I know I am not any different or better than others. I know that my fellow man/woman has as much compassion and care as I do about others. I know that I would want the same care and compassion shown to me, as I show to others.
Why am I bringing this up?
Well, this morning as I was on my way to work crossing College Park, I noticed a handsome young man in casual business attire having trouble walking. He had his work bag clenched in his fist and was shaking uncontrollably, head cocked back. In fact, from experience he was either having a seizure or he had cerebral palsy. There were a number of people walking by him giving him funny looks, so I ran over to him to ask if he was ok. He muttered something uncomprehensible and it became obvious to me that he wasn't. I grabbed him and picked him up, before he fell to the ground and carried him over to the grass. His seizure lasted about 45 - 60 seconds and he was frothing and losing control of his limbs and motor skills, so I turned him to his side to prevent choking (tongue slipping back etc).
I called 911 immediately after I had him lying head in lap and they said they would be there in a few minutes. As I was holding him in my lap, cleaning his face, a big burly fellow came up who I immediately became suspicious of. He called out in a loud voice "What the fucks wrong with him?" I told him he had a seizure and that he was fine and that the ambulance was coming. The fellow then began to interrogate me and the guy and then kicked the guy in the knee, saying that he was an EMS technician. I told the guy "to step the fuck away from us, before I get up and I kick you in the head." He continued to try to kick him and I had to jump up to push him away telling him "If you don't step away from us I WILL beat your fucking ass to the ground." He was obviously mentally unstable and had a wild look in his eyes. Funny, how first no one wants to help, then you get the "wrong" types of people trying to interfere. It's fucked up, I tell you. Thankfully the EMS team arrived and they began treatment on the fellow, whilst keeping the burly guy at bay.
They asked me a series of questions about what had happened and I told them he didn't hit the floor or get a concussion and that his eyes seemed dilated. It seems he was diabetic and his blood sugar was very low at 1.4. Your standard sugar level for most people should be between 4.0-6.0. Too low or too high could send you into shock if you are a diabetic (My mother is Type 2 diabetic).
I suppose this was all in a days work, but here is my question. Why do people stand around watching? What is with this culture of Bystander Apathy? What if he was having a heart attack, or started to choke on vomit, or fell back and hit his head on the cement? It's not brain science. If you see someone remotely looking like they are having trouble DO SOMETHING! I studied Psycholgy in University, and I realise that Bystander Apathy is a psychological phenomenon that happens when there are others present, but it pisses the fucking shit out of me when people decide to shift their social responsibility to assist others. We are human beings and compassion is something that should be shown at all times. If this had happened to me, I know I would want someone to assist. It wasn't like this fellow was dressed shabbily, or smelled of alcohol. Even if he was, who cares? We have a duty to help every person when we are faced with a situation to help.
Anyhow, I am glad he is ok, and was happy to note the one other fellow who came to hold the fellows head up as I went to push off the burly guy. There is hope I suppose. I am just fiercely angry at those people who walked by and ignored him, or gave him a dirty look.
Note to self: Go take a St. Johns Ambulatory First Aid course.
27 comments:
Thank you for stepping in. Sometimes, we all need a good samaritan.
Thank you also for being willing to threaten (and maybe back up) the disabling of the intruder. It was noble of you to defend him.
Everything about this story I like. I have been the needy and the caretaker. Each has its nobility.
Thanks for helping that guy. Obviously you ARE different and better than others.
That's why we read this blog.
I was in his position years ago, staggering through Parkdale with an oncoming seizure. All I could think was "shite, i'm going to go funky in a neighbourhood where I'm more likely to be robbed than helped!"
So again, thanks and good work!
GOOD FOR YOU!!! Your story inpired me, growing in Hong Kong, where everybody pretty much walk around with an invisible bubble, I became very protective of my "personal space", and I'm ashame to say I'm a bystander. But you inspired me to be more aware of ppl and strangers around me, and I am going to try my best to help others in distress. Thanks, Epi! Beautiful post.
It is so great that you were willing to help him out. Always comforting that not everyone just stands by. I often wonder how our society can still have such bystander apathy. I would like to think I could be lik you in a similar situation.
