Barking dogs and Magic Mushrooms do not go together.

Since recently on the topic of dogs, I forgot to write about an experience I had during August 2004. I had gone away to a friends cottage late Friday night. My dog was to be alone for about 8 hours or so, with my mum coming early the next day to babysit, so I believed all was fine.

Granted, I should have arranged someone to come earlier and I take full responsibilty for it.

Anyhow, Saturday comes along and were all happily basking in the Parry Sound Sun. Water is warm and weather is beautiful with an ever so slight breeze. The true story begins, when one of our friends decides to take out his bag of magic mushrooms to share with everyone. Now, take note that I have only done this once before, but what I took was smaller than my fingernail, and had little to no effect. This time, they hand me something about the size of my index finger which I eat suspiciously.

What began as a nice day literally turned into a nightmare within the hour. The initial high was fine, but paranoia and hullicinations were going to be the chosen theme for the day for me. Branches, trees, grass and even the wallpaper were crawling like bugs and had me completely freaked out. I have never been in a powerless situation like that and I will never put myself there again. This of course, lasted 6 hours and at the 4th hour I get a call from my hysterical mother telling me that the neighbours had called the security and Police indicating that the dog had been abandoned and abused as she was whining and barking all morning. The police apparently came and said the dog had defecated and urinated all over the home. If the constable had taken a little more care, he would have noticed that the supposed shit were actually her toys and bones strewn about the floor.

This of course could’nt have come at the worst moment. I don’t believe I have ever been more stressed in my life. To top it off, the neighbour left a nasty letter at my door, indicating that I was abusive and that the dog barks everytime they walk down the corridor (like duh!). They called the Humane society, and upon their arrival, the neighbour accosted my mother whilst she was sitting watching Tele with kalyx. Mum of course is a petite, diminutive lady, and she immediately began to cry. The humane society lady was sweet and said that the neighbours were being ridiculous and indicated that kalyx’s mixed breeding made her a whiner, and that she would most certainly bark if someone unfamiliar walked past the front door. She pointed out that it was the nature of dogs to bark.

Now, I realise that I made a misjudgement in leaving Kalyx for an extended period of time, and tehre is no excuse for that. But the kicker was my conversation with my neighbour that Sunday night.

I called her Saturday while in Cottage country and left a mesasge to apologise, and for her to return my call Sunday evening, which she promptly did. She starts the conversation by saying Kalyx always whines and barks, which I tell her I am sorry about, but little I can do. Kalyx literally whines all the time -when we leave, go, move from one room to the other, play, walk, etc. Her whining is equivalent to that annoying tap that never ceases to drip. I have lived with it for 13 years and I am used to it.

I apologise for the barking, and continue by telling her that the walls are quite thin, as her boyfriend had indicated that he could hear me play the piano every now and then. She then responds by saying

“Yeah, we can hear you play Coldplay. One day you’ll get it right!”

Was that completely necessary? I was completely aghast that she would be so nasty. I ended the conversation there. Saw her a few times thereafter, but was cordial. Anyhow, she and her boyfriend have moved. So now, I suppose I have “Bad Neighbour” to add to my any qualities.