Kinder Cardboard Toy...WTF?
Well, a few days ago, as I walked home in the sweltering heat I decided to take a side street to look at a few of the Victorian homes and their gardens. I have this passion for architecture and especially for gardens, so it was a nice change to walk under the cool graceful shadows of the elms and maples.
As I was walking and thinking about how pretty things were, I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge that just completely overtook me. I had been gasey all day, and attributed the feeling to the spicy Korean food the night before. But, as I turned onto Church street I let out a series of tiny innocuous farts. I walked a little further, and had a look around to ensure no one was watching, then patted my ass just to ensure any remnants of gas would dissipate so that if someone walked behind me, they wouldn't catch wind of it. Classy I know, but you know me, always thinking of my fellow man/woman.
Anyhow, I walked merrily on my way and decided to stop at my brothers house to see if the deck sealant had dried properly, from my job over the weekend. By the time I had gotten through his door, I was already sticky with perspiration. The sweat had run down my back and unfortunately, my butt cheeks felt kinda sweaty too, so I decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up and dry off.
I wasn't quite prepared for the my 'unexpected' surprise. It seems that my fart wasn't quite as innocuous as thought. It was more on par to peanut butter between bread, but I digress. I cleaned up with haste and went home and tossed my undies into the garbage and had a good long shower. I hate it when this happens, because I invariably always wear expensive underwear on days like this. There wasn't a mark on them, but I wasn't about to keep them either. I do have standards you know!
Anyhow, the Moral of the Story my friends is that this was a Kinder Surprise. And like ALL Kinder Surprises, they suck shit. They aren't satisfying, and definitely not fullfilling, and you always end up throwing them out.
I'm talking about the totally unexpected. You know the kind, when you take a different route home and bump into a friend or see a cool site? It's a satisfying and fullfilling turn of events that just makes you smile. It may even hang around for a few days, reminding you of the moment, bringing a smile to your face.
Well, a few days ago, as I walked home in the sweltering heat I decided to take a side street to look at a few of the Victorian homes and their gardens. I have this passion for architecture and especially for gardens, so it was a nice change to walk under the cool graceful shadows of the elms and maples.
As I was walking and thinking about how pretty things were, I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge that just completely overtook me. I had been gasey all day, and attributed the feeling to the spicy Korean food the night before. But, as I turned onto Church street I let out a series of tiny innocuous farts. I walked a little further, and had a look around to ensure no one was watching, then patted my ass just to ensure any remnants of gas would dissipate so that if someone walked behind me, they wouldn't catch wind of it. Classy I know, but you know me, always thinking of my fellow man/woman.
Anyhow, I walked merrily on my way and decided to stop at my brothers house to see if the deck sealant had dried properly, from my job over the weekend. By the time I had gotten through his door, I was already sticky with perspiration. The sweat had run down my back and unfortunately, my butt cheeks felt kinda sweaty too, so I decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up and dry off.
I wasn't quite prepared for the my 'unexpected' surprise. It seems that my fart wasn't quite as innocuous as thought. It was more on par to peanut butter between bread, but I digress. I cleaned up with haste and went home and tossed my undies into the garbage and had a good long shower. I hate it when this happens, because I invariably always wear expensive underwear on days like this. There wasn't a mark on them, but I wasn't about to keep them either. I do have standards you know!
Anyhow, the Moral of the Story my friends is that this was a Kinder Surprise. And like ALL Kinder Surprises, they suck shit. They aren't satisfying, and definitely not fullfilling, and you always end up throwing them out.
8 comments:
LOL!!! good story...sorry about the undies..yeah, kinder surprise sucks after you put them together...cuz they fall apart so easily and i'm too afraid to give it to my little nephew (2.5 yr old), who might swallow it, then his mom would kill me. and when a kid's old enough to not to swallow small piece of toy, they are not interested in kinder surprise anymore..for there are many other much more exciting toys and games
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Did you REALLY think it necessary to post this?
You do have a poo thing, don't you Epi?
;)
Epi, sweetie ... Maybe next time try some oxyclean ... It will keep your 'delicates' snowy white and fresh.... :)
(P.S. I don't think I want a peanutbutter sandwich for lunch now, thanks.)
spoony - Those and cracker Jacks suck as well!
Dickey - Well, you won't look at Kinder Surprises the same way after this will you? so it worked just perfectly.
Joel - I would rather spend the 25 bucks thanks. Oh, and I like the crunchy peanut butter, just so ya know. I also like Nutella.
Hahahahahaha. Okay, I could say something here about other people's poo issues, but I won't, because I'm nice that way. Why didn't ya just soak and wash the undies if they didn't have a mark on them? Javex is your friend!
i've never seen or played with cracker jacks...is it the same idea?
I agree with Snooze. No more fond imaginings...
Sorry all, but everything is a spectacle to me.
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