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
Stability results were very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Trait Snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others
Romantic Moments My Style
The other day, Rib Breaker and I were having a shower together, when I decided to rub his back and give him a shampoo massage. I thought it would be the sweet, romantic thing to do, since he is a Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) and always gives massages to me. But, since I tend not to be particularly romantic, I decided to do what I do best - pull a prank and make a joke of it.
We had gotten into the shower and I picked up the bottle of shampoo and started to lather it into his hair and chest. His eyes were closed and he was pleasantly humming to himself, enjoying the treat. I did this for a few minutes and decided to step away to view my handy work and wait for him to open his eyes. When he did, he saw me standing there grinning, holding a bottle of Shampoo.....for dogs.
I began to read the label aloud:
Sergeant’s® Fur-So-Fresh® Dog Shampoo has a long-lasting herbal fragrance, that lasts up to 2 weeks. The deep-Cleansing formula and special conditioners leaves your beloved pets coat lustrous and easy to manage, with a brilliant sheen.We laughed our asses off.
I am so glad to be with someone who understands my humour. It's no wonder that I love the boy so much. Of course, the next day he said he wouldn't take a shower because he still smelled so fresh.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Random Crap about me
I stole this idea from Jase. For more info on me (though I am not sure who would care), go here
1) WHAT ARE YOUR RANDOM 10 SONGS?
'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan
'Everyday Is Like Sunday' by Morrissey
'Everybody's Changing' by Keane
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'You Make Me Feel Like' by A:xus
'Burn This City' by Franz Ferdinand
'Cherub Rock' by Smashing Pumpkins
'Somebody told Me' by The Killers
'Filthy Gorgeous' by Scissor Sisters
'Let the Wind Carry Me' by Joni Mitchell
2) WHAT IS THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF MUSIC ON YOUR COMPUTER
I dunno. But, I probably have more porn than music. About 80 GBytes worth (thats music and porn total)
3) THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Buddha Bar VI CD Compilation
4) WRITE DOWN 5 SONGS YOU LISTEN TO A LOT OR MEAN A LOT TO YOU
'Don't you forget about me' - Simple Minds
'Possession' - Sarah McLachlan
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'Happiness' by King Britt feat. Alma Horton
'You Make Me Feel Like' by A:xus
***************************************
1) WHAT IS THE GEEKIEST PART OF YOUR BOOK COLLECTION?
'TCP/IP Network Administration' or 'The Female Eunuch' by Germaine Greer
2) WHAT DID YOU DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Had drinks with the guy I am seeing, then went for dinner at a diner, went home and etc etc.
3) WHAT DID YOU GET ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Nothing, and I am still ribbing him for it.
4) WHAT IS YOUR SECRET GUARNATEED WEEPING MOVIE?
Never wept at a movie.
5) IF YOU COULD HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
Dunno, will see when I really begin to age.
6) DO YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FEAR?
Sadly, committment and relationships. Though I am working through that now.
7) WHAT IS THE LITTLE PHYSICAL HABIT THAT GIVES AWAY YOUR INSECURE MOMENTS?
A nervous laugh and shuffling of feet.
8) DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
Yes. A few here and there, but most are Canadians...so I guess the answer is no.
9) WHAT DO YOU CARRY WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES?
Lip balm, cash and blackberry.
10) WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT BEING A KID?
Care-free inhibitions and ease of thought. Being able to act like a kid without being looked at as though you shouldn't.
11) WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU WERE LISTENING TO?
'Take Your Mama Out' by Scissor Sisters
12) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLAY?
Yes. Annie when I was in Grade 4. There was such a stink between the 3 girls who wanted to be Annie, that they had 3 Annie's. And no, I was not one of them.
13) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes, I believe so.
14) DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?
Yes, even more so as I grow older.
15) DO TRANSIENT, HOMELESS, OR STARVING PEOPLE SOMETIMES ANNOY YOU?
Yes. Though I will at times buy food, or gloves for some. I will never give cash, because I know where it goes, and I am not making a stereotype. I know first hand.
16) WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY?
I play the piano, but would love to learn the guitar.
17) FAVORITE FABRIC?
Cotton. it's comforting.
18) WHAT'S ONE LANGUAGE YOU WANT TO LEARN?
I suppose I ought to be more proficient at the languages I already speak (Mandarin, Hakka), but I would like to learn Spanish and re-learn French.
19) WHAT DO YOU ORDER AT A BAR?
Beer:Molson Dry, Sleemens, Keiths. Draught:Kilkenny or Keiths. Vodka Martini, or Gin/tonic, Rye/Coke.
20) HAVE YOU EVER PIERCED YOUR BODY PARTS?
Yes a couple here and there.
21) DO YOU HAVE TATTOOS?
Yes, and a few more to come. I am still working on the designs, and agree that they are spiritually addictive.
22) DO YOU DRIVE A STICK?
No.
23) FAVORITE TRAIT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
Well, lets make this about the same sex, and I will say, confidence and intelligence.
24) MOST FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE?
A cotton blend pajama bottom by American Essentials from Holt Renfrew that was more than 100 bucks.
25) WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT COOKING?
Chinese Food, One pot wonders, roasts, BBQ, Pasta. I pretty much cook pretty well.
26) WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT DRESSSED LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Been there, done that.
27) WHAT'S ONE CAR YOU WILL NEVER BUY.
A Ladda
28) WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
Humour, Fiction, Queer Fiction, Anthologies, and politics.
29) IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Pay off my parents mortgage, my brothers mortgage, and my mortgage, then renovate.
30) DO YOU CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Not generally, but I have and I love them for supporting me.
31) WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LIKE TO DO ALONE?
Is this a trick question? Umm, I like to write, play the piano, do yoga and stretch, or go for a walk to gather my thoughts.
32) ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?
A giver.
33) WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sorry, that's too personal. But it was sometime ago.
34) HOW MANY DRINKS BEFORE YOU'RE TIPSY/SLEEPY?
Quite a bit, unless I am tired. Otherwide, if its beer, a pitcher or so. Martinis do not get me sleepy or drunk, but get me social.
1) WHAT ARE YOUR RANDOM 10 SONGS?
'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan
'Everyday Is Like Sunday' by Morrissey
'Everybody's Changing' by Keane
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'You Make Me Feel Like' by A:xus
'Burn This City' by Franz Ferdinand
'Cherub Rock' by Smashing Pumpkins
'Somebody told Me' by The Killers
'Filthy Gorgeous' by Scissor Sisters
'Let the Wind Carry Me' by Joni Mitchell
2) WHAT IS THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF MUSIC ON YOUR COMPUTER
I dunno. But, I probably have more porn than music. About 80 GBytes worth (thats music and porn total)
3) THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Buddha Bar VI CD Compilation
4) WRITE DOWN 5 SONGS YOU LISTEN TO A LOT OR MEAN A LOT TO YOU
'Don't you forget about me' - Simple Minds
'Possession' - Sarah McLachlan
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'Happiness' by King Britt feat. Alma Horton
'You Make Me Feel Like' by A:xus
***************************************
1) WHAT IS THE GEEKIEST PART OF YOUR BOOK COLLECTION?
'TCP/IP Network Administration' or 'The Female Eunuch' by Germaine Greer
2) WHAT DID YOU DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Had drinks with the guy I am seeing, then went for dinner at a diner, went home and etc etc.
3) WHAT DID YOU GET ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Nothing, and I am still ribbing him for it.
4) WHAT IS YOUR SECRET GUARNATEED WEEPING MOVIE?
Never wept at a movie.
5) IF YOU COULD HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
Dunno, will see when I really begin to age.
6) DO YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FEAR?
Sadly, committment and relationships. Though I am working through that now.
7) WHAT IS THE LITTLE PHYSICAL HABIT THAT GIVES AWAY YOUR INSECURE MOMENTS?
A nervous laugh and shuffling of feet.
8) DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
Yes. A few here and there, but most are Canadians...so I guess the answer is no.
9) WHAT DO YOU CARRY WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES?
Lip balm, cash and blackberry.
10) WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT BEING A KID?
Care-free inhibitions and ease of thought. Being able to act like a kid without being looked at as though you shouldn't.
11) WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU WERE LISTENING TO?
'Take Your Mama Out' by Scissor Sisters
12) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLAY?
Yes. Annie when I was in Grade 4. There was such a stink between the 3 girls who wanted to be Annie, that they had 3 Annie's. And no, I was not one of them.
13) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes, I believe so.
14) DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?
Yes, even more so as I grow older.
15) DO TRANSIENT, HOMELESS, OR STARVING PEOPLE SOMETIMES ANNOY YOU?
Yes. Though I will at times buy food, or gloves for some. I will never give cash, because I know where it goes, and I am not making a stereotype. I know first hand.
16) WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY?
I play the piano, but would love to learn the guitar.
17) FAVORITE FABRIC?
Cotton. it's comforting.
18) WHAT'S ONE LANGUAGE YOU WANT TO LEARN?
I suppose I ought to be more proficient at the languages I already speak (Mandarin, Hakka), but I would like to learn Spanish and re-learn French.
19) WHAT DO YOU ORDER AT A BAR?
Beer:Molson Dry, Sleemens, Keiths. Draught:Kilkenny or Keiths. Vodka Martini, or Gin/tonic, Rye/Coke.
20) HAVE YOU EVER PIERCED YOUR BODY PARTS?
Yes a couple here and there.
21) DO YOU HAVE TATTOOS?
Yes, and a few more to come. I am still working on the designs, and agree that they are spiritually addictive.
22) DO YOU DRIVE A STICK?
No.
23) FAVORITE TRAIT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
Well, lets make this about the same sex, and I will say, confidence and intelligence.
24) MOST FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE?
A cotton blend pajama bottom by American Essentials from Holt Renfrew that was more than 100 bucks.
25) WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT COOKING?
Chinese Food, One pot wonders, roasts, BBQ, Pasta. I pretty much cook pretty well.
26) WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT DRESSSED LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Been there, done that.
27) WHAT'S ONE CAR YOU WILL NEVER BUY.
A Ladda
28) WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
Humour, Fiction, Queer Fiction, Anthologies, and politics.
29) IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Pay off my parents mortgage, my brothers mortgage, and my mortgage, then renovate.
30) DO YOU CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Not generally, but I have and I love them for supporting me.
31) WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LIKE TO DO ALONE?
Is this a trick question? Umm, I like to write, play the piano, do yoga and stretch, or go for a walk to gather my thoughts.
32) ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?
A giver.
33) WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sorry, that's too personal. But it was sometime ago.
34) HOW MANY DRINKS BEFORE YOU'RE TIPSY/SLEEPY?
Quite a bit, unless I am tired. Otherwide, if its beer, a pitcher or so. Martinis do not get me sleepy or drunk, but get me social.
Doggie Updates
Hi All,
I am still swamped with work, and haven't had time to blog or update you with the recent episodes with Kalyx.
No need to worry. I think most of my reaction was a plea for help based on stress and worry. I have spoken with the SPCA, an Animal Behaviourist and each have given me a number of options which I am currently trying. In addition to this I have also spoken with my Condo Management and Security and all understand the situation. As for the neighbour down the hall who has been complaining, she is apparently not well liked by anyone of the prior mentioned people, so I really have no worries. The word "be-yatch" has been thrown around more then a few times. Anyhow, thanks to all of you for the feedback, encouragement and empathy.
Kalyx is doing well, and as you can see, she's sleeping like the baby she is.
I am still swamped with work, and haven't had time to blog or update you with the recent episodes with Kalyx.
No need to worry. I think most of my reaction was a plea for help based on stress and worry. I have spoken with the SPCA, an Animal Behaviourist and each have given me a number of options which I am currently trying. In addition to this I have also spoken with my Condo Management and Security and all understand the situation. As for the neighbour down the hall who has been complaining, she is apparently not well liked by anyone of the prior mentioned people, so I really have no worries. The word "be-yatch" has been thrown around more then a few times. Anyhow, thanks to all of you for the feedback, encouragement and empathy.
Kalyx is doing well, and as you can see, she's sleeping like the baby she is.
