Sunday, March 19, 2006

Peeling back the Layers

We woke up early for a Saturday morning, as we had a busy day ahead. We rushed about the home in preparation, dashing out of the doors just after 8am. We walked briskly. The March sun was trying to poke it's way through the clouds, but old man winter was doing it's best to hold tight. Each time the wind took a swing at us, it took a chunk of warmth right out of our exposed flesh. It was bitterly cold. Mother Nature was being a tease and all I could think of was Spring and it's promise of warmth. We borrowed a friend's car and headed out for our trip to visit Rib Breaker's dad in Trenton. I had never met his dad, but had seen a few pictures at Rib Breaker's old apartment and on our trip to visit his mum in North Bay back in November.

The last they saw each other was September of last year, and RB had been wanting to go for sometime now. We headed East on the 401 arriving just after
11am. His father worked for the Canadian Military and Trenton AFB was one that he had worked at for a number of years. It was where RB was born and I got a glimpse into his world as a child. RB drove me around Trenton and pointed out the homes where he had lived. One such house he told me was so old and dillapidated that the home was insulated with bales of hay. In the winter time, the only source of heat was from a small woodstove that barely produced enough heat to keep them warm. The picture he painted was one of a tough childhood, with little money. He told me, on the really cold days he would wake up early and fill the tub with hot water and go sleep in there so that he could shake off the chill. He also told me that he could only draw the water slowly, or else pebbles would come rolling out of the faucet. I kept thinking, "do people really live like that?" How could people in a wealthy nation live in such poverty. I had always lived quite comfortably, even after my family went bankrupt on a business venture back in the early 80's. It was sobering to think that I might have complained about my living situation when he could barely keep himself warm on a winter morning.

We eventually drove into
Trenton and got to his Dad's place. It was a small house shouldered between the Bay of Quinte and the Trent river. His father greeted us at the door with his dog Keisha. His father was slender with shoulder length silver blonde hair, soft kind blue eyes and an even softer voice. The resemblance was uncanny. He grabbed RB and they hugged for what seemed an eternity. I had to avert my eyes. It was such an intimate moment and I didn't want to intrude. I have noticed in RB, this incredible sensitivity and soft heart. He dons this tough protective mask a lot of the times, but in reality he's just a 10 year old kid in a 38 year old man's body. His love is unconditional and pure. They hugged, and kissed and it warmed the cold ktchen and me. Father and son together again.

We sat casually around the kitchen table as though we had been there just a week ago. Shooting the shit, we chatted about each other and his 16 year old dog, who kept waddling over for more treats. RB's older sister, boyfriend and her daughter came just after
noon and we all sat around chatting and laughing. Rb's niece just had a baby boy 2 weeks prior and this was the first RB got to meet him. He was adorable and so tiny. RB took 2 week old Logan and cradled him, then fed and burped him. Watching him, made me fall in love with him all over again.

We spent the day in the kitchen. The silence was sometimes awkward but not uncomfortable. I sensed in David the years of loneliness and frustration of being away from his family and understood more, why he was the way he was. We headed out for dinner which RB and I paid for, then headed back to his dad's place, where we sat for a bit longer before bidding our farewells. I didn't want to push him. I know he could have sat and stayed there forever.

When we finally got up, he first hugged his sister, then his dad. Tears flowed and they didn't say much. His father turned to me with a great big smile, his eyes twinkling, but rimmed in sadness and said "You take good care of him, alright?" They all had the same eyes. Piercing blue, grey rimmed with years of hardship and pain, yet all that emanated from them was love and kindness. I just nodded my head and hugged him again.

We drove home in relative silence. There wasn't much to say as I knew the trip would be hard on him. When we got into the comforts of our home, RB began to cry and I consoled him, the way he had with me 2 weeks past. When his crying subsided, we spoke softly to each other and he fell asleep in my arms.

There are few things in life more precious than seeing true genuine love. Before RB, I never understood what love was or could be. When we met, I thought I was the one who would teach him or fix him, and in the end, it was he who fixed me.


Brad said...

