Friday, April 16, 2004

The Costco of Living

We have all heard the infamous quote “Your eyes are bigger than your stomach”, n’est pas? No where else could you test this theory than at Costco, or some such Bulk Supermarket. I recently went on my virginal trip to Costco. I have never been and I certainly had no idea what to expect. What confronted my senses also confused them. Never have I seen so much stuff in one place in such large quantities. From fruit to fruit-of-the-loom, from dishware to computer wares, from charcoal to diamonds – this place was a one-stop shop for the...well I really don’t know for who.

So there I am wandering through vast aisles, feeling like a confused and overwhelmed Lilliputian, when I come across the meat section. I honestly stood there for about 15 minutes trying to decipher exactly what I was supposed to do with half a cow, and where I was supposed to put it.



I suppose if I was feeding some poor nation on a budget, this would be the place to go, but the fact remains that I am not, and the majority of food stuffs in the joint was pre-made, processed and very fattening. It would be a waste for me to spend $50 on the membership because I’d be dead on my kitchen floor from a clogged artery or heart attack after my first voyage there.

Hmmm - I think I have an idea why the aisles are so big now.

To share in my virginal experience, a group of friends came with me bringing along their trusty and roomy SUV. When I arrived at the colossal warehouse, they laughed with glee and delight at my response and shock. By the end of our 2 hours, my one friend spent 450 plus bucks – what he was planning to do with 6 Litres of Windex, beats me – maybe he plans on cleaning all the windows for his condo complex.
See who’s laughing now.

Anyhow, here are the facts:
I am single guy living in a modest 715 square foot condo, with little storage space. The reality of having all these bulk sized products is ridiculous but even more ridiculous, was that I was entertaining the idea. The success of these business joints, I realized, was due in part by the confusion one feels by the vast quantities for low prices. I also realized that as a smart consumer you really have to balance and determine whether the deal is really a deal.
Is that 40 Lb bag of potatoes really worth it? Or, will it sit in your cramped apartment, whereupon 5 weeks from now you find it has sprout forth tendrils like some grotesque Alien?

The question and dilemma is great because we all want the DEAL. Admit it; we are ALL greedy little buggers and scrooges when you think about it, so the idea of getting some outrageously large product for a small price is greater than the price of it rotting into a pile of putrid trash.

What I ended up coming away with:
• 1 Box of California Jumbo grapefruits (Think of a 5 PIN Bowling ball) there were 13 in the box.
• 1 bag of pears (12)
• 1 tray of pork loins (more than I can eat)
• Dishwasher tablets (box of 80)
• Some money left in my account
• My sanity
• And an experience I will never forget.

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