Wednesday, March 9, 2005
My doggie is looking for a new home
It breaks my heart, but my baby Kalyx (pronounced "Cal-licks" or "Kay-licks"), is no longer welcome in my condo, due to her daytime barking (PICTURES). This has been going on for quite sometime now, and despite extra attention, returning home for lunches, and various types of training and re-conditioning, she hasn't improved much. My decision hasn't been easy, as I have struggled with this for the last year, but I am hoping if my parents don't take her, that some other kind person will.
Kalyx is a beautiful, energetic, bright Shepherd Cross Breed with very fine soft cuddly fur, who is often entertaining and always silly. She can often be a loner, and doesn't like sleeping on the bed, unless she is by herself like the Queen diva she thinks she is.
She has always been a whiny dog, and has a bit of seperation anxiety. Hide a few treats, to search for when you leave, and she is generally okay.
She requires a home without any other pets as she does not get along with other dogs or cats. Preferably a home without children as well and with a backyard, where she can sit during the day, as she loves to bask in the sun. She is 13 years old (birthday first week of June) and in very good health. The only issue with her, is she is getting old and needy and possibly losing her senility. She is generally a quiet non-barking dog, unless agitated or upset. The perfect home would be one where the owner would be there most of the day (home office?).
She generally eats dry dog food and occassionally gets a treat from the table or store bought can food. She loves apples, pears, peaches and potato chips, and will sit and watch you eat every morsel of food on your plate, in the hopes that you drop or give her some.
I am desperately searching for someone, or a couple who will love her and give her what she needs in her old age.
It breaks my heart even thinking about parting with her. As much love as I have for her, I am unable to provide what it is she needs - a safe, happy home with someone who will likely be with her most of the day.
Please email me directly, or feel free to leave a comment on my blog if you or someone you know might be interested.
Sincerely,
Alex
Kalyx is a beautiful, energetic, bright Shepherd Cross Breed with very fine soft cuddly fur, who is often entertaining and always silly. She can often be a loner, and doesn't like sleeping on the bed, unless she is by herself like the Queen diva she thinks she is.
She has always been a whiny dog, and has a bit of seperation anxiety. Hide a few treats, to search for when you leave, and she is generally okay.
She requires a home without any other pets as she does not get along with other dogs or cats. Preferably a home without children as well and with a backyard, where she can sit during the day, as she loves to bask in the sun. She is 13 years old (birthday first week of June) and in very good health. The only issue with her, is she is getting old and needy and possibly losing her senility. She is generally a quiet non-barking dog, unless agitated or upset. The perfect home would be one where the owner would be there most of the day (home office?).
She generally eats dry dog food and occassionally gets a treat from the table or store bought can food. She loves apples, pears, peaches and potato chips, and will sit and watch you eat every morsel of food on your plate, in the hopes that you drop or give her some.
I am desperately searching for someone, or a couple who will love her and give her what she needs in her old age.
It breaks my heart even thinking about parting with her. As much love as I have for her, I am unable to provide what it is she needs - a safe, happy home with someone who will likely be with her most of the day.
Please email me directly, or feel free to leave a comment on my blog if you or someone you know might be interested.
Sincerely,
Alex
Saturday, March 5, 2005
THE (greatest) (bad) Love Song – No Words Can
+ What is this (love)…?
This burning ember
That swelters summer souls
A fired flame
Ablaze in raging water currents
That consumes consciousness
Blistered burns soothed with toxic chyme
Wounds opened and healed
In one breathe of
Heated calming elixir
All things joined in one
Expression of fertility spent
Death dies to darkness
Swallowed in bathed
Rays of sustained hope
What is this (love)…?
Contradictions all
A Kandinsky whirling back and front
Making sense out of abstract order
A chaos of clutched opened embraces
What is this (love)…?
Rain falling in sunshine
Filling empty holes
With instances of eternity
Creating clouds of blinding comfort
Amidst the down of angel’s wings
Subtle emanations of
Clanging gongs between
The notes of unheard music
Mania in stillness trance
Beating a vibrato frequency
Of synced hearts
All meaning insignificant
Save
The cholera of beloved desire
What is this (love)…?
The bleating sombre night
Of joyous silence
Ringing solemn symphonies
Requiems for phoenix hearts
This tumour mass
Reveals to be
The four chambered beating question
That answers all with healing poison
Enough venom to fever pitch
But not destroy (almost)
The price of peace paid
Never paid
Chased away and back
Moving from selfish to selfless
And then back again
What is this (love)…?
Elusive minute shadows
Cast in desert sands
From noonday suns
Scorching flesh willingly lain bare
What is this (love)…?
An Escher question
Turning back on its reflected self
Where is the beginning of the maze,
The unquestionable question answered
Unanswerably questioned.
(stonedbunny)
This burning ember
That swelters summer souls
A fired flame
Ablaze in raging water currents
That consumes consciousness
Blistered burns soothed with toxic chyme
Wounds opened and healed
In one breathe of
Heated calming elixir
All things joined in one
Expression of fertility spent
Death dies to darkness
Swallowed in bathed
Rays of sustained hope
What is this (love)…?
Contradictions all
A Kandinsky whirling back and front
Making sense out of abstract order
A chaos of clutched opened embraces
What is this (love)…?
Rain falling in sunshine
Filling empty holes
With instances of eternity
Creating clouds of blinding comfort
Amidst the down of angel’s wings
Subtle emanations of
Clanging gongs between
The notes of unheard music
Mania in stillness trance
Beating a vibrato frequency
Of synced hearts
All meaning insignificant
Save
The cholera of beloved desire
What is this (love)…?
The bleating sombre night
Of joyous silence
Ringing solemn symphonies
Requiems for phoenix hearts
This tumour mass
Reveals to be
The four chambered beating question
That answers all with healing poison
Enough venom to fever pitch
But not destroy (almost)
The price of peace paid
Never paid
Chased away and back
Moving from selfish to selfless
And then back again
What is this (love)…?
Elusive minute shadows
Cast in desert sands
From noonday suns
Scorching flesh willingly lain bare
What is this (love)…?
An Escher question
Turning back on its reflected self
Where is the beginning of the maze,
The unquestionable question answered
Unanswerably questioned.
(stonedbunny)
Wednesday, March 2, 2005
Random Crap about Me.
I stole this idea from Jase. For more info on me (though I am not sure who would care), go here
1) WHAT ARE YOUR RANDOM 10 SONGS?
'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan
'Everyday Is Like Sunday' by Morrissey
'Everybody's Changing' by Keane
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'You Make Me Feel Like' by A:xus
'Burn This City' by Franz Ferdinand
'Cherub Rock' by Smashing Pumpkins
'Somebody told Me' by The Killers
'Filthy Gorgeous' by Scissor Sisters
'Let the Wind Carry Me' by Joni Mitchell
2) WHAT IS THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF MUSIC ON YOUR COMPUTER
I dunno. But, I probably have more porn than music. About 80 GBytes worth (thats music and porn total)
3) THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Buddha Bar VI CD Compilation
4) WRITE DOWN 5 SONGS YOU LISTEN TO A LOT OR MEAN A LOT TO YOU
'Don't you forget about me' - Simple Minds
'Angel' - Sarah McLachlan
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'Happiness' by King Britt feat. Alma Horton
***************************************
1) WHAT IS THE GEEKIEST PART OF YOUR BOOK COLLECTION?
TCP/IP Network Administration
2) WHAT DID YOU DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Had drinks with the guy I am seeing, then went for dinner at a diner, went home and had sex.
3) WHAT DID YOU GET ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Nothing, and I am still ribbing him for it.
4) WHAT IS YOUR SECRET GUARNATEED WEEPING MOVIE?
Never wept at a movie.
5) IF YOU COULD HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
Dunno, will see when I really begin to age.
6) DO YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FEAR?
Sadly, committment and relationships. Though I am working through that now.
7) WHAT IS THE LITTLE PHYSICAL HABIT THAT GIVES AWAY YOUR INSECURE MOMENTS?
A nervous laugh and shuffling of feet.
8) DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
Yes. A few here and there, but most are Canadians.
9) WHAT DO YOU CARRY WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES?
Lip balm, cash and blackberry.
10) WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT BEING A KID?
Care-free inhibitions and ease of thought. Being able to act like a kid without being looked at as though you shouldn't.
11) WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU WERE LISTENING TO?
'Take Your Mama Out' by Scissor Sisters
12) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLAY?
Yes. Annie when I was in Grade 4. There was such a stink between the 3 girls who wanted to be Annie, that they had 3 Annie's. And no, I was not one of them.
13) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes, I believe so.
14) DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?Yes, even more so as I grow older.
15) DO TRANSIENT, HOMELESS, OR STARVING PEOPLE SOMETIMES ANNOY YOU?
Yes. Though I will at times buy food, or gloves for some. I will never give cash, because I know where it goes, and I am not making a stereotype. I know first hand.
16) WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY?
I play the piano, but would love to learn the guitar.
17) FAVORITE FABRIC?
Cotton. it's comforting.
18) WHAT'S ONE LANGUAGE YOU WANT TO LEARN?
I suppose I ought to be more proficient at the languages I already speak (Mandarin, Hakka), but I would like to learn Spanish and re-learn French.
19) WHAT DO YOU ORDER AT A BAR?
Beer:Molson Dry, Sleemens, Keiths. Draught:Kilkenny or Keiths. Vodka Martini, or Gin/tonic, Rye/Coke.
20) HAVE YOU EVER PIERCED YOUR BODY PARTS?
Yes a couple here and there.
21) DO YOU HAVE TATTOOS?
Yes, and a few more to come. I am still working on the designs, and agree that they are spiritually addictive.
22) DO YOU DRIVE A STICK?
No.
23) FAVORITE TRAIT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
Well, lets make this about the same sex, and I will say, confidence and intelligence.
24) MOST FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE?
A cotton blend pajama bottom by American Essentials from Holt Renfrew that was more than 100 bucks.
25) WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT COOKING?
Chinese Food, One pot wonders, roasts, BBQ, Pasta. I pretty much cook pretty well.
26) WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT DRESSSED LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Been there, done that.
27) WHAT'S ONE CAR YOU WILL NEVER BUY.
A Ladda
28) WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
Humour, Fiction, Queer Fiction, Anthologies, and politics.
29) IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Pay off my parents mortgage, my brothers mortgage, and my mortgage, then renovate.
30) DO YOU CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Not generally, but I have and I love them for supporting me.
31) WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LIKE TO DO ALONE?
Is this a trick question? Umm, I like to write, play the piano, do yoga and stretch, or go for a walk to gather my thoughts.
32) ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?
A giver.
33) WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sorry, that's too personal. But it was sometime ago.
34) HOW MANY DRINKS BEFORE YOU'RE TIPSY/SLEEPY?
Quite a bit, unless I am tired. Otherwide, if its beer, a pitcher or so. Martinis do not get me sleepy or drunk, but get me social.
1) WHAT ARE YOUR RANDOM 10 SONGS?
'Angel' by Sarah McLachlan
'Everyday Is Like Sunday' by Morrissey
'Everybody's Changing' by Keane
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'You Make Me Feel Like' by A:xus
'Burn This City' by Franz Ferdinand
'Cherub Rock' by Smashing Pumpkins
'Somebody told Me' by The Killers
'Filthy Gorgeous' by Scissor Sisters
'Let the Wind Carry Me' by Joni Mitchell
2) WHAT IS THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF MUSIC ON YOUR COMPUTER
I dunno. But, I probably have more porn than music. About 80 GBytes worth (thats music and porn total)
3) THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Buddha Bar VI CD Compilation
4) WRITE DOWN 5 SONGS YOU LISTEN TO A LOT OR MEAN A LOT TO YOU
'Don't you forget about me' - Simple Minds
'Angel' - Sarah McLachlan
'Live My Life' by Moments of Soul
'Happiness' by King Britt feat. Alma Horton
***************************************
1) WHAT IS THE GEEKIEST PART OF YOUR BOOK COLLECTION?