Oh man my friend. You have such a truly beautiful way of writing from the heart everytime. You are someone I just know I'd love if I knew you in person. Course the fact you are cute as hell doesn't hurt either though :) Take care friend!

angel, jr. said...

Everytime I read one of your posts, I get choked up. You've got an amazing way to expression human emotion.

St. Dickeybird said...

Wow, a great weekend!

And Trenton, huh? That's just east of where I grew up. I remember those hay-houses and plumbing issues, although I never lived in those.

Mr.Brian/Mr.Fletcher said...


The Persian said...

that was so sad yet so beautiful, I started to tear up.


Greg the Surly said...

Very well written. Its times like those that help us through the rough days.

ink said...

Your willingness to share these moments with us is a very special thing. Thank you for writing about your life and love so honestly and beautifully. It's truly an antidote to all of the evil that lives out there in the world.

BTW, you wrote "I have noticed in RB, this incredible sensitivity and soft heart. He dons this tough protective mask a lot of the times, but in reality he's just a 10 year old kid in a 38 year old man's body. His love is unconditional and pure." I somehow don't think RB's the only one ...

Stay well and be happy.

R.J. said...

In giving your heart and soul to RB you are getting the same in return. What else can you ask for from a partner? I hope you guys have many, many more years of happiness and growth ahead of you.

Phoenixboi said...

Beautiful moments you should cherish forever :)
x Hugs

No one asked us said...

Thank you.

Sister Staceypatrick said...

What a beautiful and touching post. You truly are a wonderful person, you know that don't you?

Ron said...

Wow, very touching, have tears running down my face as if I read a romance novel with a happy ending. You have a beautiful way of writing. This is the first time I have read your blog, and it won't be the last. Many Cheers to you and RB, you sound perfectly matched!!

Pheebs said...

Epi! Thanks for the comment on my post; totally made my day. :)

I love how candid your posts are, since most people tend to shy away from the really reality-baring details.

Have I mentioned yet that I love this blog?

tornwordo said...

That sounds so nice, the visit, the warmth. I don't understand the crying much, was there some tragedy? I don't cry every time I see my family, what did I miss?

Anyway, it felt so cozy to read about it. And by the way, we're all kids walking around in these adult bodies.

Snooze said...

Most people write relationship posts in a ways that just make me want to vomit. Yours are always beautiful and speak to that universal sense of love. I'm so glad you guys met.

Knottyboy said...

And the old crab cancer's waters flowed. Gurl...are you trying to wreck me. *sniff* Christ almighty. I'm a mess. Good but a mess, a good mess :) Who's to say if you warranted fixing. Maybe it was RB who knew the way down the path a bit better than you.

epicurist said...

Brad - From what I have read on your site, I am sure we would get along just perfectly. I guess it's not hard to write beautifully, when you have beautiful people and things surrounding you. I am very lucky.

angel - Thanks angel. :)

Dickeybird - Yeah, It was a pretty good weekend. I was surprised by the hay homes. You're from Cobourg right?

Brian - ;)

Persian Guy - Thanks, the moment seemed to have that effect on a few people.

Greg - Thanks. The small things in life are really what speaks to me as well.

ink - ::shucks:: Thanks you for those kind kind words. :)

Sister - Thanks again. I'm a bit veklempt now.

Ron - Welcome and thank you for your words. Maybe I should start a new Harlequin romance series. ;-p

Pheebs - I guess the reality-baring stuff is what what helps me get through my day. Thanks for the kudos.

tornwordo - I'm not much of the crying type either (well, I wasn't until I met RB), but Rib Breaker is a very sensitive man and he misses his family terribly. The love they have is very palpable.

Snooze - Hee hee, I'm so glad we met as well. ;-p

Knottyboy - You know, he probably does. :)

St. Dickeybird said...

Cobourg is about 20 min west of trenton.

Raven said...

You're a great writer, and a great guy. Does RB not see his dad that often? From the sound of it, it was a good time, maybe you guys could visit more often? I am lucky in that my parents are local, I would have a hard time if they were far away.