Baking, Toking & Technology

Last night after dinner, Rib Breaker and I decided to smoke a joint, relax and make some "brownies". The tele was on, and I was watching American Idol, as Rib Breaker did all the work in the kitchen. To be honest, I'm not much of a baker, so I leave that to him. I just take advantage of the wholesome delicious goods that he bakes.


As he was puttering about the kitchen he was also tinkering with his new/old phone. A good friend of Rib Breakers just got a new Motorola Razr phone, so he decided to give Rib Breaker his old Motorloa V555. The cell phone, is still quite new and has all the new fandangled toys on it like a camera and multimedia stuff. Rib Breaker being the technical neophyte that he is, has been playing with it and trying to figure it out. Not to add injury to insult, but whenever I give him a technical toy to play with he reminds me of my dog Kalyx, trying to figure out how to get a cookie out of a jar. It just isn't natural for him, but he gets great enjoyment out of it, and always boasts gleefully once he's figured out the connundrum. Anyhow, Rib Breaker decided to make a call to my friend who he was sharing the brownies with and needed the phone number. This was the conversation that followed:

Me: It's 555-1234
RB (after some fumbling): Um, ok. But I want to add him to my phonebook, so wait one sec.
Me: Uh huh.
RB (with raised eyebrow): Ok, I'm in the phonebook. It says Name.
Me: Yeah? So, put in his name.
RB (keying in name, while mocking my sarcasm): "Yeah..so put in his name.." nah naah naaah naaah.
ME: Well, you ask stupid questions, you get a stupid response. Did you put his name in?
RB (smiling and giggling at phone): Oh cool, this phone will suggest names and words for you.
Me (rolling eyes): Um, yeah, really cool. You might want to know he spells his name with a G and not a J.
RB: Crap. I gotta erase and change it.
Me: Are you done yet? You've already taken 5 minutes just to enter his first name.
RB: Shuddup! It's asking for his last name.
Me: It's spelled Xxxxxxx.
RB (Keying in name): Ok. Done. It's asking me to record a Voice Name. What's that?
Me: You record his name in your voice. It's a feature on the phone, where you just say the name and it will call the person, but I never really use it. It'll take you forever to set it up, I bet.
RB: Oh Cool. Should I use his full name?
Me: Whatever tickles your fancy Rib Breaker.
RB (into phone): "George"*
RB (into phone): "Yes"
RB (into phone): "Yes!"
RB (into phone): "No!"
RB (pouting): It's not recording it properly.
Me: Turn the TV off and try it again. Maybe it's the background noise.
RB (puts tele on mute and speaks into phone loudly): "Geooorrgge"
RB (into phone): "YES"
RB (into phone): "YES!!"
RB (into phone): "NO!"
RB: It's still not working!
Me: Will you just say the name normally? You don't have to stress every letter and syllable unless you plan on saying his name like that ALL the time.
RB (into phone): "GEORGE!"
RB (into phone): "YES!"
RB (into phone): "YES!!!"
RB (into phone): "For Fucksake, NOOOOO!"
RB (into phone): "GEORGE"
RB (into phone): "YES!!"
RB (into phone): "YES!!"
RB (into phone): "Fuck, finally, YES!!"

I tried to keep a straight face but it was just way too funny. I honestly need to record these events on camera, so that I can do the moment justice.

* Identities have been protected.

The brownies by the way are delicious.