TCP/IP Network Administration
2) WHAT DID YOU DO ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Had drinks with the guy I am seeing, then went for dinner at a diner, went home and had sex.
3) WHAT DID YOU GET ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
Nothing, and I am still ribbing him for it.
4) WHAT IS YOUR SECRET GUARNATEED WEEPING MOVIE?
Never wept at a movie.
5) IF YOU COULD HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?
Dunno, will see when I really begin to age.
6) DO YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL FEAR?
Sadly, committment and relationships. Though I am working through that now.
7) WHAT IS THE LITTLE PHYSICAL HABIT THAT GIVES AWAY YOUR INSECURE MOMENTS?
A nervous laugh and shuffling of feet.
8) DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?
Yes. A few here and there, but most are Canadians.
9) WHAT DO YOU CARRY WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES?
Lip balm, cash and blackberry.
10) WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT BEING A KID?
Care-free inhibitions and ease of thought. Being able to act like a kid without being looked at as though you shouldn't.
11) WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU WERE LISTENING TO?
'Take Your Mama Out' by Scissor Sisters
12) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLAY?
Yes. Annie when I was in Grade 4. There was such a stink between the 3 girls who wanted to be Annie, that they had 3 Annie's. And no, I was not one of them.
13) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes, I believe so.
14) DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF?Yes, even more so as I grow older.
15) DO TRANSIENT, HOMELESS, OR STARVING PEOPLE SOMETIMES ANNOY YOU?
Yes. Though I will at times buy food, or gloves for some. I will never give cash, because I know where it goes, and I am not making a stereotype. I know first hand.
16) WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD PLAY?
I play the piano, but would love to learn the guitar.
17) FAVORITE FABRIC?
Cotton. it's comforting.
18) WHAT'S ONE LANGUAGE YOU WANT TO LEARN?
I suppose I ought to be more proficient at the languages I already speak (Mandarin, Hakka), but I would like to learn Spanish and re-learn French.
19) WHAT DO YOU ORDER AT A BAR?
Beer:Molson Dry, Sleemens, Keiths. Draught:Kilkenny or Keiths. Vodka Martini, or Gin/tonic, Rye/Coke.
20) HAVE YOU EVER PIERCED YOUR BODY PARTS?
Yes a couple here and there.
21) DO YOU HAVE TATTOOS?
Yes, and a few more to come. I am still working on the designs, and agree that they are spiritually addictive.
22) DO YOU DRIVE A STICK?
No.
23) FAVORITE TRAIT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
Well, lets make this about the same sex, and I will say, confidence and intelligence.
24) MOST FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE?
A cotton blend pajama bottom by American Essentials from Holt Renfrew that was more than 100 bucks.
25) WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT COOKING?
Chinese Food, One pot wonders, roasts, BBQ, Pasta. I pretty much cook pretty well.
26) WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT DRESSSED LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Been there, done that.
27) WHAT'S ONE CAR YOU WILL NEVER BUY.
A Ladda
28) WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ?
Humour, Fiction, Queer Fiction, Anthologies, and politics.
29) IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Pay off my parents mortgage, my brothers mortgage, and my mortgage, then renovate.
30) DO YOU CRY IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Not generally, but I have and I love them for supporting me.
31) WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LIKE TO DO ALONE?
Is this a trick question? Umm, I like to write, play the piano, do yoga and stretch, or go for a walk to gather my thoughts.
32) ARE YOU A GIVER OR A TAKER?
A giver.
33) WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Sorry, that's too personal. But it was sometime ago.
34) HOW MANY DRINKS BEFORE YOU'RE TIPSY/SLEEPY?
Quite a bit, unless I am tired. Otherwide, if its beer, a pitcher or so. Martinis do not get me sleepy or drunk, but get me social.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Fall On Your Knees - Or How To Sing A Hymm Of Praise at 3:00am EST
So, ah, have you heard the pope is sick. I really hope he gets well. He is the leader of today’s Catholic church. The man who defends his faith against all challenges to that faith. And to be totally honest I have a particular vested interest in the pending death. I don’t want it to happen. Ya see when a pope dies there is this renewed Catholic vigour that sweeps the world. Lapse Catholics return to their faith, new people join, and then we have to tolerate another prolonged agony of death for the archaic institution. But if the pope can stay alive for another ten years and get more and more decrepit so too shall the gothic tomb of spirituality. AND THEN when the next whiff of white smoke sails into gods nostrils announcing the inheritor’s arrival he will be too late for the kingdom, the power, and the glory has crumbled.
So I had a dream the other night and in the dream I was trapped in a Roman Catholic Church--indeed a true nightmare. I had left my studies for the priesthood in the early '90s after my cock started demanding too much attention and I realized I like my dates to be at least 19 years old. What made this dream even worse was the fact that I had stopped being a Christian some ten years ago. Just when I thought it could get no worse, I was told I was about to be baptized again. Before doing so the obligatory first confession was in order. Alas I found a way out of this darkness: "Bless me father for I have NOT sinned…."
I'm a slut, a tramp, a whore--the holy trinity of debauchery--all things we are afraid to admit that make us bad little boys and girls. Shhhhh! We can only do or talk about those things with the lights off, late at night, by ourselves. Shame! If I wanted to be a good little boy I'd grow up and marry the girl next door, move to the suburbs, get a mini-van, and pump out 2.5 children. I've participated in the spilling of enough bodily fluids to populate a small Pacific island. I've lost count of how many times I've stepped onto the dance floor. Hey, wake up! Every bump and grind was a movement of two (well sometimes more and sometimes less). They all freely chose to mambo. I make no excuses or explanations or apologies. Every person I've been with has felt like they got their monies worth and then some. Yeah okay there was the occasional fuck up--human error. That's the picture. Look--or turn away in disgust. But your judging gaze no longer scratches me. Well, if you're cute and know what you want--let's "talk".
I'm out of the back seat. No longer a passenger in someone else's divine car, staring blankly out the window, watching everyone living lives that I so desperately want for myself. I've leapt over the front seat and kicked out the idiot behind the wheel (realizing he looked a bit too much like me). Then I realized what a shitty car he had and went and got myself an Alfa Romeo; the SUV can wait until 50.
Life is too much of a wild ride not to be roaring down the road--mad as a hatter--convertible top down, screaming into the night air--shirt open--the rain beating its tribal rhythms on my chest. Yes I am alive. Now I will prove it. I am going to go and preach my message to the multitudes. "It is your turn! Don't be me or the guy next to you. Be you, but be the you that is lurking deep inside wanting to howl at the moon. Dance in the rain. Kiss in public. And turn around and tell the person queuing behind you that if they don't stop pushing you they will land on their ass. And to the moron in front, 'Does it really take that fucking long to figure out you want a double tall decaf latte with soy and hold the foam?'"
So Father, this is the last time you will get this "I fall on my knees" for you. You no longer have this boy offering up his ass. It's got better places to be offered. I don't want your slaughtered lamb--unless it comes well-done and with mint jelly and oh, those little sweet potatoes. My guilt is now on my terms.
But dear padres, don't look at this ending as a failure. Failure is when something ends and you have learned nothing. I've learned a lot. The biggest Sunday school lesson I've learned is that a message of love has been corrupted by old men in black (and no that ain’t Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith--though they may be suited to battle this earth grown evil) looking backwards clinging to a tradition of power to make serfs of us all.
I am now attending the church of the beast with two backs. There I gladly fall on my knees and sing hymns of joy in the sweat stained cathedrals as my heart pulses to the cacophony of house and techno. There the Holy Communion is placed on my tongue promising true union with my brothers and sisters. There we raise our hands in glorious praise for we know God is made in our image. And!! He is a DJ. Here endeth the nightmare. I cum in peace.
(This was a piece I had published last year but was on my mind of late. The first paragraph is new just for alyx. oh and thes last sentences are new too.)
So I had a dream the other night and in the dream I was trapped in a Roman Catholic Church--indeed a true nightmare. I had left my studies for the priesthood in the early '90s after my cock started demanding too much attention and I realized I like my dates to be at least 19 years old. What made this dream even worse was the fact that I had stopped being a Christian some ten years ago. Just when I thought it could get no worse, I was told I was about to be baptized again. Before doing so the obligatory first confession was in order. Alas I found a way out of this darkness: "Bless me father for I have NOT sinned…."
I'm a slut, a tramp, a whore--the holy trinity of debauchery--all things we are afraid to admit that make us bad little boys and girls. Shhhhh! We can only do or talk about those things with the lights off, late at night, by ourselves. Shame! If I wanted to be a good little boy I'd grow up and marry the girl next door, move to the suburbs, get a mini-van, and pump out 2.5 children. I've participated in the spilling of enough bodily fluids to populate a small Pacific island. I've lost count of how many times I've stepped onto the dance floor. Hey, wake up! Every bump and grind was a movement of two (well sometimes more and sometimes less). They all freely chose to mambo. I make no excuses or explanations or apologies. Every person I've been with has felt like they got their monies worth and then some. Yeah okay there was the occasional fuck up--human error. That's the picture. Look--or turn away in disgust. But your judging gaze no longer scratches me. Well, if you're cute and know what you want--let's "talk".
I'm out of the back seat. No longer a passenger in someone else's divine car, staring blankly out the window, watching everyone living lives that I so desperately want for myself. I've leapt over the front seat and kicked out the idiot behind the wheel (realizing he looked a bit too much like me). Then I realized what a shitty car he had and went and got myself an Alfa Romeo; the SUV can wait until 50.
Life is too much of a wild ride not to be roaring down the road--mad as a hatter--convertible top down, screaming into the night air--shirt open--the rain beating its tribal rhythms on my chest. Yes I am alive. Now I will prove it. I am going to go and preach my message to the multitudes. "It is your turn! Don't be me or the guy next to you. Be you, but be the you that is lurking deep inside wanting to howl at the moon. Dance in the rain. Kiss in public. And turn around and tell the person queuing behind you that if they don't stop pushing you they will land on their ass. And to the moron in front, 'Does it really take that fucking long to figure out you want a double tall decaf latte with soy and hold the foam?'"
So Father, this is the last time you will get this "I fall on my knees" for you. You no longer have this boy offering up his ass. It's got better places to be offered. I don't want your slaughtered lamb--unless it comes well-done and with mint jelly and oh, those little sweet potatoes. My guilt is now on my terms.
But dear padres, don't look at this ending as a failure. Failure is when something ends and you have learned nothing. I've learned a lot. The biggest Sunday school lesson I've learned is that a message of love has been corrupted by old men in black (and no that ain’t Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith--though they may be suited to battle this earth grown evil) looking backwards clinging to a tradition of power to make serfs of us all.
I am now attending the church of the beast with two backs. There I gladly fall on my knees and sing hymns of joy in the sweat stained cathedrals as my heart pulses to the cacophony of house and techno. There the Holy Communion is placed on my tongue promising true union with my brothers and sisters. There we raise our hands in glorious praise for we know God is made in our image. And!! He is a DJ. Here endeth the nightmare. I cum in peace.
(This was a piece I had published last year but was on my mind of late. The first paragraph is new just for alyx. oh and thes last sentences are new too.)
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Chicken Style Black Forest
SO it seems I found myself in the kitchen after smoking a little pot (quelle surprise!) and opened the fridge to see what gluttonous treasures lay within. Now I got (oh wait this an SM for those keeping count.) a sweet deal here. Ray is a nester and we are never for want in the house. Da boy keep a well stocked pantry ladies. All I do is I write him a cheque each month. And he isn’t a bad roomie. We have a unique companionship.
This may at first look like the utopian ideal I describe but alas there is a weak link. I don’t always like the choices or quantity/quality of things he may buy. I opened the deli tray and saw something that looked like chicken or maybe ham. I’m stoned who cares. I roll up a slice and my brain lays in anticipation to see what my taste buds tell: Is it chicken or is it ham? Then came the screwed up face.
What the fuck is "chicken style black forest" people? See it is even hard to say. That should portend or at least foreshadow the doom that lay ahead. OH and if that doesn’t say whoa Nelly then the next line says 15% meat protein. And all in the same font. AND not even dropped down a point or to the next line.
