Alternate Reality Television Shows

With the proliferation of reality TV shows, my boss and I came up with these alternative reality shows about a year ago. I am sure some have become a reality by now.

The Funeral: Contestants compete for an all expense paid funeral for recently dead Granny. The Funeral is complete with live Gospel singers, flowers and limo ride for the deceased and family. Twist: Granny didn't actually die.

The Orphan: A collection of orphans are competing for prospective parents. Twist: The parents are revealed to be a transvestite and his lover.

The Transplant: 4 contestants are competing for 1 available/compatible lung from a recently deceased motorcycle accident. Twist: The winning contestant must give up a Kidney in order to get the lung.

The Vegetarian: Contestants compete for the right to save a truck full of animals destined for the slaughter house. Each contestant will choose in advance which animals they want to save – Pigs, Cows, and Chickens. Twist: The winner will pick from the selection of losers who will have to witness the slaughter of their chosen animal and are required to ware a garment made from the skins of the dead animals..

The Patient: Contestants are signed up by family members. They are told they have a fatal disease which gets seemingly progressively worse or better as the season progresses. The audience votes for whom should get better each week. Twist: All of the contestants are told they are not really sick except for ONE who actually is fatally ill and wins a trip to Florida.

Homeless: Vagrant homeless people are contestants on a show which force them to compete for a job, shelter and medication. Twist: The winner is subsequently fired for no reason and evicted.

Slum Lord: Contestants are required to stay in a dilapidated apartment where they are competing for the right to stay in a luxury unit until the next challenge. Rats, cockroaches and other infestations are rampant in this venue infecting food supplies.

The Prostitute: Contestants vie to be released by their PIMPS. Audience votes for who should go back to the street. Challenge games for rewards include: Spot the STD, Scavenger hunt for Antibiotics and Pin the Drugs on the Pimp.

The Crack Addict: Contestants pulled off skid row to go through a 6 month heroin Detox. The winner gets 6 months free supply of Grade “A” crack and a discount at Goodwill.

The Office: Contestants are hired for a new online company, in the hopes that they will win a coveted VP position. Twist: the company is fake and their jobs aren’t real. Contestants are put through extreme stress related work conditions including amphetamines being put in coffee. The winner wins a trip to Florida.

The Hole: Contestants compete in a series of sex games where they are blind folded and handcuffed and made to have sex with each other. The Twist: Some contestants are swapped with animals…Who is the imposter? Who is the Hole? The winner who guesses the human wins antibiotics and the animal butchered and cleaned.

The Griller: Contestants vie to be the BEST Griller in the Country. Week after week they prepare and grill prime cuts of meat until the winner is crowned by the audience. Twist: The grilling meat is Human and is only revealed at the very end.

The Refuge: Contestants are refugees from countries accused of political and human rights violations. Winners get landed immigrant papers and free ESL classes. The Twist: They must traffic cocaine and raw heroin from their countries into ours without getting caught.

The Immigrant: Contestants vie for the right to immigrate to a foreign country. Winner will be selected by national vote. Twist: The country is Afghanistan and the winner is sent there with a one way ticket.

The Union: Contestants vie for the right to move away from their blue collar jobs and move into management. Twist: After the winner is selected the plant is closed and everyone is laid off.

The Priest: Contestants vie for the right to enter the seminary and become a priest. Challenges include: Spot the Breast, Tickle the Twink, Wiggle my Willy. Twist: All the contestants are arrested for Child Molestation and put on trial.

The Inmate: Male contestants have been falsely accused with a child sex felony and are vying to get a “get out of jail” pass by undergoing a series of tests, trials and tribulations. They will live in a penitentiary, where they will share a cell with another inmate. The Twist: they are each roomed with a real sex offender and are slipped 2 Viagra’s each night with their meals. (Soap in showers comes from a dispenser attached to floor).

Macho Man: Contestants think they are on a game show picking the Macho-est man in America. Challenges are to demonstrate Man-ly activities. Twist: Unbeknownst to them, the contestants are fed daily doses of female hormones. Audience watches as breasts develop, facial hair becomes thinner and men all begin to develop hips.

The Widow: Contestants are vying for the title of best couple in America. Twist: The winner is told that her mate has been in a car accident while coming to the final taping of the show.

The Tech: People are filmed calling their IT departments because of some computer problem. Contestants are the IT department and as such put them through several steps to determine the actual IT problem. The winner is the Tech who can get their user to delete the entire hard drive in the shortest amount of time.

The Coroner: Contestants are vying to be the technical consultant to CSI, the TV show. They are called upon to perform various coroner investigative duties one of which is an autopsy. Twist: The person they are performing the duties on are a recently deceased family member.

The Home: 10 poor & elderly contestants must compete in a series of competitions to see who will leave their families and receive a luxury retirement package. The Twist: They are actually put into a Montreal Nursing Home.