Friday, July 29, 2005

The Cable Guy

I finally succumbed to purchasing the Rogers Cable PVR (Personal Video Recorder) and Digital Box. My condominium recently signed onto a new contractual agreement to provde free boxes to all residents, so that they in turn could then choose what they wanted. Part of this includes 2 months of free service, which RB and I soon realised is a complete waste of time. 800 plus channels, all repeating each other, so that I now have 15 HGTV, 20 Discovery channels, 40 CTV news channels, etc....you catch my drift.

The cable guy came by last Saturday morning at 9:15am. I requested a call in advance as the appointment was from 8-11am, and my door buzzer doesn't work due to the install of Rogers Digital Phone Service (DPS). Four technicians came for that one on 3 separate occassions to try to repair it...unsuccessfully. So for about 3 weeks my buzzer hasn't worked. Anyhow, RB and I are still half asleep, cuddling, when we hear a knock at the door. I rouse myself out of bed and slip on a pair of pants and a shirt, and shut the bedroom door behind me. I go open the door and this is what happens:

Me: Oh hey. I thought I asked you guys to call me.
CG: Sorry man, forgot my cell at home. (grins) You just wake up?
Me: Yeah, just a little groggy.
CG: (wider grin) Heh heh! Rough night eh? (and kinda nudges me with his elbow giving the wink wink)
Me: Um, yeah. Not too bad.
CG: No worries, I'll be quick. So where you want the boxes.
Me: One here and the other in the bedroom.

I point to the bedroom, and just as I do so, RB opens the door and the 2 look at each other. Cable Guys' mouth drops to the floor and almost drops the Digital box. RB looks at him and says "Morning". From this point on, the guy barely could form a sentence and left the boxes on the floor and left. RB and I laughed at his ignorance.

Well, it seems that in his haste to get out of our Humble Homsexual Home, he forgot to send my work order in for completion. My PVR suddenly stopped working last night so I called Cable Service. After going through the VERY annoying automated speech system (Dantallion had a similar experience with Bell), I finally got the guy on the phone.

John: Thank you for calling Rogers Cable, my name is John. How can I help you?
Me: Hi John. My PVR is acting up. It was working fine prior to today. I seem to get a few channels, but everything other channel indicates I am 'unauthorized'.
John: I'm sorry to hear that. We can fix that for you no problem. I just need a few details. Can I get you phone number, address, and postal code.
Me: (I give him the required info)
John: Well I see from here that you have a digital box. Is that correct?
Me: Yes. I had a Digital box and a PVR delivered last Saturday at 9:15am.
John: I don't see that you ordered a PVR. Where did you pick it up, and when?
Me: Ummm, I just said that they were delivered to me last Saturday at 9:15am.
John: No. I don't see that. Are you sure someone didn't pick it up?
Me: John, I think I am pretty sure about that, seeing that it was delivered to my condo by the Cable Guy at 9:15am..
John: Well, I'll need to look into this. Can yuo hold please?
John: (Puts me on hold for a minute & returns) Oh yes, it now says you have 2 digital boxes. What seems to be the problem?

Me: They are not 2 digital boxes. I have 1 digital box in my bedroom which works fine. I also have a PVR that is in my Living space that does not work. As mentioned, I get a few channels and the others say 'unauthorized'.
John: I see. I am sorry to hear that. Is the Digital Box working normally?
Me: Yes, as mentioned, it works fine.
John: And I'm sorry, but were these 2 boxes working when they were installed?
Me: (sigh) Yes John, they were.
John: I'm looking at your account, adn it appears that it has not been fullfilled.
Me: Sorry, what has not been fullfilled?
John: Your work order, Sir.
Me: Well, can you rectify this and fullfill this?
John: Yes, I can. However, before I transfer you, is there anything else I can assist you with?

Me: Transfer me to where?
John: Oh sorry. It's just this is not something I can assist you with, so I will have to connect you to Repair.
Me: I thought you said you could fix this?
John: No Sir, I cannot, onl;y repair can assist you with this.
Me: (sigh) fine. go ahead.

John: Oh, but is there anything else I can assist you with before I transfer you?
Me: Not unless you can fix my PVR, John.
John: Um, no sir, I cannot.
Me: Well then, I guess you can transfer me.

I then get another John in Repair who tries for 10 minutes to fix my issue - fails miserably, then decides he needs to transfer me to another Fullfillment where I was supposed to have been transferred. I then get Network Support Group East (NSG-East) servicing Quebec and Atlantic Canada, en Francais, and am told they cannot assist me because I have the wrong region and the wrong department.

I hang up and then have to go through it all again.

I did finally get it working, after 4 calls and 1 1/2 hours on the phone.

21 comments:

St. Dickeybird said...

Aaaarrrggghh! Rogers' phone-in is awful. I had to go through that last week to cancel my service. It took four people, 35 minutes, and an arguement with Mr. AutomationVoice.
And for the record, using speech-recognition automation, it doesn't recognize "a real f**king person, you smarmy prick!"

epicurist said...