Chicken Style
Black Forest
15% Meat Protein
Is this flesh before me the sour and sweat spawned offspring of some bizarre mad scientist lab copulation between species experiment gone awry? You know how mixed babies are usually quite attractive as some aesthetics gene kicks in and takes over the selection process and only the unique genes commingle. (Aside: When I first saw Alex I thought he was mixed. Then I found out he was just unusually quite beautiful.) Where were we? Oh yeah the mad chicken ham beast. It did not get the best of the chicken and pig. Salty as hell - I got borderline hypertension.
I think they know how bad it tastes and add the salt thinking it will magically make it palatable. Yeah sure. Do you think they actually get a big bunch of chicken and ham and grind and mush them together and then shape it to a loaf? Gross.
Furthermore and maybe paramount where is any sense of decency? Man we raise the damned chickens and pigs in captivity and kill the damned chickens and pigs to eat the asses can’t we at least give it a little dignity in death and let it be its own food product. Hell I don’t mind. If I really want those two flavours together I’ll stack them.
This may at first look like the utopian ideal I describe but alas there is a weak link. I don’t always like the choices or quantity/quality of things he may buy. I opened the deli tray and saw something that looked like chicken or maybe ham. I’m stoned who cares. I roll up a slice and my brain lays in anticipation to see what my taste buds tell: Is it chicken or is it ham? Then came the screwed up face.
What the fuck is "chicken style black forest" people? See it is even hard to say. That should portend or at least foreshadow the doom that lay ahead. OH and if that doesn’t say whoa Nelly then the next line says 15% meat protein. And all in the same font. AND not even dropped down a point or to the next line.
Chicken Style
Black Forest
15% Meat Protein
Is this flesh before me the sour and sweat spawned offspring of some bizarre mad scientist lab copulation between species experiment gone awry? You know how mixed babies are usually quite attractive as some aesthetics gene kicks in and takes over the selection process and only the unique genes commingle. (Aside: When I first saw Alex I thought he was mixed. Then I found out he was just unusually quite beautiful.) Where were we? Oh yeah the mad chicken ham beast. It did not get the best of the chicken and pig. Salty as hell - I got borderline hypertension.
I think they know how bad it tastes and add the salt thinking it will magically make it palatable. Yeah sure. Do you think they actually get a big bunch of chicken and ham and grind and mush them together and then shape it to a loaf? Gross.
Furthermore and maybe paramount where is any sense of decency? Man we raise the damned chickens and pigs in captivity and kill the damned chickens and pigs to eat the asses can’t we at least give it a little dignity in death and let it be its own food product. Hell I don’t mind. If I really want those two flavours together I’ll stack them.
Where’s PETA when you need them.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Cr-cr-cr-crushin? Or is that gas?
(I have decided to use a different style as I guest write for Epi. Check out my own blog for my usual pedantic ramblings.)
SO I am spending some time with a man. I have grown fond of this man and like being around him. He is helping me let go of some past expectations/illusions/delusions. And though I proclaim to be a liver of the moment he is so much better at living the moment then I could ever be. My brain has a wee-bit-o-problem turning off.
For the first two weeks there was the euphoria of newness. I think the word is CRUSHIN. His name is Simon. He says he is CRUSHIN too. I think that is what makes this grin slide across my face. Requited affection - gotta like it. I may be in jeopardy of losing my acerbic edge. The horror the horror!!
Two samples of incredibly romantic or cheesy dialogue uttered in the last 53 days (a wild guess).
***********
Joshua: You have a perma-grin.
Simon: What’s that?
Joshua: You have a permanent smile on your face as if you are smiling from your heart.
Simon: So do you.
Joshua: I guess we are both extremely happy with where we happen to find ourselves at this point in time.
Simon: I guess we are.
***********
Joshua: You are so cute.
Simon: You are.
Joshua: You are so adorable.
Simon: But that’s you though.
**********
Joshua: I feel the need to ravage you severely.
Simon: Then don’t let me stop you from meeting your needs.
******
Joshua: I keep smiling a lot lately. Walking around with a grin on my face.
Simon: Its called a “shit eating grin”. I have one too.
******
Now though I find myself attracted to this person I find I do not have that gut wrenching passion for him. I don’t emotionally or intellectually get off on this person. The first couple of weeks le papillon de l’amour were doing their thing but they quickly fluttered away. Fickle ‘flies. You know the nervousness in the tummy when I think of him.
We are kind, considerate, caring, sexy. Maybe how I define passion for a man is changing and all the craziness of youth is replaced by a more realistic view. I’ve been in love many times and had my heart broken, reassembled, and broken hearts. I have absolutely no idea what the hell I am trying to convince myself of. I need to stop thinking and just be and let it run where it may. Great advice to give but a bitch to follow.
SO I am spending some time with a man. I have grown fond of this man and like being around him. He is helping me let go of some past expectations/illusions/delusions. And though I proclaim to be a liver of the moment he is so much better at living the moment then I could ever be. My brain has a wee-bit-o-problem turning off.
For the first two weeks there was the euphoria of newness. I think the word is CRUSHIN. His name is Simon. He says he is CRUSHIN too. I think that is what makes this grin slide across my face. Requited affection - gotta like it. I may be in jeopardy of losing my acerbic edge. The horror the horror!!
Two samples of incredibly romantic or cheesy dialogue uttered in the last 53 days (a wild guess).
***********
Joshua: You have a perma-grin.
Simon: What’s that?
Joshua: You have a permanent smile on your face as if you are smiling from your heart.
Simon: So do you.
Joshua: I guess we are both extremely happy with where we happen to find ourselves at this point in time.
Simon: I guess we are.
***********
Joshua: You are so cute.
Simon: You are.
Joshua: You are so adorable.
Simon: But that’s you though.
**********
Joshua: I feel the need to ravage you severely.
Simon: Then don’t let me stop you from meeting your needs.
******
Joshua: I keep smiling a lot lately. Walking around with a grin on my face.
Simon: Its called a “shit eating grin”. I have one too.
******
Now though I find myself attracted to this person I find I do not have that gut wrenching passion for him. I don’t emotionally or intellectually get off on this person. The first couple of weeks le papillon de l’amour were doing their thing but they quickly fluttered away. Fickle ‘flies. You know the nervousness in the tummy when I think of him.
We are kind, considerate, caring, sexy. Maybe how I define passion for a man is changing and all the craziness of youth is replaced by a more realistic view. I’ve been in love many times and had my heart broken, reassembled, and broken hearts. I have absolutely no idea what the hell I am trying to convince myself of. I need to stop thinking and just be and let it run where it may. Great advice to give but a bitch to follow.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Writer's Block Party
SO, many polytheistic belief systems believe that we human beings are conduits of and for all energy in the universe. Changes are often reflected in our moods. Now I am not talking about the ability to watch an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and be laughing one moment and bawling your eyes out the next.
A number of friends have of late been reporting a lack of creativity. With a lack of creativity comes a lack of motivation. They are two ingredients in the sour dour dough. I count myself in their numbers. But sadly there seems to be no saints to march in and save the day – or at least a good idea for fuck sakes.
Is it the cold Canadian winter? The low light levels? The lack of colour? I personally have not posted on my own blog for a while now. Even Epicurist says that one of the reasons for not posting lately is a lack of creativity. Maybe gravitating towards the routine of career gives us the energy to wade through the sea of ennui? Maybe soon the colours of spring trigger areas of the brain that finally thaw out. Until then.
So this is my creative kick at the can holding my creative slump. I figured by taking responsibility for someone else’s blog I might at least feel obligated to write and at least keep the muscle working.
Here we go. I hope.
A number of friends have of late been reporting a lack of creativity. With a lack of creativity comes a lack of motivation. They are two ingredients in the sour dour dough. I count myself in their numbers. But sadly there seems to be no saints to march in and save the day – or at least a good idea for fuck sakes.
Is it the cold Canadian winter? The low light levels? The lack of colour? I personally have not posted on my own blog for a while now. Even Epicurist says that one of the reasons for not posting lately is a lack of creativity. Maybe gravitating towards the routine of career gives us the energy to wade through the sea of ennui? Maybe soon the colours of spring trigger areas of the brain that finally thaw out. Until then.
So this is my creative kick at the can holding my creative slump. I figured by taking responsibility for someone else’s blog I might at least feel obligated to write and at least keep the muscle working.
Here we go. I hope.
Extended Absinthe
Well Absence is more like it.
I am bogged down by The Man, and wishing I wasn't. I want and need a vacation, but seeing that I can't, I am willing myself away from the Kingdom of Blog - just for a while longer.
In my very soon to be missed absence, my friend and fellow blogger, Stoned Bunny will be my guest writer. I have known him for about 11 years, and have always respected his intellect and humour. He is a veritable genius, and I expect that he will do me proud.
Attention Stoned Bunny,
I, Epicurist (aka Alexander), of the domain Epicureal thoughts, give you, Stoned Bunny, full and complete editorial freedom, to write and post without hesitation or fear of my involvement (well, so long as there are no incriminating stories about me).
So without further ado, here is the adorably cute and fuzzy Stoned Bunny.
Cheers and Thanks a lot,
Alexander
I am bogged down by The Man, and wishing I wasn't. I want and need a vacation, but seeing that I can't, I am willing myself away from the Kingdom of Blog - just for a while longer.
In my very soon to be missed absence, my friend and fellow blogger, Stoned Bunny will be my guest writer. I have known him for about 11 years, and have always respected his intellect and humour. He is a veritable genius, and I expect that he will do me proud.
Attention Stoned Bunny,
I, Epicurist (aka Alexander), of the domain Epicureal thoughts, give you, Stoned Bunny, full and complete editorial freedom, to write and post without hesitation or fear of my involvement (well, so long as there are no incriminating stories about me).
So without further ado, here is the adorably cute and fuzzy Stoned Bunny.
Cheers and Thanks a lot,
Alexander
Monday, February 14, 2005
Some time off
Hello my lovely bloggers,
I will be taking a short time off due to work and the amount of projects on my plate. Unfortunately, this time I will not have the luxury to blog whilst I work.
I intend to be back soon, but in the meantime and learning about RSS and CSS (info). If any of you know of good tutorials or RSS downloads and good Host server sites, I would be happy to hear from you so that I can begin my path toward ultimate geekdom.
Cheers!
Epi
I will be taking a short time off due to work and the amount of projects on my plate. Unfortunately, this time I will not have the luxury to blog whilst I work.
I intend to be back soon, but in the meantime and learning about RSS and CSS (info). If any of you know of good tutorials or RSS downloads and good Host server sites, I would be happy to hear from you so that I can begin my path toward ultimate geekdom.
Cheers!
Epi
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
The Year of the Rooster
Wishing you all a very Happy Chinese New Years. It is the year of the Rooster or as we fags like to call it, "Year of the Cock". I wish I had time to tell you more about it, but work is busy as hell, and well, I really don't know all that much, so have a look here about Chinese traditions and here for info on the Year of the Rooster.
Happiness, Health, Prosperity & Good Luck!
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
When thanks are due....
I just wanted to take a few minutes to thank you ALL for your support, advice, and friendship, from the bottom of my heart. It has been just over a year since my first blog, and I must say that I am pleasantly surprised by this unlikely grouping of bloggers. I truly do see you as friends, and thank you for the stories, the laughter, sarcasm, bitchiness, and warm comments.
I admit that I have always been a fiercely independent soul, keeping personal issues to myself, but you have all shared so much that I now realise that being emotive and expressing oneself is not a bad thing. It is not a sign of weakness. It is human nature and the way we grow.
This adventure has truly expanded my horizon and I want you to all know that you all have been the silver lining to my blog experience.
The last 3 years of my life have seen many ups and downs, where I most often fought the battle on my own. It has been tough at times. Only my close friends in Toronto know what I have been through. I have no regrets about how I did it. I am stronger for it, and am far more clear about who I am and what makes me tick. I have faced darkness and despair, but risen from that hellish hole to see that life has a lot to offer, as I to it. My superb friends have been my Rock and I would also like to send my love to them.