Chickadeeva - Welcome and thanks for reading. Thanks, but I don't think the "good samaritan" concept actually applies. I was just doing what I thought was right. But thank you!
dickey - Really? That's pretty scary, especially being in a park at night.
spencer - ummm, thanks... ::blush::
sister - I am glad that someone came to your aid! I can only imagine how scary that must have been.
spoony - I guess part of understanding Bystander Apathy, is the possible sense of embarrasment that people feel when intervening.
Essential - Well, truth be told, half the time I was thinking how super cute this guy was, and how I wanted to get his phone number. I did get his name though...
I'm with you. I'd want help so I help - you know the whole what gfoes around comes around thing. But, I tell you truthfully sometimes I am a little afraid to get involved because on occasion when I've asked if someone needed help or offered to help, I have gotten unkind words from the very person I was trying to help. I also have gotten very untrusting and begin to wonder is this person faking it and then going to drag me into a bush or something. It's a scary world!
bugg - actually, that is a VERY good point, and I know I have been suckered into helping people before. It certainly can be a deterrent and in our society people do need to take extra precautions. I suppose I am naive that way. It's gotten me into plenty of trouble.
yeah, i've seen so much of that kind of thing. it's good to know that people are willing to step up and help out.
this is no where on the scale of an impending diabetic coma, but i remember one winter walking home from school (high school that is) up a hill to my house. it was slippery. there was a woman, probably in her 70s, who's car was stuck in the snow. she couldn't get it to budge. behind her was a row of cars, and in those cars loads of able bodied men and woman, and what were they doing to help? why, honking their horn of course! so, there i was, maybe 15, for sure a kid and nothing more than a kid. i went to the woman and said i would try to push her out. then i stepped behind the car and started pushing. within a couple minutes there were 5 guys who had lept out of their cars to help. apparently having the 5 foot nothing chick willing to push shamed them enough to come out and help.
but i have to say, i would like to think i would help the guy, but i'm not positive. there is always the fear of lashing out. i guess, as horrible as this is, the nice clothing would have made me feel safer. made me figure that it wasn't someone completely mentally unstable who was going to attack me. man. that's shallow. i'm a nice person, honest, i am...
Mainja - I can understand the hesitation. That's why when something like this happens the best approach is ask if they need help. If they say no, then step away. At least you tried, just like you did with that woman on the hill.
ah this is very interesting... i work for the public health department and am very familiar with the signs of people going into diabetic shock. a while ago, while grocery shopping, a woman began to seizure. i ran to her, held her up and and then slowly eased her to the floor. i barked orders at those lurking around us: Call the paramedics! Get this woman some orange juice! Move it! Baby... I know exactly what you're talking about. But also understand that its not so much apathy, but fear as well. Many people don't know what to do. So its up to people like us to step in and take over. Good job Epi!
Good for you for helping out! I also have a Psych degree and I never could understand how or why people who are capable of offering help, don't. I want to believe that the world is a good place, but I have my serious doubts sometimes.
A friend of nine had a seizure once, at the subway station, and was able to call his sister right before. She rushed over but when she got there, discovered someone trying to lift his wallet and other goodies from his pocket. Nice, eh?
I think like Mainja and bugg mentioned, sometimes people hesitate because they're scared. I don't really know the signs of seizures, so I don't know if I would have stepped in. But at least people can get out their cell phones and call for help. On a nicer side of bystanders, I once called 911 and went to intervene when I saw a young guy screaming at an old man and grabbing him, and the operator said I was about the 10th person to phone in - and several people were going up to get the young guy away from the man.
that was simply a good thing you did. you should have feel good point for that for a long, long time.
people stand by because they're jaded. people don't get very shocked anymore and just are able to walk on by when seeing something like that. I'm glad you didn't.
I agree about the apathy. I also noticed it happens a lot less up here. It's one thing I do not miss about living in Toronto. People actually talk to you here, and when you talk to them they don't look at you like you're crazy.
Go Epi!
That was awesome of you to help! I have a good friend that is an epileptic. She has seizures at least once or twice a day. When she has one it just comes on so suddenly most of the time she is lucky not to be climbing the steps to her apartment when she has one.