Dickey - I was pretty frustrated as well, but did end up getting a very helpful and sympathetic CSR, who let me go, and called me back.

congeewoo said...

oh that totally sucks! i honestly think that these big companies should train their staff better, it really is fustrating to be passed onto 4 different ppl in four differnt departments to try and sort out one little mistake. makes me want to tell the president of the company to call as a customer with a problem and see what happens.

TCho said...

One of my friends got so angry with Hewlett Packard Customer Service that she just went to www.hp.com and found the first name of a real person she could find. She looked this person up in the phonebook and called her at home and then proceeded to scream and yell because she was so frustrated. Turns out she called the CEO!

epicurist said...

Spoony - Ted Rogers would likely get there fairly quickly.

tcho - Well, I would never go to that extreme. I figure one bad CSR, or experience doesn't warrant my lambasting everyone in the company. Though, that is a funny story.

congeewoo said...

well, that is if ted rogers tells the CSR who he is. if he said he is john smith, it should be a differnt story

jadedmonkey said...

Coulda been worse... After numerous attempts at getting my cable installed, the Rogers guy shows up and guess what, he was a JW and decided to since he was so conveniently in my home that it was his chance at saving my soul. arrrrrghhh! all i wanted was for the guy to install my hispeed cable so i can dload some porn and instead i got a long lecture about armageddon.

Anonymous said...

I really think the fault lies with you for being gay in the first place.

Snooze said...

I switched from Bell after a HUGE fight with them and although Rogers has some issues, I prefer their customer service. Like Epi, I've had some long and frustrating calls, but ended up with some stellar CSRs.

I also agree with Mikevil. How dare you and RB throw cableguy's world into a tizzy! Poor guy was hoping to fantasize about you banging some chick and my goodness, what will he do now?

CoffeeDog said...

Cable hell.

Jess said...

When Marc and I were first dating, he lived in Atlanta, and I was here in New York. We'd see each other every few weeks.

One time, we spent a long weekend at The Palace Hotel in Manhattan. At checkout time, the bellboy came to get our bags. He smiled at me as I opened the door. Then he saw Marc sitting on the edge of the single king-size bed in the room and a look of near-panic washed over him. He grabbed our bags and pushed his luggage cart down the hall at high speed. By the time we got to the elevators, the doors had already closed behind him, and he was gone.

Your cable guy reminded me of that. I think some straight guys think 1) they're all worth jumping (far from the truth, of course) and 2) we can't control ourselves and will rape them if we have the opportunity. The poor boys are sad and deluded.

myke said...

that is why i've failed to upgrade my cable to a digital box. i still have it run directly thru the dvd player. i don't get as many channels but i didn't have to call the cable to get it turned on when i moved!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha poor traumatized cableguy. But...was it a rough night? (lascivious grin goes here). Hee.

And I'm glad you did get it sorted out. I just had to cancel everything and am now trying desperately to get some sort of television hookup that gives me more than two fuzzy channels but without a credit card I'm sorta fucked.

epicurist said...

Spoony - True enough...

Sister - All these channels are making me dizzy.

Jaded - I would have had some extra fun with the JW. Did you buy a Watch Tower magazine?

Mike - Yeah me too. Damn being gay...boo hoo! :)

Russ - I get the same calls for a defunct phone of 4 years. LOL

Snooze - They offer a great network service. Every company has issues, right?

Coffee - Well it was more like purgatory...but it all worked out.

Jess - That's exactly my point. He actually had the gall to think I was hot for him...I'd rather eat my own vomit...truly.

Ethan - Welcome, and I am sure he does. It's a big conspiracy, don't you know?

Myke - I did that for a while as well, but now RB can hook up his Play Station as well. And the boxes were free, so I don't really care.

Daelyn - No, not a rough night, just tired...sad to say. But it was a rough afternoon (lascivious grin goes here). hee!

Anonymous said...

WooHoo!

Jase said...

Oh how I love CSR stories.

Glad it worked out in the end though!

epicurist said...

Daelyn - Weell, I just kinda laid there and let him have his way...I was hot and too tired to work for it ;-p

Bees - There are some in every bunch. I should have licked my lips and done a little grind when he was there.

Jase - It did, and I am glad.

Jennirhiow said...

hahahahaaaa... sounds like our system here too... only it's in malay!! hahahahaaa.. i'm sorry. glad u got everything fine.

EssentialStephen said...

I hate Rogers myself too...they are the slowest and most unhelpful customer service people. I stick with it though because it is marginally better than Bell and less expensive....how sad is that for a supposed free economy of competition?!

dantallion said...

I agree with Mikevil. You just shouldn't have been gay. It's way too much work.

Stuff like John, your customer 'service' guy makes my bloodpressure explode - I just want to lash out and pull all the hair around their nipples.

epicurist said...

Jennirhiow - It's a conspiracy amongst all companies that provide tech or CSR support.

EssentialStephen - Well CRTC does govern these things now, it's just that Rogers, Bell and Sprint etc own most of the infrastructure built.

Dantallion - " I just want to lash out and pull all the hair around their nipples"?

You say such the sweetest things. What if he likes that? Maybe you will get better service!