As I embark on a new path this year, many changes and new choices are being made that will irrevocably change my life for the better. The ball has already begun, and I can feel the restless tides churning. I have been in a very good place for quite sometime now, and it is because I have realised that I cannot do this on my own, and that friends are to be leaned upon. At the same time, one must always Respect, Honour, Love and Thank those who have been there for you. Friends and family are not to be taken for granted.
So without further a do:
Thanks to all,
The Joy Luck Club
The Cottage Crew
The Highschool Gang
The Kingdom of Bloggers
and To my family (I love you for how far you have come, and I look forward to what is next)
With Love and Thanks Always,
Alex
I admit that I have always been a fiercely independent soul, keeping personal issues to myself, but you have all shared so much that I now realise that being emotive and expressing oneself is not a bad thing. It is not a sign of weakness. It is human nature and the way we grow.
This adventure has truly expanded my horizon and I want you to all know that you all have been the silver lining to my blog experience.
The last 3 years of my life have seen many ups and downs, where I most often fought the battle on my own. It has been tough at times. Only my close friends in Toronto know what I have been through. I have no regrets about how I did it. I am stronger for it, and am far more clear about who I am and what makes me tick. I have faced darkness and despair, but risen from that hellish hole to see that life has a lot to offer, as I to it. My superb friends have been my Rock and I would also like to send my love to them.
As I embark on a new path this year, many changes and new choices are being made that will irrevocably change my life for the better. The ball has already begun, and I can feel the restless tides churning. I have been in a very good place for quite sometime now, and it is because I have realised that I cannot do this on my own, and that friends are to be leaned upon. At the same time, one must always Respect, Honour, Love and Thank those who have been there for you. Friends and family are not to be taken for granted.
So without further a do:
Thanks to all,
The Joy Luck Club
The Cottage Crew
The Highschool Gang
The Kingdom of Bloggers
and To my family (I love you for how far you have come, and I look forward to what is next)
With Love and Thanks Always,
Alex
Barking dogs and Magic Mushrooms do not go together.
Since recently on the topic of dogs, I forgot to write about an experience I had during August 2004. I had gone away to a friends cottage late Friday night. My dog was to be alone for about 8 hours or so, with my mum coming early the next day to babysit, so I believed all was fine.
Granted, I should have arranged someone to come earlier and I take full responsibilty for it.
Anyhow, Saturday comes along and were all happily basking in the Parry Sound Sun. Water is warm and weather is beautiful with an ever so slight breeze. The true story begins, when one of our friends decides to take out his bag of magic mushrooms to share with everyone. Now, take note that I have only done this once before, but what I took was smaller than my fingernail, and had little to no effect. This time, they hand me something about the size of my index finger which I eat suspiciously.
What began as a nice day literally turned into a nightmare within the hour. The initial high was fine, but paranoia and hullicinations were going to be the chosen theme for the day for me. Branches, trees, grass and even the wallpaper were crawling like bugs and had me completely freaked out. I have never been in a powerless situation like that and I will never put myself there again. This of course, lasted 6 hours and at the 4th hour I get a call from my hysterical mother telling me that the neighbours had called the security and Police indicating that the dog had been abandoned and abused as she was whining and barking all morning. The police apparently came and said the dog had defecated and urinated all over the home. If the constable had taken a little more care, he would have noticed that the supposed shit were actually her toys and bones strewn about the floor.
This of course could’nt have come at the worst moment. I don’t believe I have ever been more stressed in my life. To top it off, the neighbour left a nasty letter at my door, indicating that I was abusive and that the dog barks everytime they walk down the corridor (like duh!). They called the Humane society, and upon their arrival, the neighbour accosted my mother whilst she was sitting watching Tele with kalyx. Mum of course is a petite, diminutive lady, and she immediately began to cry. The humane society lady was sweet and said that the neighbours were being ridiculous and indicated that kalyx’s mixed breeding made her a whiner, and that she would most certainly bark if someone unfamiliar walked past the front door. She pointed out that it was the nature of dogs to bark.
Now, I realise that I made a misjudgement in leaving Kalyx for an extended period of time, and tehre is no excuse for that. But the kicker was my conversation with my neighbour that Sunday night.
I called her Saturday while in Cottage country and left a mesasge to apologise, and for her to return my call Sunday evening, which she promptly did. She starts the conversation by saying Kalyx always whines and barks, which I tell her I am sorry about, but little I can do. Kalyx literally whines all the time -when we leave, go, move from one room to the other, play, walk, etc. Her whining is equivalent to that annoying tap that never ceases to drip. I have lived with it for 13 years and I am used to it.
I apologise for the barking, and continue by telling her that the walls are quite thin, as her boyfriend had indicated that he could hear me play the piano every now and then. She then responds by saying
“Yeah, we can hear you play Coldplay. One day you’ll get it right!”
Was that completely necessary? I was completely aghast that she would be so nasty. I ended the conversation there. Saw her a few times thereafter, but was cordial. Anyhow, she and her boyfriend have moved. So now, I suppose I have “Bad Neighbour” to add to my any qualities.
Granted, I should have arranged someone to come earlier and I take full responsibilty for it.
Anyhow, Saturday comes along and were all happily basking in the Parry Sound Sun. Water is warm and weather is beautiful with an ever so slight breeze. The true story begins, when one of our friends decides to take out his bag of magic mushrooms to share with everyone. Now, take note that I have only done this once before, but what I took was smaller than my fingernail, and had little to no effect. This time, they hand me something about the size of my index finger which I eat suspiciously.
What began as a nice day literally turned into a nightmare within the hour. The initial high was fine, but paranoia and hullicinations were going to be the chosen theme for the day for me. Branches, trees, grass and even the wallpaper were crawling like bugs and had me completely freaked out. I have never been in a powerless situation like that and I will never put myself there again. This of course, lasted 6 hours and at the 4th hour I get a call from my hysterical mother telling me that the neighbours had called the security and Police indicating that the dog had been abandoned and abused as she was whining and barking all morning. The police apparently came and said the dog had defecated and urinated all over the home. If the constable had taken a little more care, he would have noticed that the supposed shit were actually her toys and bones strewn about the floor.
This of course could’nt have come at the worst moment. I don’t believe I have ever been more stressed in my life. To top it off, the neighbour left a nasty letter at my door, indicating that I was abusive and that the dog barks everytime they walk down the corridor (like duh!). They called the Humane society, and upon their arrival, the neighbour accosted my mother whilst she was sitting watching Tele with kalyx. Mum of course is a petite, diminutive lady, and she immediately began to cry. The humane society lady was sweet and said that the neighbours were being ridiculous and indicated that kalyx’s mixed breeding made her a whiner, and that she would most certainly bark if someone unfamiliar walked past the front door. She pointed out that it was the nature of dogs to bark.
Now, I realise that I made a misjudgement in leaving Kalyx for an extended period of time, and tehre is no excuse for that. But the kicker was my conversation with my neighbour that Sunday night.
I called her Saturday while in Cottage country and left a mesasge to apologise, and for her to return my call Sunday evening, which she promptly did. She starts the conversation by saying Kalyx always whines and barks, which I tell her I am sorry about, but little I can do. Kalyx literally whines all the time -when we leave, go, move from one room to the other, play, walk, etc. Her whining is equivalent to that annoying tap that never ceases to drip. I have lived with it for 13 years and I am used to it.
I apologise for the barking, and continue by telling her that the walls are quite thin, as her boyfriend had indicated that he could hear me play the piano every now and then. She then responds by saying
“Yeah, we can hear you play Coldplay. One day you’ll get it right!”
Was that completely necessary? I was completely aghast that she would be so nasty. I ended the conversation there. Saw her a few times thereafter, but was cordial. Anyhow, she and her boyfriend have moved. So now, I suppose I have “Bad Neighbour” to add to my any qualities.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Letting my guard down
Let me first begin by saying that I am not jaded and bitter.
Of course, now having said that, half of you are rolling your eyes, and giving a good chuckle. But honestly, being jaded is not in my nature and it is not something I would want to be. However, when it does come to relationships, I have always been somewhat leary. Cautious might be the more appropriate word, but the idea of being in love with someone so deeply has always been somewhat foreign to me. I know, it really is a sad thing to say, but it is the truth. I came from a family, where open displays of affection were not particularly common. Family life was sometimes traumatic and painfully disturbing, and I am sure it set a psychological and emotional precedence for my life. Thinking back to all my relationships, it is hard for me to know if I was truly in love with any of them. I realise that this had a lot to do with my fear of rejection and abandonment, but that is something I have been working on and believe I am overcoming.
When you have had so many things happen in your life that either hold you down or kick you to the curb, it is hard to put trust in other people, but more so to allow trust in yourself. You find it hard to believe that you can be loved when those you had loved hurt you. It’s not rocket science. It’s emotional scarring and the need for self preservation, and it is the truth. A truth that I have realised and am still sorting out.
Having said this, I have found myself in an unusual situation. I have never dated or gone out with anyone for more than a few months whereby at some point I begin to get bored, or begin to question the validity of the relationship. I have also never lived with a partner or spent more than a few days consecutively day and night. It usually gets to that stage where you start to pick out qualites you don’t like in the person and wonder if you can live with them. You take the glue away from the relationship and it unwinds faster than you can believe. It often was a welcome thing for me, as I could then pull away and not commit to trust or love. I was far to rational and logic to believe that love was something that could fulfill something in you. Oddly enough, it has now been 3 months since I met Rib Breaker, and I have gotten cold feet once for about 10 minutes. It quickly dissappated when I saw his face and received a hug. I really hate sounding sappy and gushy, but he makes me happy and has literally been with me everyday since we met.
I admit, that I by definition have never been a very demonstrative or emotional person. Well, the truth is that I never let people believe I was. Emotions were a sign of weakness and irrational behaviour, which I realise is a somewhat chavinistic, machismo attitude. It is something that I have been working on, and again something that I attribute to that fear of letting my guard down, and trusting myself.
Luckily, Rib Breaker is easy-going, laidback, intelligent, unassuming, unpretentious, funny and incredibly sexy. He is an incredible person and so much more real than anyone else I have ever met. We don’t take anything too seriously and believe humour and laughter to be the basis for our relationship.
Yes, the early stages are often filled with gushy feelings and ridiculous displays of affection, but I am enjoying it, as I have never before. There is a passion here now that I have never felt, and I don’t want to quell it. I am curious and want to explore the options. It should be an interesting adventure.
Of course, now having said that, half of you are rolling your eyes, and giving a good chuckle. But honestly, being jaded is not in my nature and it is not something I would want to be. However, when it does come to relationships, I have always been somewhat leary. Cautious might be the more appropriate word, but the idea of being in love with someone so deeply has always been somewhat foreign to me. I know, it really is a sad thing to say, but it is the truth. I came from a family, where open displays of affection were not particularly common. Family life was sometimes traumatic and painfully disturbing, and I am sure it set a psychological and emotional precedence for my life. Thinking back to all my relationships, it is hard for me to know if I was truly in love with any of them. I realise that this had a lot to do with my fear of rejection and abandonment, but that is something I have been working on and believe I am overcoming.
When you have had so many things happen in your life that either hold you down or kick you to the curb, it is hard to put trust in other people, but more so to allow trust in yourself. You find it hard to believe that you can be loved when those you had loved hurt you. It’s not rocket science. It’s emotional scarring and the need for self preservation, and it is the truth. A truth that I have realised and am still sorting out.
Having said this, I have found myself in an unusual situation. I have never dated or gone out with anyone for more than a few months whereby at some point I begin to get bored, or begin to question the validity of the relationship. I have also never lived with a partner or spent more than a few days consecutively day and night. It usually gets to that stage where you start to pick out qualites you don’t like in the person and wonder if you can live with them. You take the glue away from the relationship and it unwinds faster than you can believe. It often was a welcome thing for me, as I could then pull away and not commit to trust or love. I was far to rational and logic to believe that love was something that could fulfill something in you. Oddly enough, it has now been 3 months since I met Rib Breaker, and I have gotten cold feet once for about 10 minutes. It quickly dissappated when I saw his face and received a hug. I really hate sounding sappy and gushy, but he makes me happy and has literally been with me everyday since we met.