One day we were at the mall and she started seizing. It took all the power I had in me at the time to fight the people crowding us. My friend was going to be ok. But gaukers just wouldn't leave us alone. No one offered to assist me they just crowded around to watch. People having grand mals need room to move so they wont hurt themselves.
I highly recommend taking a first aid class! If you can go all the way to become a first responder! I became a first responder through my old job with animal control. If you love helping people and saving lives the class is phenominal!
Again, that was so awesome of you to assist that fellow! You deserve a pat on the back! :)
Bees - Yeah, I suppose I am being assumptive in that people would jump to action and know what to do.
Earthmother - Welcome and thanks for the comment. I hope your friend was okay and beat the crap out of that pariah!
Snooze - That's a good sign that there are people out there who still try. But fear can be a major reason, you're right.
myke - Yeah, I was wondering about that last night, whether people are simply de-sensitized to things like this and assume it is a crazy person etc. Not sure if it's jadedness though, but interesting point.
catshark - I can't imagine what a person feels like when this happens to them. The disorientation, fear, etc - it's good that you were there to help and assist. I realise that I really want to do the first AID courses and have made that a goal.
I would like to think I would jump to the rescue, but I don't know that I would. It's actually taken me quite a bit to figure out how to respond in those situations because I freeze up. When I lived in New Brunswick, NJ I was at home when I heard two gun shots go off outside my window. I knew exactly what they were and wanted to call 911. Only I couldn't remember the number - I thought it was 411. Which I think is interesting given that I remember when I was a teenager mainja's father had witnessed a violent act, and asked her "Quick, what's the number for 911?". I guess knowing that people freeze when seeing something traumatic, doesn't mean you don't. That said, when I witnessed a car accident this spring, I was able to respond a lot quicker. Sadly, experience is also a factor in bystander apathy. It makes sense that the more you deal with injury, seizures, violence, etc in the public sphere, the more adept you become at dealing with it.
St. Snafu - That is a good point. Fear can make the brain blank-out and cause the body to react in a different manner, such as flee or hide.
Dantallion - This simply makes me more adamant about completing the First Aid courses. I am beginning to think it should be mandatory for people to learn. What could the harm be? In fact, after some additional investigation and reading, I have found out that 1 person must be educated in First Aid if there are more than 6 people in your workplace.
You were in the right place at the right time, and it was very good of you to do what you did. That man was very lucky that you were there. Always know that your good deeds will not go unnoticed, it will come back to you in some way or another.
Kissyfur - I do believe in Karma, so hopefully this will balance off all the bad things I have done in my life.
I think compassion is being bred out of the human race. Look at what we're forced to watch on TV. Violence upon more violence, reality fucking TV shows from hell. We're slowly being turned into spectators. I'm sure a lot of people that day who saw you recounted the incident as if they were participating. Damn sheep. Thank god you were there.
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Knotty - I was thinking about your comment and see the same problem in the political voting structure. People complain consistently about the state of the nation, but when it comes time to vote, they shrug it off and expect other people to vote on their behalf. It's a major pet peeve of mine. Voting is a right and a duty. It is a responsibility that I take very seriously.
I am heart glad that I share this planet with people like you.
I think it could be that nobody helps or calls because they assume someone else did. In my Psych class a few years back, we looked an example of a woman screaming in an alley at night, she was being atacked. People looked out their windows, but nobody called the cops or came out because they just assumed someone else did.
Good to hear you ran up to this guy, Kant would be smiling at you if he were alive.
You are one of the greatest guys I've ever known.
It's really strange.. almost like they're afraid other people will think they are weak because they're not stoic enough to watch someone else fall down.
Joel - And I am heart glad to share it with you! :)
Raven - Exactly true. That is an old study that was done over 3 decades ago. I know that because I remember studying it in Psych as well...lol
There is a pretty good article recapping that study here:
http://www3.azwestern.edu/psy/dgershaw/lol/BystanderApathy.html
Jase - You are too kind really. But the more I think about it, I just think people clam up and freeze in instances of pressure.
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