Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Readership Discretion Advised

Fair warning - If you don't want to read about sexual content, don't go further.
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Is sex really all that important, and how much do we really need? I used to think that I was a hyper-sexualised being, but since meeting Rib Breaker, I am beginning to think otherwise. Here are a few examples of Rib Breaker-isms:

- I often wake up to RB on top of me, trying to get me aroused. This of course can be at any hour of the morning or night.

- I often continue to pretend to be asleep, which he takes as a fantasy game, and makes him even more aroused. He thinks I am trying to play "hard to get", when in fact he is the only one "to get hard".

- I cannot change, shower, brush my teeth or cook, or do dishes without him coming behind me to grab my ass to get busy with me. I think it arouses him, to see that he can get sex, and have food and clean clothes within 1 hour. I am a muti-tasker.

- When he wakes me up in the morning with his prodding and grabbing, I tell him in a gruff parental voice, "Alex cannot come out to play!". His reply is "That's fine. Can I come in to play?"

- RB's belief is that if he cums a lot, it means I have been neglecting him. Apparently, the amount also proves his fidelity and monogamy to me.

- This past weekend, I took him to the Molson Indy as a pre-birthday gift. It was awesome, but it made him hornier than expected. Now if he watches Speed TV and sees me in the room, he gets aroused. I am thinking of cancelling Cable.

10 comments:

St. Dickeybird said...

I think I identify with RB pretty well. I can only think of one partner that had a higher sex drive than me.
Enjoy it while you can, as you start to cohabitate, sex will probably lose it's frequency.
And then when you're both old, toothless and impotent, you'll look back lovingly on those regular pokings.
:)

Paddy Johnson said...

I also can identify with rib breaker...I'm in the dickeybird camp. I find it extremely hard to find a partner who has a sex drive equal to mine. It's super annoying.

epicurist said...

Trust me people, I ain't complaining (too much)...I guess I am playing hard to get a bit, but it gets a little difficult to pull the roast out of the oven, when RB is trying to put his in! :)

Jess said...

I have that same sex drive, and Marc is often in your position. He has other things to do! :)

Snooze said...

Mmmm... what a delicious post.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to RB ... something about seeing my boyfriend cooking gets me really horned-up ... as does seeing him bent over his garden and tending the flower baskets ...and ditto after watching hockey, soccer, rugby, wrestling ... and ...umm, okay, it's just my natural state of being.

epicurist said...

Jess - I would like to chat with Marc one day and he and I can commiserate.

Snooze - RB read it adn said I was painting a bad picture of him. I figure if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, then its a duck. Then I realised most of you agreed with him.

Joel - Thank god I don't have a garden right now, cause it would be all weeds with RB around. ;P

epicurist said...

He quacks and he whines, but he also cuddles up and meows when I pet him. It's quite nice having this man-pet around.

epicurist said...

Knotty, at least your name ain't Nubby.

Anonymous said...

The Speed Channel? Bwahahahahahaha. Okay yeah maybe you should just restrict yourselves to TVO. I mean Steve Paikin isn't nearly as stimulating as humongously overbuilt racecars ;-) I seem to be either one way or the other. Either I can't get enough and the bedposts are looking appealing (like this last few weeks) or I'm not interested in the slightest (which I will likely be like in about another few weeks (if I don't jump any cute guys in the meantime).