I admit, that I by definition have never been a very demonstrative or emotional person. Well, the truth is that I never let people believe I was. Emotions were a sign of weakness and irrational behaviour, which I realise is a somewhat chavinistic, machismo attitude. It is something that I have been working on, and again something that I attribute to that fear of letting my guard down, and trusting myself.
Luckily, Rib Breaker is easy-going, laidback, intelligent, unassuming, unpretentious, funny and incredibly sexy. He is an incredible person and so much more real than anyone else I have ever met. We don’t take anything too seriously and believe humour and laughter to be the basis for our relationship.
Yes, the early stages are often filled with gushy feelings and ridiculous displays of affection, but I am enjoying it, as I have never before. There is a passion here now that I have never felt, and I don’t want to quell it. I am curious and want to explore the options. It should be an interesting adventure.
A New experience
Let me first begin by saying that I am not jaded and bitter.
Of course, now having said that, half of you are rolling your eyes, and giving a good chuckle. But honestly, being jaded is not in my nature and it is not something I would want to be. However, when it does come to relationships, I have always been somewhat leary. Cautious might be the more appropriate word, but the idea of being in love with someone so deeply has always been somewhat foreign to me. I know, it really is a sad thing to say, but it is the truth. I came from a family, where open displays of affection were not particularly common. Family life was sometimes traumatic and painfully disturbing, and I am sure it set a psychological and emotional precedence for my life. Thinking back to all my relationships, it is hard for me to know if I was truly in love with any of them. I realise that this had a lot to do with my fear of rejection and abandonment, but that is something I have been working on and believe I am overcoming.
When you have had so many things happen in your life that either hold you down or kick you to the curb, it is hard to put trust in other people, but more so to allow trust in yourself. You find it hard to believe that you can be loved when those you had loved hurt you. It’s not rocket science. It’s emotional scarring and the need for self preservation, and it is the truth. A truth that I have realised and am still sorting out.
Having said this, I have found myself in an unusual situation. I have never dated or gone out with anyone for more than a few months whereby at some point I begin to get bored, or begin to question the validity of the relationship. I have also never lived with a partner or spent more than a few days consecutively day and night. It usually gets to that stage where you start to pick out qualites you don’t like in the person and wonder if you can live with them. You take the glue away from the relationship and it unwinds faster than you can believe. It often was a welcome thing for me, as I could then pull away and not commit to trust or love. I was far to rational and logic to believe that love was something that could fulfill something in you. Oddly enough, it has now been 3 months since I met Rib Breaker, and I have gotten cold feet once for about 10 minutes. It quickly dissappated when I saw his face and received a hug. I really hate sounding sappy and gushy, but he makes me happy and has literally been with me everyday since we met.
I admit, that I by definition have never been a very demonstrative or emotional person. Well, the truth is that I never let people believe I was. Emotions were a sign of weakness and irrational behaviour, which I realise is a somewhat chavinistic, machismo attitude. It is something that I have been working on, and again something that I attribute to that fear of letting my guard down, and trusting myself.
Luckily, Rib Breaker is easy-going, laidback, intelligent, unassuming, unpretentious, funny and incredibly sexy. He is an incredible person and so much more real than anyone else I have ever met. We don’t take anything too seriously and believe humour and laughter to be the basis for our relationship.
Yes, the early stages are often filled with gushy feelings and ridiculous displays of affection, but I am enjoying it, as I have never before. There is a passion here now that I have never felt, that I don’t want to quell it. I am curious and want to explore the options. It should be an interesting adventure.
Of course, now having said that, half of you are rolling your eyes, and giving a good chuckle. But honestly, being jaded is not in my nature and it is not something I would want to be. However, when it does come to relationships, I have always been somewhat leary. Cautious might be the more appropriate word, but the idea of being in love with someone so deeply has always been somewhat foreign to me. I know, it really is a sad thing to say, but it is the truth. I came from a family, where open displays of affection were not particularly common. Family life was sometimes traumatic and painfully disturbing, and I am sure it set a psychological and emotional precedence for my life. Thinking back to all my relationships, it is hard for me to know if I was truly in love with any of them. I realise that this had a lot to do with my fear of rejection and abandonment, but that is something I have been working on and believe I am overcoming.
When you have had so many things happen in your life that either hold you down or kick you to the curb, it is hard to put trust in other people, but more so to allow trust in yourself. You find it hard to believe that you can be loved when those you had loved hurt you. It’s not rocket science. It’s emotional scarring and the need for self preservation, and it is the truth. A truth that I have realised and am still sorting out.
Having said this, I have found myself in an unusual situation. I have never dated or gone out with anyone for more than a few months whereby at some point I begin to get bored, or begin to question the validity of the relationship. I have also never lived with a partner or spent more than a few days consecutively day and night. It usually gets to that stage where you start to pick out qualites you don’t like in the person and wonder if you can live with them. You take the glue away from the relationship and it unwinds faster than you can believe. It often was a welcome thing for me, as I could then pull away and not commit to trust or love. I was far to rational and logic to believe that love was something that could fulfill something in you. Oddly enough, it has now been 3 months since I met Rib Breaker, and I have gotten cold feet once for about 10 minutes. It quickly dissappated when I saw his face and received a hug. I really hate sounding sappy and gushy, but he makes me happy and has literally been with me everyday since we met.
I admit, that I by definition have never been a very demonstrative or emotional person. Well, the truth is that I never let people believe I was. Emotions were a sign of weakness and irrational behaviour, which I realise is a somewhat chavinistic, machismo attitude. It is something that I have been working on, and again something that I attribute to that fear of letting my guard down, and trusting myself.
Luckily, Rib Breaker is easy-going, laidback, intelligent, unassuming, unpretentious, funny and incredibly sexy. He is an incredible person and so much more real than anyone else I have ever met. We don’t take anything too seriously and believe humour and laughter to be the basis for our relationship.
Yes, the early stages are often filled with gushy feelings and ridiculous displays of affection, but I am enjoying it, as I have never before. There is a passion here now that I have never felt, that I don’t want to quell it. I am curious and want to explore the options. It should be an interesting adventure.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Puppy Power
I've been sick and I've not been in the writing mood. I blame it on the damned power outage I had this past Sunday and my inability to stay warm for 12 hours. So instead, here are some pictures of my baby. Well, she's not a baby, she's a dog. She's 13 years old and a nut just like me. But isn't she cute?
Babooshka or is it Not Without My Daughter?
Babooshka or is it Not Without My Daughter?
Camera shy Kalyx
New booties and coat
Christmas Kalyx
Friday, January 21, 2005
Quick excerpts that I forgot to mention.
Thursday Jan 13, 2005
My hair was all nappy and big, and as close to an afro as it gets. My Project coordinator at work also made mention of it, and gave me a complex, so I had to go cut it. I went to see my Vietnamese hairdresser, and upon sitting she proceeded to ask how my holiday was. This was the conversation:
Hair Dresser: Oh, Hi Alex! Good to see you! How was your holiday?
Me: Good thanks.
HD: You see lots of family, or just see friends?
Me: Both. I had some small gatherings with friends, and had Christmas dinner with family on the 25th and on the 27th.
HD: Oh that nice. You eat a lot?
Me: Well, I guess. I cooked Christmas dinner for the family. there was lots of food, because there were 14 people. Then on the 27th, my brother and I cooked for 29 people.
HD: Oh, That a lot of people! So you eat a lot then. I can see!
Me: You can see?
HD: Yes. You more round in face, and fatter in body. Holiday fat.
Me: (staring blankly): Oh...
HD: Oh no! It look good. Much better now. You clothes fit more nicely. Before you so skinny like skeleton.
Me: (staring blankly): Oh...
The remainder of the haircut was silent. I paid her, gave her the usual tip and left.
That night I had a salad.
My hair was all nappy and big, and as close to an afro as it gets. My Project coordinator at work also made mention of it, and gave me a complex, so I had to go cut it. I went to see my Vietnamese hairdresser, and upon sitting she proceeded to ask how my holiday was. This was the conversation:
Hair Dresser: Oh, Hi Alex! Good to see you! How was your holiday?
Me: Good thanks.
HD: You see lots of family, or just see friends?
Me: Both. I had some small gatherings with friends, and had Christmas dinner with family on the 25th and on the 27th.
HD: Oh that nice. You eat a lot?
Me: Well, I guess. I cooked Christmas dinner for the family. there was lots of food, because there were 14 people. Then on the 27th, my brother and I cooked for 29 people.
HD: Oh, That a lot of people! So you eat a lot then. I can see!
Me: You can see?
HD: Yes. You more round in face, and fatter in body. Holiday fat.
Me: (staring blankly): Oh...
HD: Oh no! It look good. Much better now. You clothes fit more nicely. Before you so skinny like skeleton.
Me: (staring blankly): Oh...
The remainder of the haircut was silent. I paid her, gave her the usual tip and left.
That night I had a salad.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Scissor Sistors Concert
Scissor Sisters Concert
10:10pm @ The Guvernment
After having made 2 trips to the venue (I had to return home to get my forgotten ticket), I entered a room full of energy and excitement. The crowd was energetic, eclectic, friendly and very sexy. After listening to the opening band, we all waited with anticipation for the Scissor Sisters to come on stage. We were'nt dissappointed by their entrance. With a fanfare of chic and glam, the band came on stage to a whole lot of cheers. I don't think anyone in retro has ever pulled off skin tight polyester pants the way this motley crew has. The band exuded an incredibly sexy glam-groove that was both casual and entertaining at the same time. You couldn't help but bump and grind to the music, no matter what sex or gender you fell into. Gorgeous Jake Shears, the lead singer looked like a cross between the boy next door and a whorish dirty fag. His sex appeal was the first thing you noticed. The second thing you noticed was that he was circumcised. The third thing you noticed was the incredible voice and range of Shears.
Ms. Ana Matronic was as much a sassy diva and bitch as Shears and really got the crowd going with her antics and feistiness.
These guys have style and presence and really know how to rally up the crowd. I was not immune and found myself dancing and grinding with both girls and guys. It goes without saying that the crowd was totally sexed up by the end of the night. I had to tell 2 girls I was gay when they had their hands wrapped around my ass, but that didn't stop them, and by that point I didn't particularly care.
The Scissor Sisters, cross not only the sexual boundaries of homoeroticism, but also the boundaries of music, often incorporating the sounds and styles of Abba, Bee Gees, Freddie Mercury and Elton John. What is phenomenal about their music and their stage presence is that they palatably combine 70's funk, 80's tackiness with over the top theatrics, that have completely upstaged a music scene that has become stagnant and a bore with tacky pop bands. It's no wonder that they have been labelled U.k's #1 band and album.
I look forward to their next album and tour. Won't miss it if it is -50 celsius.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Parental Phone calls
I just got off a very frustrating and confusing call with my mother that went something like this:
Me: Hi Mum.
Mum: Oh Hi! How did you know it was me?
Me: I always know it’s you mum. I have caller ID.
Mum (in a perplexed tone): Oh yes. I always forget. I just wanted to call and say hello and to tell you I just got the new phone and am testing it to see if it works. But, I can’t tell if it does?
Me: Umm, you’re talking to me on it right now?
Mum: Yes. But it is so confusing with all those instructions and terminology I am unfamiliar with!
Me: But mom, you’re talking to me right now using the phone, so it must work!
Mum: Oh?...Oh! I know that, but it was confusing all the same. I just didn’t know what they meant by handset and base until sometime later! Handset is the cordless thing, and the base is that thingamajig that sits on the table. Did you know that?
Me: Umm Yes Mum, I did know that. Wait, I thought you were speaking about the new cell phone you ordered?
Mum: No. The new phone for my house I bought. Did you know I also cancelled my Bell voicemail? This phone has everything on it like a message recorder and caller ID and it was a good deal. I just wish it were simpler to figure out.
Me: So, did you get the voicemail part working?
