After a week and a half wait, I went for my scheduled Upper G.I (GastroIntestinal) X-Ray. I was up at 6:30am and at the lab for 8:00am, where I was greeted by a warm receptionist. Sat in the waiting room for about 20mins and was then escorted to the poorly lit back room, where I was put into a tiny alcove with a draw curtain and told to "put this on, with the opening in the back". It was a fashionable seafoam green paper gurney that was about 10 times larger than my waistline. I waited in this room with 5 other slightly uncomfortable patients. We all knew how ridiculous we looked sitting in these things, but we had no choice. When I was finally called into the room I was told to get on the bed. The Radiologist was a crusty old man who rushed and prodded me. He gave me a vile drink that was supposed to coat my stomach. It had the pleasant taste of chalk and glue. He then proceeded with the directives:
"Turn on your back."
"Lower, and bend your knees...more....More...MORE!"
"A little more quickly"
"Now flip on your back. Could you please flip on your back"
If you have never been to an Xray, it is'nt all that pleasant. You're put on a cold metal XRay bed and a big claustophobic overarm machine covers you, while they push and tell you to get into odd uncomfortable positions.
He impatiently kept telling me to move , when I lost it on him. I said,
"Do I look like a fucking deaf mute midget to you? I have perfectly good hearing, and know what to do, but I am 6 feet 1 inches tall and cannot maneouveur quite as well, when you have your fucking Xray machine crunching me down. Either back off for a sec, or move the fucking arm."
His assistant broke into hysterical laughter and had to go behind the protective radiation wall. The radiologist looked mortified and moved a step back and allowed me to move into my positions with more ease.
When I was done, I left with as much dignity as one could with an open gurney.
6 comments:
Sounds like quite the experience!
Don't suppose you got a video of that episode, did you?
That's awesome. I want to see that video too, though a picture of that open gurney will suffice.
:)
I was a grumpy little boy. Not sure it would have been a pretty site.
Damn it, I should have been there to video the whole thing. Blast it all!!! Did you have to wear a paper gown? Can I touch it LOL :)
Hugs honey,
k
LOL- Knottyboy, it was in fact a paper gown. It had a bit of a ghetto Issey Miyake cut to it.
Funny, when those boys mentioned video, I thought of you and your caera. :P
Good for you for freaking on the radiologist. Imagine what his assistant has to endure.
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