Mum: No, not yet. I don’t know how to do it. Do you? Oh, did I tell you your father is at your brothers place downtown? He went there to watch the house as the construction people do the repairs.
Me: Yes, he already called me to tell me he was there….bored. (that was another interesting conversation!)
Mum: Oh your father is always like that. Did you know that I cancelled my Rogers internet and changed it to the cheaper one which was originally $48.00 and is now only $30.00? I think $48.00 is a lot and I don’t need it for my emailing…..
The conversation went on like this for another 3-4 minutes. Even if I had been paying attention to her and remembered the rest of the disjointed conversation, I wouldn’t bore you with it. I love my mother, but she has a wonderful knack for calling while I am busy at work to talk about a whole lot of nothing.
She’s cute, I have to give her that.
Me: Hi Mum.
Mum: Oh Hi! How did you know it was me?
Me: I always know it’s you mum. I have caller ID.
Mum (in a perplexed tone): Oh yes. I always forget. I just wanted to call and say hello and to tell you I just got the new phone and am testing it to see if it works. But, I can’t tell if it does?
Me: Umm, you’re talking to me on it right now?
Mum: Yes. But it is so confusing with all those instructions and terminology I am unfamiliar with!
Me: But mom, you’re talking to me right now using the phone, so it must work!
Mum: Oh?...Oh! I know that, but it was confusing all the same. I just didn’t know what they meant by handset and base until sometime later! Handset is the cordless thing, and the base is that thingamajig that sits on the table. Did you know that?
Me: Umm Yes Mum, I did know that. Wait, I thought you were speaking about the new cell phone you ordered?
Mum: No. The new phone for my house I bought. Did you know I also cancelled my Bell voicemail? This phone has everything on it like a message recorder and caller ID and it was a good deal. I just wish it were simpler to figure out.
Me: So, did you get the voicemail part working?
Mum: No, not yet. I don’t know how to do it. Do you? Oh, did I tell you your father is at your brothers place downtown? He went there to watch the house as the construction people do the repairs.
Me: Yes, he already called me to tell me he was there….bored. (that was another interesting conversation!)
Mum: Oh your father is always like that. Did you know that I cancelled my Rogers internet and changed it to the cheaper one which was originally $48.00 and is now only $30.00? I think $48.00 is a lot and I don’t need it for my emailing…..
The conversation went on like this for another 3-4 minutes. Even if I had been paying attention to her and remembered the rest of the disjointed conversation, I wouldn’t bore you with it. I love my mother, but she has a wonderful knack for calling while I am busy at work to talk about a whole lot of nothing.
She’s cute, I have to give her that.
Thursday, January 6, 2005
Dissappointments
I've realised with some hesitation, that I am to the Chinese what the anti-Christ is to the Christians.
No, I was not some demon child bent on raising hell (though some may disagree), but I also was not what my parents had in mind when they had a child. I think every Asian parent believes that their new bundle of joy will also bring them a bundle of cash; That their newly swaddled child would bring wattles of cash; That their bouncing baby would study to become a successful doctor, businessperson, dentist or lawyer.
Little did they know the shameful path I would take - I am what you would call a disappointment to my parents. well, maybe dissappointment is a harsh word, but I definitely did not maake them proud to be parents. I am sure they would not say this to my face, but like most Asians, would do it in gossip behind my back.
Instead of a successful son in business, married to a beautiful fruitful wife, with 3 children (mostly boys), I turned out to be a whorish fag, who studied Psychology & Art History and theory in University. I suppose I redeemed some of my parents respect when I went back to college for I.T studies, and now work as a data specialist, but the fact of the matter remains that I did not turn out the way they wanted. My older brother (god bless him) is a successful Analyst, married to a beautiful kind wife, with a new home, who is I am sure well on his way to conceiving a child in the next few years (well his wife, not him). The pressure has been somewhat alleviated, and I am glad for it. Nevertheless, I feel terrible that the entire genealogical onus is now on my brother to be the one that bears our fathers’ name.
Anyhow, it was shameful enough that I didn’t pursue medicine, but as a child I was horrendous at arithmetic, and every person knows that Asians are mathematical geniuses. Sadly, my year-end average would still have been a fail if I reversed the digits. In an effort to make me more Asian-friendly for presentation to friends and family, my parents put me in piano studies, which again was a foolish attempt on their part. After 7-8 years of study, I quit upon reaching Grade 3. I was not a very astute pupil.
My parents during family or social gatherings would try to stay quiet about my studies and piano lessons. However, Asian families love to compare their children and highlight each childs' achievements in an effort to determine the hierarchy of their childs' intelligence. Of course when doing such a comparison, one always starts with the best or most intelligent child. I still remember one such conversation:
Mrs. Li: Oh yes, son number one now in gifted class. Get straight A’s and finish Royal conservatory for piano. Maybe now study violin. Son number two now get scholarship for school. He also play at Kiwanis festival. Win prize for piano! How your son’s do? Must be finish piano now after 6 years play!
Mum & Dad: Well, Justin is doing really well with straight A’s. His piano classes are also going very well, and he is now in the gifted class as well! He is also very good at sports, and has joined the math and chess clubs.
Mrs. Li: Oh fantastic! How about Son number 2?
M&D: Yes, well Son number 2 is a very...what would you say he is? Um, a very creative child. He also has quite the fascinating character, with many interesting qualities.
You know it’s bad when your parents are trying to inflate or boost your achievements by using adjectives to make you sound less retarded. It's like pimping your resume to make you sound more educated, experienced or qualified.
I still remember Report Card Day, when report cards were handed out, for us to give to our parents. Who does such a thing? I was terrified, and upon opening it to see a plethora of C’s, D’s and the occasional E, I decided it would be a brilliant idea to use Liquid paper to cover them over and write in a more acceptable grade. Completely oblivious to my own stupidity, I also decided it would be completely unnoticeable if I liquid papered the scathing comments section:
In a way, I feel sorry for my parents. To have dreams of a successful child dashed on the rocks of reality. A number of years ago my parents confided in me that they actually thought I was retarded (their words, not mine). Apparently, as the story goes, when I first came to Canada at 9 months old, I would bang my head in the crib so violently like an autistic child that the crib would move across the wooden floors to the other side of the room. This story brings no end of laughter at Christmas parties and family events where they reminisce about our childhood follies. I think they actually tell the story to comfort themselves and say,
No, I was not some demon child bent on raising hell (though some may disagree), but I also was not what my parents had in mind when they had a child. I think every Asian parent believes that their new bundle of joy will also bring them a bundle of cash; That their newly swaddled child would bring wattles of cash; That their bouncing baby would study to become a successful doctor, businessperson, dentist or lawyer.
Little did they know the shameful path I would take - I am what you would call a disappointment to my parents. well, maybe dissappointment is a harsh word, but I definitely did not maake them proud to be parents. I am sure they would not say this to my face, but like most Asians, would do it in gossip behind my back.
Instead of a successful son in business, married to a beautiful fruitful wife, with 3 children (mostly boys), I turned out to be a whorish fag, who studied Psychology & Art History and theory in University. I suppose I redeemed some of my parents respect when I went back to college for I.T studies, and now work as a data specialist, but the fact of the matter remains that I did not turn out the way they wanted. My older brother (god bless him) is a successful Analyst, married to a beautiful kind wife, with a new home, who is I am sure well on his way to conceiving a child in the next few years (well his wife, not him). The pressure has been somewhat alleviated, and I am glad for it. Nevertheless, I feel terrible that the entire genealogical onus is now on my brother to be the one that bears our fathers’ name.
Anyhow, it was shameful enough that I didn’t pursue medicine, but as a child I was horrendous at arithmetic, and every person knows that Asians are mathematical geniuses. Sadly, my year-end average would still have been a fail if I reversed the digits. In an effort to make me more Asian-friendly for presentation to friends and family, my parents put me in piano studies, which again was a foolish attempt on their part. After 7-8 years of study, I quit upon reaching Grade 3. I was not a very astute pupil.
My parents during family or social gatherings would try to stay quiet about my studies and piano lessons. However, Asian families love to compare their children and highlight each childs' achievements in an effort to determine the hierarchy of their childs' intelligence. Of course when doing such a comparison, one always starts with the best or most intelligent child. I still remember one such conversation:
Mrs. Li: Oh yes, son number one now in gifted class. Get straight A’s and finish Royal conservatory for piano. Maybe now study violin. Son number two now get scholarship for school. He also play at Kiwanis festival. Win prize for piano! How your son’s do? Must be finish piano now after 6 years play!
Mum & Dad: Well, Justin is doing really well with straight A’s. His piano classes are also going very well, and he is now in the gifted class as well! He is also very good at sports, and has joined the math and chess clubs.
Mrs. Li: Oh fantastic! How about Son number 2?
M&D: Yes, well Son number 2 is a very...what would you say he is? Um, a very creative child. He also has quite the fascinating character, with many interesting qualities.
You know it’s bad when your parents are trying to inflate or boost your achievements by using adjectives to make you sound less retarded. It's like pimping your resume to make you sound more educated, experienced or qualified.
I still remember Report Card Day, when report cards were handed out, for us to give to our parents. Who does such a thing? I was terrified, and upon opening it to see a plethora of C’s, D’s and the occasional E, I decided it would be a brilliant idea to use Liquid paper to cover them over and write in a more acceptable grade. Completely oblivious to my own stupidity, I also decided it would be completely unnoticeable if I liquid papered the scathing comments section:
AlexI looked upon my handy work and thought how brilliant I truly was, and how my teacher was more of an idiot for failing to see my hidden genius. I thought the mark of an intelligent man was in how they covered up a major fuck up. Of course, my parents weren’t stupid. They knew something was up, upon opening an already opened report card to see half the report card covered in crackling lumpy liquid paper. It might have worked a little better had I given the liquid paper time to dry, instead of trying to score the letter into the moist liquid paper like a kid carving his name in wet cement. Needless-to-say, the whole plot blew up in my face., although bright,is, often lazy and unwilling to do homework. Hislack offocus is evident in hislack ofrewards and accomplishments in class.
In a way, I feel sorry for my parents. To have dreams of a successful child dashed on the rocks of reality. A number of years ago my parents confided in me that they actually thought I was retarded (their words, not mine). Apparently, as the story goes, when I first came to Canada at 9 months old, I would bang my head in the crib so violently like an autistic child that the crib would move across the wooden floors to the other side of the room. This story brings no end of laughter at Christmas parties and family events where they reminisce about our childhood follies. I think they actually tell the story to comfort themselves and say,
See, how retarded and crazy he was? Now, he is doing quite well. We really must have been exceptional parents, because we took the retarded ness out of him. We are truly amazing parents!
Yes, Mum and Dad, you truly are! Thanks and I love you!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Still at work
So, here I am... still at work.
I was supposed to have the day off, but decided to come in to finish off some projects, with the intention of leaving at noon. Noon comes along, I pack my stuff and head out into a wet, wintry, slushy, rainy Toronto. I wander about and get my haircut, enjoying the notion that the rest of the day will be for me. Then, I get an email from a client crying that the sky has fallen, desperate for help.
I have no recourse but to return to work to finish things off. My colleagues who were supposed to be working buggered off before me.
I am in a rotten mood and it's getting worse. My plans of champagne and Oprah are as muddied as the Toronto streets. My cool exterior still gives off a pleasant facade, but I feel like pissing on everyone who walks by.
I hope this drama ends quick, before I go ballistic.
I was supposed to have the day off, but decided to come in to finish off some projects, with the intention of leaving at noon. Noon comes along, I pack my stuff and head out into a wet, wintry, slushy, rainy Toronto. I wander about and get my haircut, enjoying the notion that the rest of the day will be for me. Then, I get an email from a client crying that the sky has fallen, desperate for help.
I have no recourse but to return to work to finish things off. My colleagues who were supposed to be working buggered off before me.
I am in a rotten mood and it's getting worse. My plans of champagne and Oprah are as muddied as the Toronto streets. My cool exterior still gives off a pleasant facade, but I feel like pissing on everyone who walks by.
I hope this drama ends quick, before I go ballistic.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Wrapping Up
I was at the LCBO (Liquor store) today amongst the masses purchasing last minute party favours and gifts for colleagues. The place was a zoo, but I had no choice as I had to purcahse some Cognac for a colleague. When I got to the cash, the cashier asked if I wanted the gift wrapped for $2.50. Having no time to do it myself, I agreed.
I waited for 10 minutes when a slightly confused guy came up to the wrapping desk to assist me. The first words out of his mouth were “I have never wrapped anything before”. I decided to take matters into my own hands and told him to stand aside and I would wrap my own gift.
He made no attempt to disagree as the lineup was getting larger. In fact, it became quite the tutorial as I deftly wrapped, ribboned and parcelled my package. As I finished, the other waiting customers asked if I could wrap theirs instead of the fellow. I told them I didn’t work there, so I helped him on the next package and gave him some tips then left.
He followed my leave with a “thanks, how’d you learn to do that?”, with which I replied “ I’m gay, it’s hard coded into my genes”.
I could hear the laughter as I left.
I waited for 10 minutes when a slightly confused guy came up to the wrapping desk to assist me. The first words out of his mouth were “I have never wrapped anything before”. I decided to take matters into my own hands and told him to stand aside and I would wrap my own gift.
He made no attempt to disagree as the lineup was getting larger. In fact, it became quite the tutorial as I deftly wrapped, ribboned and parcelled my package. As I finished, the other waiting customers asked if I could wrap theirs instead of the fellow. I told them I didn’t work there, so I helped him on the next package and gave him some tips then left.
He followed my leave with a “thanks, how’d you learn to do that?”, with which I replied “ I’m gay, it’s hard coded into my genes”.
I could hear the laughter as I left.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Random Thoughts on a Random Day from a Random Individual
Random Thought 1
So I haven't done any Christmas shopping as yet. I don't think I'm actually exchanging anything with anyone, other than my parents and brother. That should be easy. I'll give my parents money and my brother vintage wine. But honestly, the whole Christmas shopping process is a headache and is what I consider an ordeal. I don't mind the idea of it, since it has been romanticised so much - the snow falling as you drink cocoa and window shop. However, in reality, it's all about frantic shoppers, commercialsim and stress. Not to mention, overheating in that wool sweater, and smelling like some stank wooly mammoth. On a side note, I do like to wrap gifts and decorate. My big thing is to wrap using a glue gun, so there are no visible tape marks...anal I know.
Random Thought 2
I bought a pair of Steve Madden shoes on November 17 from a shoe shop on Yonge street. The shoes promptly fell apart by December 01, so I returned them this weekend to find out what they could do for me. The owner and sales people were all speaking Cantonese (a language I cannot speak). They looked at me and I could tell they were debating the issue and questioning my validity, so I started pretending that I knew what they were talking about, just in case they were going to talk dirty or sneaky. Besides, it was my attempt at making them feel like I was one of them. I felt cheap doing it, but it seemed to work, so they took the shoes and my number down to investigate. I just hope that when I return they don't start talking to me in tongues, cause I won't understand a word of it.
Random Thought 3
I made a big batch of beef stew the other day. Lots of veggies and thickened with corn starch. The problem is that I don't think I can eat anything made with corn anymore. It gives me gas galore. Yesterday I was flatulating so much that my dog left the room in a huff because of the smell. This from a dog that has been seen eating a drunks vomit in the park. Rib Breaker, who was over last night said it smelled like a gerbil had crawled up my ass and died.
Random Thought 4
I brought in 5 bags of chocolates, one Friday about 2 weeks ago. By Tuesday all 5 bags of chocolates were gone. I was the most popular guy on the floor during that time. Now, everyone keeps walking by and asking when I will get more. All I could think was,
It was a one time thing you cheap bastards. Howz about you'se getz some chocolates and feed your sorry fat asses instead?
But that wouldn't be Christian of me.
Random Thought 5
I bought a Norfolk Christmas Tree. Just hope it doesn't die like the one I bought last year. That tree dried up like a... well... like a dried up tree. Rib Breaker finds it all very amusing since he doesn't really care for Christmas and all the hoopla associated to it. I am off to his work Christmas party tonight. Sort of odd, since we have been only seeing each other for 3 weeks now.
Random Thought 6
What do Jewish people do on Christmas Day, when everything is closed? It seems somewhat unfair doesn't it? From what I have observed, going out for Chinese Food seems to be the norm, as are the movies.
On a side note, why don't we get to celebrate and get Channukah, Rosh ha-Shanah or Yom Kippur off as holidays? When I was in University, we had all those days off. I was considered an honourary Jewish brother by some friends and was even invited to dinner at one friends family home once for the start of Channukah. Upon arriving, I was somewhat surprised to see a turkey and honeyed ham sittng on the table. There was of course the traditional matza ball soup and a beef brisket, but my shock was evident enough to elicit a remark from the mother who said something to the effect of "tradition shmadition, pork tastes good."
Random Thought 7
I will probably go to hell for laughing at this, but I couldn't resist not sharing it with you. It's a wonderful Christmas Jingle to help us remember those less fortunate than us.
So I haven't done any Christmas shopping as yet. I don't think I'm actually exchanging anything with anyone, other than my parents and brother. That should be easy. I'll give my parents money and my brother vintage wine. But honestly, the whole Christmas shopping process is a headache and is what I consider an ordeal. I don't mind the idea of it, since it has been romanticised so much - the snow falling as you drink cocoa and window shop. However, in reality, it's all about frantic shoppers, commercialsim and stress. Not to mention, overheating in that wool sweater, and smelling like some stank wooly mammoth. On a side note, I do like to wrap gifts and decorate. My big thing is to wrap using a glue gun, so there are no visible tape marks...anal I know.
Random Thought 2
I bought a pair of Steve Madden shoes on November 17 from a shoe shop on Yonge street. The shoes promptly fell apart by December 01, so I returned them this weekend to find out what they could do for me. The owner and sales people were all speaking Cantonese (a language I cannot speak). They looked at me and I could tell they were debating the issue and questioning my validity, so I started pretending that I knew what they were talking about, just in case they were going to talk dirty or sneaky. Besides, it was my attempt at making them feel like I was one of them. I felt cheap doing it, but it seemed to work, so they took the shoes and my number down to investigate. I just hope that when I return they don't start talking to me in tongues, cause I won't understand a word of it.
Random Thought 3
I made a big batch of beef stew the other day. Lots of veggies and thickened with corn starch. The problem is that I don't think I can eat anything made with corn anymore. It gives me gas galore. Yesterday I was flatulating so much that my dog left the room in a huff because of the smell. This from a dog that has been seen eating a drunks vomit in the park. Rib Breaker, who was over last night said it smelled like a gerbil had crawled up my ass and died.
Random Thought 4
I brought in 5 bags of chocolates, one Friday about 2 weeks ago. By Tuesday all 5 bags of chocolates were gone. I was the most popular guy on the floor during that time. Now, everyone keeps walking by and asking when I will get more. All I could think was,
It was a one time thing you cheap bastards. Howz about you'se getz some chocolates and feed your sorry fat asses instead?
But that wouldn't be Christian of me.
Random Thought 5
I bought a Norfolk Christmas Tree. Just hope it doesn't die like the one I bought last year. That tree dried up like a... well... like a dried up tree. Rib Breaker finds it all very amusing since he doesn't really care for Christmas and all the hoopla associated to it. I am off to his work Christmas party tonight. Sort of odd, since we have been only seeing each other for 3 weeks now.
Random Thought 6
What do Jewish people do on Christmas Day, when everything is closed? It seems somewhat unfair doesn't it? From what I have observed, going out for Chinese Food seems to be the norm, as are the movies.
On a side note, why don't we get to celebrate and get Channukah, Rosh ha-Shanah or Yom Kippur off as holidays? When I was in University, we had all those days off. I was considered an honourary Jewish brother by some friends and was even invited to dinner at one friends family home once for the start of Channukah. Upon arriving, I was somewhat surprised to see a turkey and honeyed ham sittng on the table. There was of course the traditional matza ball soup and a beef brisket, but my shock was evident enough to elicit a remark from the mother who said something to the effect of "tradition shmadition, pork tastes good."
Random Thought 7
I will probably go to hell for laughing at this, but I couldn't resist not sharing it with you. It's a wonderful Christmas Jingle to help us remember those less fortunate than us.
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
Caption Contest - idea gratefully stolen from Wanda Wisdom
Since having had so much fun commenting on Wandas site, I decided it was high time to pick out the most atrocious celebrity outfits and poke a bit of fun at them. It wasn't hard since they were from the same damned actress/skank.
Now Bai Ling is apparently a famous Asian actress, but man is she ever fugly! What a shame and embarrassment to my people. So come up with a caption for each of the 3 pics, and you too can win a personal fashion consultation from her stylist! The winner will be chosen based on wit and inappropriateness.
I see Paris, I see France, I can see your....wait, she ain't wearing any underpants!
Asian Trash?
Tuesday, December 7, 2004
S.R.I
It's Tuesday morning and I am still smarting from a weekend of fun and frolic. I have used the term "no pain, no gain" often enough, but little did I realise that I would take it to the 9th degree. The end result is that I have some serious S.R.I.
Sex Related Injuries
It seems my birthday weekend was one to remember. It also seems that with age, not only do your bones go brittle, but your brain atrophies into stupidity.
Without getting into the sordid details, lets just say that I was feeling a serious amount of pain in my upper chest (rib) area on Sunday night/Monday morning. I already had a doctors appointment booked for 9:45am on Monday, so I took the opportunity to chat with my doctor about it. It went like this:
Doc: So how are you doing?
Me: Pretty good, but I have a question before anything else.
Doc: Alright, shoot.
Me: How do you know if you have a broken or fractured rib?
Doc: (with eyebrows raised): Umm, well, you would feel a sharp pain as you breathe and tenderness where the trauma took place. Now may I ask you a question?
Me: Shoot.
Doc: Now, I have to question why my patient would be asking me that. Lift your shirt up and lets have a look.
I didn't embellish too much about my sexual adventures, but he got the idea and left it alone. As I lifted my shirt up, wincing in pain, my doc let out a "Holy shit, what the hell were you up to?" He sent me for X-Rays, where we have now determined that I have a possible fractured upper anterior rib. Though I may be smarting from my stupidity, both my partner in crime and I have been having a grand 'ol time laughing about it. You can really only laugh in such situations.
My partner in crime, though also a little sore, came out of it unscathed and has been feeling terribly guilty. Tending to my aches and pains wth massages at night, he wakes me every morning with a warm hug and a kiss to the nose and forehead before he goes off to work. It seems to make the world of difference.
Sex Related Injuries
It seems my birthday weekend was one to remember. It also seems that with age, not only do your bones go brittle, but your brain atrophies into stupidity.
Without getting into the sordid details, lets just say that I was feeling a serious amount of pain in my upper chest (rib) area on Sunday night/Monday morning. I already had a doctors appointment booked for 9:45am on Monday, so I took the opportunity to chat with my doctor about it. It went like this:
Doc: So how are you doing?
Me: Pretty good, but I have a question before anything else.
Doc: Alright, shoot.
Me: How do you know if you have a broken or fractured rib?
Doc: (with eyebrows raised): Umm, well, you would feel a sharp pain as you breathe and tenderness where the trauma took place. Now may I ask you a question?
Me: Shoot.
Doc: Now, I have to question why my patient would be asking me that. Lift your shirt up and lets have a look.
I didn't embellish too much about my sexual adventures, but he got the idea and left it alone. As I lifted my shirt up, wincing in pain, my doc let out a "Holy shit, what the hell were you up to?" He sent me for X-Rays, where we have now determined that I have a possible fractured upper anterior rib. Though I may be smarting from my stupidity, both my partner in crime and I have been having a grand 'ol time laughing about it. You can really only laugh in such situations.
My partner in crime, though also a little sore, came out of it unscathed and has been feeling terribly guilty. Tending to my aches and pains wth massages at night, he wakes me every morning with a warm hug and a kiss to the nose and forehead before he goes off to work. It seems to make the world of difference.
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